Just Another Day for John & Lexi, Part 2
by J loves JS
Summary: It's never easy on Atlantis, especially when you're in a relationship with Colonel John Sheppard and just so happen to be the base's head shrink. But it's not all bad.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Stargate Atlantis, the dialogue from the show or the characters, they are owned by MGM. Dr. Alexa (Lexi) Carter is my own original character. I have tried to research the medical jargon as much as possible, so if any of it is incorrect, I apologize.  
© Jennifer Dreyer, 2009-2013

AN: So here is part 2 of my story Just Another Day for John & Lexi. It takes place during Season 5. Please read and review even if you don't like it.

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**Part 2**

**Chap. 1:**

Two hours after Lexi had fallen back to sleep, she is jolted awake by the sound of a huge explosion. Mentally bringing up the lights in the room, she reaches for her radio and opening up the channel to try and contact the Control room to see what has just happened, she hears Teyla's voice over the channel, "Colonel Sheppard, are you all right? John?!"

Worry twisting her stomach into knots as she can hear the fear and concern in Teyla's voice, she throws the blankets off of herself and slips into her sneakers. Hurrying over to the dresser, she pulls out a hoody and as she throws it on, she hears the conversation that Marie and Teyla are having. As soon as she hears Marie say, "I'll go get my people." she reactivates her radio, "Teyla come in please."

"Lexi, I can't really talk right now. As soon as I have found him I will let you know."

Sitting down on the edge of her bed, ringing her hands, "okay. I'll wait for your call."

"Good. Teyla out."

The radio link closed, Lexi takes a deep breath to calm her nerves and when that doesn't work, she heads for her desk and opens up her email account, to try and distract herself.

xxxx

Closing the radio link, Teyla, waits for Marie to come back and once she does, they head for the Gate room. Reaching it, she leads the group up the stairs to the Control room.

As she reaches it, "John?" she says and she waits a second. Not hearing a response she heads over to the consoles and looks around, "they were right here when I left them."

Following Teyla, "if the explosion was hot enough, there might not be anything left for us to find."

They look around some more, using their flashlights to help see in the darkness enveloping the room.

A few seconds later just as Teyla is about to come to grips with the fact that Marie might be right she hears a faint groan. Turning around, "did you hear that?"

Marie nods at her and shining her flashlight in the direction the groan came from they head toward it and as they get closer, they hear another groan.

Teyla picks up her pace, leading the med team and Marie through the open doorway. Running forward she sees John on the ground, covering Zelenka, broken glass surrounding them and embedded in John's back.

"John!" she gasps out, as the sight of finding them alive, overwhelms her. But pushing her emotions to the side, she and Marie rush over to him, taking him by the arms, helping him stand up.

xxxx

John had known that they were going to have to take cover, as the explosion was going to be huge, even if it would be some what contained by the force shield. With seconds to spare, he bodily hauled Zelenka away from the consol, heading for the door leading out onto the balcony. Just before the Gate blew up, he pushed Zelenka out the door and flung himself over the scientist, covering him with his arms.

As the debris fell around them, John could feel glass and a large chunk of wall, spraying his back and hitting him on the back of the head, knocking him loopy.

Coming to a short time later, he hears someone calling his name and he slowly forces his eyes open, taking stock of his situation. Moving around a little sends his immediate area spinning and his gut churning, eliciting a groan. Realizing that moving around is not the best idea right now, he attempts to speak, which he also realizes is not a great idea and instead he lets out another groan.

The next thing that registers is, "John." and in an instant he feels Teyla's hands on him.

Letting out another groan as he feels her and Marie help him to his feet, "we didn't take cover."

Hearing him say this, Teyla looks at him, concern written across her face, "are you alright?" she asks.

Looking at her, "huh?"

Frowning, "are you all right?" she asks, again, this time a little louder.

Letting out another groan, as now that he's standing his equilibrium is a little shaky, "oh, my ears. I think I got some glass in my back."

Realizing that he is definitely suffering from at least a minor concussion, "Marie?"

Taking him from Teyla, "yeah." and guiding him unsteadily over the rubble, she is forced to support most of his weight. Reaching the waiting gurney, "all right Colonel, lie down on your stomach and we'll get you down to the infirmary."

"What...did you say?"

Frowning and shaking her head, she raises her voice, "I said, lie down on your stomach and we'll wheel you down to the infirmary."

Doing as he is told, he gingerly lowers himself down onto the gurney, letting out a sigh of relief as his head hits the mattress. Once he is lying down, the med team starts wheeling him to the infirmary. Feeling his stomach threatening to rebel from the movement even more than it was, he closes his eyes and concentrates on his breathing.

"Colonel, come on, I need you to open your eyes for me."

Moaning and swatting the hand that has been tapping him on his cheek away, he forces his eyes open, to see Marie's face swimming into view, _oh, great. Another concussion_ and as he refocuses on her, he realizes that she is talking to him.

"Colonel, can you to take your shirt and vest off for me, so that I can clean the glass out of your back."

Nodding his head, but stopping mid nod, as it sends white lights dancing across his vision, he slowly places his hands underneath himself and tries to push himself up off the gurney. Falling back down as his arms give out, "ah, can I get a little help?" he grits out, as the sudden movement causes pain to lance through his back.

Grimacing, "of course." Marie says, as she helps him into a sitting position. Once he is sitting up, she hands him two Tylenol and a glass of water, "take these."

Accepting the pills and water, downing them quickly, "thanks." he says, as he hands her the cup back.

That done, he stiffly begins to undress himself and as he pulls off his vest, BDU over shirt and t-shirt, he has to bite the inside of his cheek, to stop himself from screaming out in agony, as the shards of glass that are embedded in his back, dig in deeper.

xxxx

As Teyla helped a medic guide Zelenka out of the Control room, she remembered that she had promised to let Lexi know as soon as she had found John. Reaching up to tap her radio, "Teyla to Lexi."

"Go ahead Teyla. Did you find him?"

Letting go of Zelenka and allowing the medic to help him onto the waiting gurney, she frowns as she looks behind her at what is left of the Control and Gate rooms, "yes. He and Dr. Zelenka are alive."

"Good. That's great news. How's everything else?"

Turning to follow the med team towards the infirmary, "the Gate has been destroyed. I am going down to the infirmary to speak with John. I am sure he won't want to stay there. Maybe you should come and see if you can talk some sense into him?"

"Teyla, I highly doubt that he will listen to me. But I'm on my way."

Walking into the infirmary and spotting John sitting on a gurney, Marie standing behind him, she walks over to him, "I'm there now. See you soon. Teyla out."

Grunting in pain as he feels Marie pulling out a piece of glass, he looks up to see Teyla coming to a stop in front of him, "I need you to get Banks and her team to set up an auxiliary control room below the damaged areas."

Watching him, "they've already begun. How are you?"

Grimacing and grunting as he feels another piece of glass being removed, "well, I'm alive, you know? That's good for now."

Shaking her head, "I still do not understand what happened."

"The Gate blew up."

Smiling, "that much I surmised. But why?" she says, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Shaking his head and grimacing again, "I don't know. Where the hell's McKay when you need him, huh?"

Matching his grimace, "I'm sure Dr. Zelenka will figure out where they were taken."

"John Sheppard you couldn't just read a book or something?!"

John, Marie and Teyla all look at the main door leading into the infirmary to see a very angry and tired looking Lexi striding towards them.

Teyla looks at John and nodding her head at the silent request he sends her, "Marie, why don't we go and get some more bandages to cover those cuts. I don't believe you have enough."

Catching on quickly, Marie nods and placing the tweezers down in the disinfectant bowl on the tray that is next to her, she smiles at Lexi and follows Teyla.

Watching them leave, she waits until she is certain they are out of ear shot and turning to face John again, she opens her mouth to say something, but he beats her to it, "Lexi, I was only doing my job."

Scowling and walking around to look at his back, "that's your answer for everything." and taking in a deep breath at the sight of all the cuts, she shudders and coming back around to his front, looking at him, "let me guess. You're not going to take it easy."

Shifting carefully on the gurney, "nope. I've got to help Zelenka figure out how to get Rodney and Dr. Jackson back."

Scowl turning into a frown, "at least let Marie give you something stronger than Tylenol."

Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "Lexi, I've got to stay lucid. I can't be high on pain meds and run a rescue mission."

Crossing her arms across her chest, "how bout we give you a shot of Tramadol? It'll numb the pain and won't leave you loopy."

"Are you sure?"

Smiling, "yeah. It's the same thing Jen gave you on the Daedalus, when you went to rescue Teyla."

Nodding, "okay. Shoot me up."

"Really?" she asks, shocked that he is agreeing to it.

Rubbing his temples, as his head is screaming, "Lexi, please don't go into this right now. Just give me the damn shot and let me go do my job. You can yell at me all you want later."

Frowning, "whoa. No need to get angry."

Matching the frown and letting his hands drop tiredly in his lap, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

Seeing his shoulders slumping, inwardly cursing his stubbornness, "it's okay. Sit tight and I'll be right back." and turning to head for one of the medicine cabinets, she stops short as Marie and Teyla are walking towards them, "Marie, can you get a shot of Tramadol for him and I'll finish cleaning him up."

Nodding and handing her the bandages and new shirts, "yes, of course."

Teyla watches her go and as she turns her head back to John, seeing that Lexi is now standing behind him, pulling on gloves, "what is Tramdol?"

Picking up the tweezers and resuming the process of pulling out the remaining shards of glass, "it's a pain medication that will dull the pain, but not stop him from doing what he needs to do."

Looking from her to John, "well that is good."

Smiling, "yeah." and letting out a grunt as Lexi pulls out a rather big piece of glass, "are you almost done?"

Shaking her head, "yeah. Only a couple more pieces and then I'll disinfect the cuts and bandage you up."

"Dr. Carter?"

Quickly glancing at Marie, "go ahead and give it to him." and refocusing on the last couple of pieces of glass, she feels him tense under her touch as Marie inserts the needle of the syringe.

Disposing of the syringe, Marie and Teyla excuse themselves, leaving Lexi to finish treating him. It takes her another ten minutes to finish disinfecting and applying butterfly strips to the cuts. After she applies the last bandage to his back, she helps him into the new shirts she had placed next to him earlier.

Buttoning up the last button, he looks at her standing in front of him and it hits him how beat she looks, "you look like crap."

Smirking, "like you look any better."

Scowling, "Lexi."

"Okay, okay. Anyways, I was sleeping. But someone decided to almost get blown to pieces, again."

Wrapping his legs around her, pulling her closer to him, resting his arms on her waist, "I'm sorry. But I'm fine now, so why don't you head back to bed?"

Running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, "I don't know. I'm thinking I should stick to you like glue and keep an eye on you."

Pushing her away and standing up, he quickly sits back down as the room spins a little, "okay, let's try that again."

Grimacing at him and holding out her hands, "you want some help?"

Taking her hands, he slowly stands up, leaning into her as the room spins again.

Not missing how unsteady he still seems on his feet, "you good if I let go?"

"Yeah."

Letting go and walking over to the tray where she left the tweezers and taking a look at the chart that Marie had started on a tablet, "John, you lost consciousness?!"

Shrugging at her, "I'm fine Lexi." and heading for the exit, "I'll see you later."

Standing in his path in a matter of seconds, pointing a finger at him, "stop right there, John."

Sidestepping her and continuing towards the exit, "Lexi don't. I'm fine, really and I've got to go."

Walking after him, "John, if you lost consciousness, it's a good bet that you have a concussion. Which means..."

Looking at her as they reach the transporter, "which means, I shouldn't be going off and mounting a rescue mission. But, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. So wish me good luck."

Flicking her eyes around the corridor to see if they're alone and not seeing anyone in the vicinity, she leans in and kisses him and as she pulls away, "fine. Good luck. But the minute you get back, you get your butt back here, so Dr. Cole can keep an eye on you. Promise?"

Smiling, he kisses her again and stepping into the transporter, hitting the screen, "I promise. Love you."

Watching the doors close, "love you too." and as the light flashes and the doors open again, "be safe." she says, stepping in and hitting the screen to take her to her quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chap. 2:

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**"Dr. Cole to Dr. Carter, come in please."

Startling awake and rolling over, Lexi's eyes settle on the clock, inwardly sighing, as the numbers glowing back at her, let her know that it's 2330, and she feels as if she could sleep for another twelve hours, _well that's what I get for having slept fourteen hours in the past four days.  
_  
"Lexi?"

Reaching for her radio, she slips it into her ear, and activating it, "go ahead Dr. Cole."

"I'm sorry to wake you. I know you were sleeping, but."

Sitting up against the pillows, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, "it's okay. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you've seen or heard from Colonel Sheppard? They got back about an hour ago, but he has not shown up for his after mission check."

Throwing the blankets off of herself and slipping into her sneakers, she gets up and picking up the hoody that she had thrown on her desk, when she had returned from the infirmary earlier that day, she pulls it on, "no. I haven't seen him. Have you tried radioing him?"

"Yes. But he did not answer. Would you mind looking for him? I would, but I'm taking Jennifer's shift, and I'm a little busy treating Dr. Jackson."

Heading into the bathroom and quickly brushing her teeth, "is Daniel okay?" she asks around the tooth brush.

"He will be. But General Landry wants him to be treated back at the SGC. So he'll be going back to Earth as soon as the Daedalus gets back with the new Gate."

Leaving her quarters, walking to the transporter, "wow. I guess I slept through a lot."

"Yes. Anyway, I've got to go. But please let me know when you've found the Colonel. I took a look at his chart from when you treated him earlier, and I agree that he should be kept under observation tonight."

Reaching the transporter, "I'll bring him by as soon as I've found him. Carter out." and swiping the door control, activating her radio again, "Dr. Carter to Colonel Sheppard." and stepping into the transporter, she hits the screen for the temporary control room, fear starting to twist in her stomach, as all she hears is dead air over her headset, as the doors slide shut.

Stepping out of the transporter, she tries again, "John, please come in." and not getting an answer again, she picks up her pace.

Reaching the temporary control room, she quickly spots Amelia sitting at a computer, talking on a radio. Coming to a stop in front of her, she waits until Amelia finishes her conversation.

A few seconds later, smiling at her, "Lexi, what can I do for you?"

Returning her smile, "I was wondering if you've seen Colonel Sheppard."

Shaking her head, "not since he escorted the Traveler Katana back to her ship."

Frowning, "when was that?"

Looking at her watch, "about an hour ago." and looking up from it, "is something wrong?"

Frown turning into a grimace, "not really. He's just being stupid. Can you find him for me?"

Matching her grimace, but quickly typing the commands into her lap top, "sure."

A few seconds later, "he's on the south west balcony, level 5."

Turning and heading for the transporter, "thanks Amelia." and cutting her off before she can offer help, "and don't worry, I'll radio if I need help."

Smiling and returning her focus to her lap top, "okay. See you later."

"See you." Lexi says, as she reaches the transporter, on the other side of the temporary control room.

Getting in, she hits the screen for the south west balcony, level 5 and taking a deep breath to calm herself, she swipes her way out onto the balcony.

"John?" she says, not seeing him right away.

Getting no answer, she walks further out onto it, where she catches sight of him standing at the far end of it, leaning heavily against the railing.

Quickly walking up to him, she tries again, "John?"

Turning his head to look at her, "you found me."

Weaving her arm through his left and taking his hand in hers, she runs her eyes over him, taking in the lines of pain etched around his eyes, "yeah well, those sub q transmitters work wonders. Why haven't you answered your radio?"

Looking back out at the ocean, "I ah...I needed some fresh air."

Feeling him shiver, "that's all fine and good. But," and pulling him away from the railing, "why don't we head inside?"

Gripping the railing tighter, and looking at her, "can't we just hang out here for a little while longer?"

Sliding up next to him and turning him to look at her, she doesn't miss how unsteady he is on his feet, "what's wrong?"

Reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose with his right hand, "nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

Sighing and draping his left arm around her shoulder, "right, I've heard that one before." she says, as she carefully rests her right arm around his waist, careful of his back and starts to guide him to the doors leading back into the city.

They make it as far as the bench, and as the floor and sky flip flop, "Lexi..."

Hearing the weakness in his voice, she looks up at him to see the color draining from his face, "whoa, John." she says, and all she can do is guide him to sit on the bench. Kneeling in front of him, seeing his eyes scrunched closed, "John talk to me. What's going on?" she asks as she takes his wrist in her hand and takes his pulse.

Feeling her hand wrapped around his wrist, and hearing the question, he squints open his eyes, "dizzy." and seeing the frown on her face, he forces his eyes open all the way, and pulling his wrist out of her hand, "I'm good."

Resting her hands on his thighs, looking him the eyes, "I'm gonna call for a gurney."

Reaching for her hand just before it reaches her ear, "no Lexi, don't. Just...give me a minute"

Standing up and looking down at him, hands on hips, "John, please. I know you're not fine..."

Looking up at her, grimacing, "Lexi."

Rolling her eyes, "fine. But we're going straight to the infirmary."

Seeing the eye roll, "okay." and standing up, he nearly topples over into her.

The next thing he knows, he is lying down on the bench on his right side, his head resting on something soft, and as he realizes that his head is resting on Lexi's lap, he looks up at her. Seeing her staring down at him, talking to someone on her radio, "what...happened?" he asks, surprised by how weak his voice sounds.

"Okay. We'll be waiting." and closing the link, "you passed out."

Closing his eyes again, as now that he is conscious he is acutely aware of the jack hammer slicing through his head and the cuts on his back, starting to sting, "why?"

Running her fingers through his hair, "well, if I had to guess, I'd say that your body is finally feeling the past twenty four hours."

Opening his eyes and looking up at her again, "did you call for a med team?"

"No Sheppard. She called me."

They look over at the doors into the city to see Ronon striding out towards them, and as he reaches them, "let's get you down to see the doc."

Between the two of them, they are able to get him down to the infirmary, and as they reach it, "Katya, do me a favor and help Ronon get Colonel Sheppard settled."

Katya's "yes doctor." echoes after her as she heads off to find Dr. Cole.

She finds Dr. Cole standing next to Daniel's bed, and she smiles as she makes eye contact with him.

Coming to a stop at the foot of his bed, "hey stranger. Long time no see."

Returning her smile, "I could say the same to you." and shifting in the bed, holding out his arms, "come and give me a hug."

Moving to the side of the gurney and gently hugging him, "it's good to see you." and pulling away, she doesn't miss the grimace of pain that flashes across his face, as he settles back against the pillow again, "how do you manage to get yourself into these messes?"

Smiling, "oh you know. Comes with the territory."

Chuckling and looking at Dr. Cole, "Katya and Ronon are getting John settled. Can you go take a look at him?"

Frowning, as he sees Dr. Cole nod and walk away, "is Colonel Sheppard okay?"

Turning her head to him, "he'll be fine. He decided to play super hero, like someone else I know." she says, glaring at him.

"I'll be fine too." and yawning, "I'm sorry that we couldn't spend more time catching up, though."

Trying not to burst out in laughter, "yeah. I would have loved to have found out how you lost the bet."

Grimacing, "oh no. Sam didn't send it to you."

Cracking up and nodding, tears streaming down her cheeks, "oh yes, she did. I loved it, it made my day."

Sighing, "great. I'm glad I could be of service." and pointing at the bag that is sitting on the gurney next to him, "that's for you. Everyone is sorry it took so long to get them to you. But ah things were a little crazy back home."

Turning around, she sees the bag and walking over to it and pulling out some tissue paper, "ooh, birthday presents. Cool." and turning back to face him, seeing that his eyes are glued to her, she leans down and kisses him on the cheek, and as she pulls back, "I'm gonna go check on John. I'll stop by before you're shipped out of here."

Raising an eyebrow, "Lexi, are you two still together?"

Smiling, as she picks up the bag and walks towards John's room, talking over her shoulder, "yeah. Get some rest."

Closing his eyes, he does exactly as she suggested.

xxxx

As Lexi walks into John's room, her eyes immediately come to rest on him. A sad smile crosses her lips as she sees that he is asleep on his stomach on the gurney, arms tucked up under the pillow.

Walking over to his bed, she places the bag down on the chair next to it, and as she does so she scans her eyes over his bare back, which Dr. Cole is currently re-bandaging. Settling her eyes on his face, she doesn't miss the nasal cannula giving him oxygen and the IV hooked into his right arm.

Running her fingers through his hair, she smiles as he slits his eyes open, blearily looking up at her, through his right eye. Continuing to run her fingers through his hair, "close your eyes and go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

He smiles and as his eyes close, she looks up at Dr. Cole, who is placing the last butterfly strip on his back, "how's he doing?"

Pulling off her gloves, disposing of them in the trash, and coming over to the computer next to the bed, typing some notes on it, "well, as I'm sure you can tell, he's running a slight temp. Nothing too serious, thankfully. But even though you and Marie cleaned them out, some of the cuts got infected. So, we put him on broad spectrum antibiotics and if he does okay with the neural checks and his temp stays down, I'll release him tomorrow afternoon." and looking at her from the computer, "are you staying here tonight?"

Frowning, picking up the bag and heading for the door, "yeah. I just want to drop this in my quarters, shower, change and grab a bite to eat. I'll be back in an hour."

Smiling and checking the IV in John's arm, "all right. I'll have Hall wheel a gurney in here for you and I'll tell the nurses to be quiet when they wake him for his neural checks."

Stopping at the door, and turning to face her, "I don't think that'll be necessary. I'm pretty sure, I'll be dead to the world once I'm out. But thanks." and turning around again, she heads out of the infirmary.

Half an hour later she is walking into the mess hall. Food tray in hand, she heads out onto the balcony, smiling when she sees Jamie and Lorne waving her over.

Coming over to the table and taking a seat next to Lorne, "welcome back."

Smiling, "thanks. I hear I missed a lot."

"Yeah. I did too. I slept through most of it. But, I'm sure Woolsey will have sent you a status update." she says through bites of her food.

Rolling his eyes, "great. I can't wait."

"Lexi, is the Colonel okay?" Jamie asks, around bites of her own meal.

Lorne looks from her to Lexi, concern written across his face, "wait, I thought he went on the rescue mission."

Swallowing, "he did. But he and Radek were caught in the Control room when the Gate blew up. He's down in the infirmary right now, but hopefully he'll be released tomorrow."

Frowning, "I'll keep my fingers crossed. How's Dr. Jackson?"

Smiling, "he's going to be okay. But, he's being sent back to the SGC. General Landry wants him to be treated there."

"That's good new that he's gonna be okay." Lorne says and looking at Jamie, "well, Lexibeth, we're gonna head out. We'll see you later."

Not missing the look Jamie had given him, she smiles, "have fun."

Plastering an innocent look on her face, "Lexi, I don't know what you're talking about." Jamie says, as she and Lorne walk towards the exit.

She watches them walk out, returning the smile that Lorne shoots her behind Jamie's back, and finishing her meal, she gets up, heading for the infirmary.

Walking into the infirmary, she heads over to Daniel's bed, smiling as he is awake, "shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I was. But I'm heading back to Earth in thirty minutes and Dr. Cole woke me up, to get me ready." and running his eyes over her, "you know something, I didn't realize it before, but you look wiped."

Taking a seat on the gurney that is next to his, sighing, "yeah well, I've been doing research for the past four days."

Smiling, "ah. That'd do it. Let me guess. You haven't seen your bed for most of that time."

Returning the smile, "hey, I don't like leaving things unsolved."

"You're just like your aunt, you know that?"

Chuckling, "what can I say? It runs in the family." and getting up, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek, "take care of yourself and say hi to everyone for me."

Leaning his head against the pillow, "I will, and you do the same."

Smiling warmly at him and heading for John's room, "thanks. Will do."

Entering John's room, she walks over to his side and runs her eyes over him. Frowning as she catches the rapid movements of his eyes under his lids. Running her fingers through his hair, her frown deepens as heat and sweat meet her fingertips, "John, open your eyes. It's just a bad dream."

She waits a couple of seconds, and when he doesn't open them, she kneels down so that she is in his line of vision, "John." she says, gently shaking him.

Hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. As John slowly wakes up, his senses alert him to the fact that he feels like he is traveling through the desert and the arctic at the same time. The next thing he realizes is that someone is running their fingers through his hair and calling his name. A few seconds later, he feels someone gently shaking him and calling his name again, this time with a hint of fear in their voice.

Realizing who is trying to wake him up, he forces his eyes open, and is rewarded with Lexi's face in his line of sight, "mm…up." he slurs out, and running his right hand over his face, he feels the nasal cannula under his nose. He tries to remember why he is currently lying on his stomach, but he can't seem to, "ah Lexi, what's going on?"

Concern flooding through her, "what's the last thing you remember?"

Shifting in the bed, he feels the pull of the IV in his right arm, but not feeling any pain, he realizes that he must be pumped up with pain meds. "John?" brings him out of his thoughts and refocusing on Lexi, "um, waking up in the infirmary with glass in my back."

"And?"

Frowning and concentrating, "Zelenka and I hitched a ride on a Travelers ship with Katana. We rescued the Daedalus, who had beamed McKay and Dr. Jackson up from the planet, and blew up the alien base."

Matching the frown, "is that it?"

Closing his eyes, he tries to dig up the memories. But when that causes his head to pound and a shiver to run through him, he opens his eyes again, and looking her in the eyes, "I can't remember anything else."

Running her fingers through his hair again, "it's okay. But, the reason why you can't remember anything else is because you ended up with a concussion on top of an infection from those cuts on your back." and seeing his eyes closing, she smiles, "don't worry about it, all right?"

Letting his eyes close all the way, "okay. Are you staying...with me?"

Standing up, she leans over, kissing him on the forehead, and as she straightens up, she frowns again, as she can tell his temp is rising, "I've got no where else to be right now."

She watches him for a couple of minutes, and is startled when she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder. Turning around, "Jen, I thought Dr. Cole was taking your shift?"

Smiling, as she walks over to the computer on the left side of the bed and runs through Dr. Cole's notes, "she is. But I heard through the grape vine that he was in here." she says, pointing at John, and reaching for the thermometer that is sitting on the tray next to the bed, "let's see how he's doing."

Lexi watches as she inserts the thermometer into his ear and a few seconds later, seeing the frown that crosses her lips, "how bad?"

Placing the thermometer back on the tray, typing orders onto the computer, and walking towards the door into the infirmary, "bad enough that I'm adding to what he's already on."

Sighing, Lexi watches her exit the room, and as her eyes come to rest on John, she startles for the second time in the span of a couple of minutes, as his eyes are open and he's shifted onto his left side, staring at her, "what's wrong?"

Pulling his knees up to his chest, careful of the IV line, "I'm freezing."

Reaching for the blanket that was covering his legs, she pulls it up over him and sitting down on the edge of the bed, leaning over him to tuck him in, "better?" she asks, rubbing his shoulder.

Closing his eyes, and letting out a sigh, "yeah. Thanks." and opening his eyes, he sees Keller walking in, syringes in hand, "hey doc, sorry to pull you in."

Coming to a stop next to the IV pole, tapping out the syringes, she looks from him to Lexi, who shrugs, and focusing on inserting the meds into his IV, "it's not a problem."

Watching her inject liquid into his IV, "what did you just give me?"

Disposing of the syringes, "just another dose of pain medication and a fever reducer." and heading out of the door, "get some sleep. Katya, will be in in another two hours for a neural check. Lexi, you should get some sleep as well."

They watch her leave and as another shiver runs through him, "this sucks."

Looking down at him, she sees his eyes are closed and taking his right hand in hers, "well, who told you to play hero?"

Opening his eyes, he glares at her, "no one." and squeezing her hand, "Keller's right, you should get some sleep."

"You sure?"

Pulling the blanket up to his chin, "yeah. But could you get me another blanket before you do?"

Standing up and letting go of his hand, "sure. I'll be right back." and walking out of the room and she heads for a supply cabinet. Reaching it, she takes out an extra blanket and walks back to his room. Entering it, she smiles to herself as he seems to have fallen asleep. Covering him with the blanket, she leans over and kisses him on the forehead. Satisfied that he is ensconced in the blankets and is down for the count for now, she walks over to the gurney that is on his left side, and climbing into it she mentally dims the lights further, and with one last look at him, she falls asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chap. 3:**

**

* * *

**

Two weeks later, Lexi is sitting in her office, watching McKay pace back and forth, which seems to be how he reacts any time he comes to her office to talk with her.

"Rodney, sit down."

Stopping mid stride and glaring at her, "but...oh all right." he says, taking a seat opposite of her.

"Look, you shouldn't worry about Ronon. Jen made her choice and he's gonna have to deal with it." and seeing him wince, "he won't do anything to you. If anything, he'll take out his feelings on John and some unsuspecting marines."

Running his fingers through his hair, "Ronon isn't the only person I'm worried about. Now that Jennifer has made a choice, do I change tactics, or keep doing the same things?"

Smiling at him, "you're gonna have to change a few things. But mostly just keep spending time with her and she'll let you know if you should be doing anything else."

Looking down at his watch, "oh, I've got to go. We're heading off world to see Carson." and standing up, heading for the exit, "thanks Lexi."

Watching him walk out the door, "no problem. Say hi to him for me."

"Will do." he says, as the doors close behind him.

She watches the doors for a couple of seconds and shaking her head to clear it, she gets up and just as she is about to reach her desk, she hears the doors swish open again, "Rodney, did you forge..." the rest of her words are cut off as John has his arms wrapped around her waist and is kissing her passionately.

Smiling and talking through the kiss, "shouldn't...you...be..in the...Gate...room?"

Pulling away from her and returning the smile, "I should. But a little bird told me that you're celebrating your Atlantis birthday tomorrow."

Raising an eyebrow, "John, you know better than anyone why we do it this way."

"Yeah. Elizabeth insisted on it. I think it was because she didn't like everyone knowing when it was her real Birthday."

Not missing the hurt that flashes through his eyes, she takes his hand in hers and squeezing, "I think it was because she knew people around here are usually so wrapped up in work, that if she made it a requirement, we would have to do it."

Shifting uncomfortably on his feet, "anyway, I don't know what time I'll be getting back, and I wanted to give you something." and reaching into his back pocket, he brings out a black box, "Happy Birthday."

Taking the box from him, she opens it, letting out a gasp, "oh John! It's beautiful." and as he takes out the diamond tennis bracelet and puts it on her right wrist, "you really shouldn't have. It must've cost you a fortune."

Shrugging, "it wasn't that expensive. Also, I haven't had someone to buy things like this for in a really long time."

Turning the bracelet around her wrist and looking up into his eyes, "thank you. I love it."

"Good I'm glad." and leaning down, he takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Pulling away, "okay, now I've really got to go. But when I get back, we'll celebrate properly." and smiling at her, he turns to head for the door.

However before he reaches it, he stops short as he feels her hand on his arm. Before he knows it, she has spun him around and is kissing him hard, arms clasped around his neck, fingers running through the hair on the back of his head.

She pulls away, and looking down at her, "wow. If I'd known all it would take to get a kiss like that would be to buy you diamonds, I would've done it a lot sooner."

Laughing and playfully hitting him on the shoulder, "you're horrible, you know that?" and pulling him into a hug, resting her head on his shoulder, "be safe, I love you."

Hugging her tighter, "I'll try my best." and pulling away, "love you too."

She watches him get into the transporter and as the doors close, she smiles as she catches the wave he sends her way. Heading back into her office, looking down at the bracelet as she walks over to her desk, she sends up a little prayer, just like she does every time he heads off world.

xxxx

"Lexi, hang on a sec."

Stopping in her tracks, she turns around to try and locate the voice, smiling as she does so, "Evan, what's up?"

Sidestepping some scientists who are in his way and reaching her, "where are you headed?"

Falling into step with him, "the mess. You wanna join me?"

Smiling, "sure." and as they reach the doors to the mess, "so, do you have any plans for celebrating tomorrow?"

Walking over to the food line, "no, not really. I have a full day of sessions, but other than that nothing really set in stone. Why?"

Grabbing a tray and filling it with food, "well, I was thinking we could have dinner. Unless you were planning on doing something with Colonel Sheppard."

Leading him to a table, "nope. John and I don't have any plans, dinner would be great. Just you and me?"

Taking a seat at the table, "no."

"You're not throwing me a party are you?" she asks, around bites of her soup.

Smiling, "no. But I was thinking about inviting a few people."

Returning the smile, "just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Promise me that you won't go overboard."

"Scout's honor. It'll be you, me, and few select people."

Grinning, "thanks."

They finish their respective meals and after discarding their trays, he walks her to her quarters. Kissing her on the cheek, "sleep tight, Lexibeth."

"How many times..."

Laughing and hurrying out of her reach, "I know, I know. Don't call you that."

"If you know, why do you keep doing it?"

Talking over his shoulder as he walks away from her, "because, I love to annoy you."

"And you're so good at it." she shouts after him, a huge smile on her face, as she sees him turn the corner. Turning around to face the doors, she swipes her way into her quarters and after getting ready for bed, she climbs into it, and taking out her radio, she falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

xxxx

Sitting in the infirmary, John scans his eyes over everyone, smiling to himself at the fact that they had all made it back, relatively unscathed. As soon as they had walked into the infirmary he had waved off Keller's attempts to check him over before his team and Beckett. Leaning back against the gurney now, he finally admits to himself how exhausted he really is. Rubbing his eyes, it takes his brain a little bit longer than it usually would, to realize that he is currently attracting very little attention. Happy that this is the case, he quietly slides off the gurney and slips out of the infirmary. Heading for Lexi's quarters, he loses himself in the events of the previous twenty four hours.

"John, stop!"

Stopping inches from the door, "wh..what? Huh?"

Jogging to a stop next to him, pulling her headphones out of her ears, "you okay?"

"Yeah." and running his eyes over her, taking in her clothes and the iPod on her arm, "I thought you'd still be in bed."

Swiping them into her quarters, and guiding him over to the couch, "it's 0830."

Smiling, and taking her hand in his, "yeah, but."

"But I'm not off today. I've got sessions starting in two hours." and looking him over, seeing the fatigue radiating from him, "hard mission?"

Sighing, and sinking further into the couch, "you could say that. We had some difficulty with the locals and the wraith. Carson came back with us and..."

"Colonel Sheppard, please report to the infirmary." cuts off the rest of his words.

Looking at him, she doesn't miss the flash of guilt that crosses his face, "did you sneak out without having your check?"

Not meeting her eyes, "yeah. I wanted to see you."

Standing up, she walks over to the dresser and pulls out a hoody. Taking off the iPod, putting it in the same draw, she pulls the hoody on and walks over to stand in front of him, "come on, let's go get you checked over, and then we can come back and you can crash."

Looking up at her, a tired smile forms on his lips, and taking her hand, "I can't say no to you can I?"

Pulling him to his feet and squeezing his hand, "no you can't." and as she leads him out of the quarters, "oh by the way, we're having dinner tonight with Evan, and a few other people. I don't know all the details, but I saw him in the gym and he said he'll be by to pick us up at 1930."

"Another party?" he asks, as they reach the transporter.

Getting in and hitting the screen, "no. He promised, it's only going to be dinner."

Stepping out of the transporter, "well that's good." and slowing his pace even more as he really is tired, "so after dinner do we get to celebrate, just you and me?"

Smiling as they reach the doors to the infirmary, "like you said last night, we'll celebrate properly." and looking around the infirmary as they enter it, she sees Beckett standing next to a microscope, deep in thought, "all right Carson, he's here. Where do you want him?"

Scowling at her, "I'm not an inanimate object."

"No lad you're not. But, sometimes I wish you were, because then you'd actually stay in one place for more than a few minutes at a time." Beckett says, as he walks over to the gurney under the ancient scanner and patting it, "up you go."

Rolling his eyes at being treated like he's five, but hopping up onto the gurney, and lying down, "I'm fine."

Watching him lie down and hitting the start button on his tablet, "I'm sure you are Colonel, but you know the protocol." and walking over to stand next to Lexi at the screen that is connected to the scanner, "now keep still for just a sec."

Suppressing a yawn, feeling his eyes starting to close, and trying to keep them open, "got...it..doc."

Lexi had taken a seat next to the scanner screen as soon as they had entered the infirmary. Sitting there now, watching the back and forth between Beckett and John, she smiles as she sees John trying to stay awake.

As Beckett reaches her side, focusing on the scanner screen, "now John..."

"Carson."

Looking over at Lexi from reading the data coming up on the screen, "what is it, love?"

Pointing at John, "he's asleep."

Following her finger he sees that John is indeed asleep, "aye, that he is. I'm not surprised by that either." and refocusing on the images on the screen, "well, he's right. He is fine, excluding the obvious of course."

Turning off the screen, "I'll be right back. I want to draw some blood and then you can take him back to your quarters."

Looking at him, "are you sure you don't want to keep him here till his blood work comes back?"

Shaking his head as he heads off to get the supplies he needs, "no. I don't think anything's gonna show up that the scan didn't catch and he'll be more comfortable in your quarters."

Nodding, she smiles as she refocuses on John and sits down on the edge of his bed, next to him. She scans her eyes over him, and not able to help herself, she reaches out and runs her fingers through his hair, surprised when he doesn't stir. A couple of minutes later, Beckett walks back over, nodding at her, as he goes about drawing John's blood.

Finished filling the vials, "I have to say it's definitely easier to draw blood from him when he's out cold." he says with a smile.

Shaking her head, "so, should I wake him?"

Collecting the vials and discarding the used needles, "aye. If anything does show up, I'll radio you." and heading off for the lab part of the infirmary, "I'll see you later love."

"Yeah. See you." and bringing her attention back to John, who is still dead to the world, she places a hand on each shoulder, and gently shaking him, "John, wake up."

A minute later, swatting at her arms, "come on mom, five more minutes."

Catching his hand, "John, it's Lexi. You're in the infirmary."

Eyes snapping open, it takes him a couple of seconds to focus, "huh? What happened?"

Letting go of his hands and standing up, "you fell asleep. But, you're good to go."

Sitting up and scrubbing his face to wake himself up more, "see I told you I was fine." and swinging his legs over the side of the gurney, "let's go."

She waits for him to stand and falling into step next to him, she takes his hand and they head for the transporter.

As they step out of it in the crew quarters section, she looks over at him through the corner of her eye and smiles. He is shuffling along, clearly exhausted, but he is slowly but surely keeping pace with her.

Taking pity on him, she moves closer to him, and wraps her right arm around his waist.

Startled a little at first, but thankful that she knew he was close to face planting on the floor, "thanks."

Looking up at him, "no problem. You gonna make it?"

Smiling down at her as he rests his arm around her shoulders, "yeah. I'm good now."

Swiping them into her quarters and leading him over to the bed, "track pants and t-shirt okay or do you want to just sleep in your boxers?"

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, watching her head for the dresser, "boxers will be good for now."

She makes a u-turn and coming to a stop in front of him she helps him out of his over shirt, boots, socks and pants. As she is stowing his boots under her bed, she hears his breathing even out and looking at him, she smiles to herself as she can tell he is fast asleep. Still smiling she heads into the bathroom to get ready for her day.

Before leaving her quarters, she sits down on the side of the bed and leaning down she kisses him on the forehead, "thanks for being mine, John." she whispers and she sits there watching him sleep for a couple of seconds. Smiling to herself and getting up she heads out for her office.

xxxx

Seven hours later Lexi swipes her way into her quarters, focused entirely on her tablet. Looking up from it, she realizes that it's dark and the only light in the room is from her tablet and the daylight that is filtering in through the edges of the curtains on the windows.

She blinks her eyes a couple of times and as they adjust to the darkness, they are drawn to the bed, where John is still asleep. Frowning she places her tablet down on the desk and climbing onto the bed, she sits down on his right side, crossing her legs in front of her.

"John?" she says, concern inching into her voice.

She waits a couple of seconds and when he doesn't wake up, she uncrosses her legs and shifting onto her knees, she places one hand on each of his shoulders, effectively pinning him. Leaning down, she kisses him on the lips, smiling when this has the desired effect and she feels him wrapping his arms around her, pulling her down onto him.

Pulling away from him, so she can see his face, she catches the smile, "hiya sleepy head. Did you really sleep all day?"

Scrubbing his face, and looking at his watch, "yeah, I guess I did." and lifting his head up off the pillow, kissing her again, talking through the kiss, "you...didn't...ground me...did you?"

Running her fingers through his hair, "no I didn't."

Frowning at her, "that's weird."

"What's weird?"

"Well. I usually can't go a couple of hours without someone needing me for something, unless I'm grounded."

Raising an eyebrow, "maybe there wasn't anything that needed your immediate attention."

Pushing her gently away from him and sitting up against the pillow, "Lexi, there's always something going on."

Climbing out of the bed and heading for the bathroom, "I don't know what to tell you John. I know I didn't ground you and there were no new medical groundings today."

Getting out of the bed and following her into the bathroom, entering it just as she is taking off her pants, "I'm just saying, it's weird."

Pulling off her shirt and catching him staring at her, "okay, it's weird." and smiling, "well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to join me?"

Thinking the shower on as he pulls off his t-shirt and boxers, "I'm right behind you." he says with a smile.

xxxx

Lorne was running a little late. He had been caught up in the ready room, trying to put a stop to a disagreement between SGA-3 and 5. Each team had requested the same planet assignment for the following day, and he knew that the only way to settle the dispute would be to allow both teams to go.

Shaking his head at the memory of the situation, he comes to a stop in front of the doors leading to Lexi's quarters. Taking a look at his watch, he smiles to himself as somehow he has managed to make it there on time.

A couple of seconds later, the doors swish open to reveal Lexi standing there, a smile on her face, "you made it on time."

Looking her up and down, "yeah, I did. You look beautiful, as usual."

Blushing, "thanks. You don't look too shabby, either."

Smiling, "thanks. So, is the Colonel ready?"

"Yeah, Major. I'm all set." John says, as he steps up beside Lexi, "lead the way."

They head for the transporter and as he hits the screen for the north pier, "sir, just so you know, teams three and five will be sharing exploration of M8S-928 tomorrow."

Stepping out of the transporter, John looks over at him with a scowl, "let me guess. They all wanted to go?"

Nodding his head, "yep. I lasted about ten minutes with them yelling at each other about it. I hope it's okay."

"It's fine. But why didn't you radio me to deal with it?"

Shrugging, "it wasn't anything I couldn't handle."

Swiping the door control to let them out onto the north pier, "oh. Okay." he says, as he steps outside first.

Looking over at Lexi, he catches her mouthing "good one." and smiling in response they follow John out onto the pier.

About half way down the pier, Lexi stops short at the sight that meets her eyes. There are lights strung up everywhere and one long table set with food.

Feeling hands pulling her forward, she looks on either side of her to see Lorne and John smiling at her.

Smiling back, "Evan it's perfect. John did you know about this?"

Shaking his head, "nope. This was all Lorne's doing. Good job, by the way."

Pulling her along the pier, "thanks sir." and looking at her, "I figured if we had the dinner out here, less feathers would be ruffled."

Seeing the group of people assembled, she understands what he means. Even though Atlantis is one big family, there is no question that there are certain cliques that have developed over the five years that the expedition has been living in Pegasus.

They reach the group of people, and Lexi smiles as everyone comes up to her in turn and wishes her a "Happy Birthday."

As she hands Torren off to Teyla, "shall we eat?"

"Most definitely." McKay and Ronon say at the same time. As everyone laughs at the eagerness shown by the two of them, they all take seats at the table and the eating commences, accompanied by lots of animated conversation and laughter.

xxxx

Two hours later, Lexi is sitting in between John and Lorne, quietly watching them debate the proper way to deploy an attack on an enemy who holds the upper hand. She smiles as Ronon, weighs in on the conversation and letting her eyes wander over the rest of the group, her smile widens at the sight of her favorite people enjoying each others company. A couple of seats down, on her right, McKay and Zelenka are chatting about the recent movie that was played at the base movie night, with Keller and Jamie. On her left, Beckett is talking with Teyla, Kanaan, Maddy and Amelia, their conversation having something to do with the latest adventures Torren seems to have gotten into.

"Lexi?"

Startling a little, "yeah."

"Where were you?" John asks, looking from her to Lorne and back.

Smiling at them, "I was enjoying the company." she says, gesturing to everyone sitting at the table.

Following the sweep of her hand and smiling, "everyone certainly seems to be having a great time."

Also looking at everyone talking and laughing, "they sure do. I'll say it again Major, good job."

"Thanks sir. It was my pleasure." and standing up, clearing his throat to get everyone's attention, "so, is everyone ready for some cake?"

"There's cake?" McKay asks, instantly perking up at the mention of it.

Reaching for his radio, "Kane, bring the cake out now." Lorne says.

Everyone's attention is drawn to the doors leading into the city as they open to reveal Sergeant Kane of the kitchen staff, wheeling a cake with lit birthday candles out to the group.

As the cake is placed in front of her on the table, Lexi looks up at Lorne, "is it?"

"Your favorite flavor. Of course." he says with a smile, and looking around at everyone, "I think Happy Birthday is in order."

As the chorus of Happy Birthday fades away, Lexi blows out all the candles in one breath. Cutting the first slice, she hands out a slice to everyone, smiling at the praise she receives from McKay and Ronon, for her choice in flavors.

An hour later, she wishes everyone a good night, as they all head back into the city. She and John walk back with Jamie and Lorne. On the way back, John ends up walking next to Jamie, who is still lauding him for his choice in jewelry, and from what Lexi can see, making him extremely uncomfortable.

"I think he just set the bar exceedingly high for the rest of us." Lorne says quietly so only Lexi will hear it.

Looking over at him and then at John's back, "I told him it was too much. But he said he wanted to get it for me."

"You deserve it."

Blushing and looking at him, "thanks Evan." and slipping her arm through his, "tonight was wonderful. I'm so glad that you did this for me."

Smiling, "I'm happy you had a good time. I sure did."

Seeing that they are about the reach the intersection leading to her quarters and that John and Jamie are slowing down, she lets go of his arm and kissing him on the cheek, "sleep tight and thanks again."

Giving her hand a quick squeeze, "you're welcome." and taking Jamie by the hand and leading her in the other direction towards his quarters, talking over his shoulder, "good night, sir. See you at the briefing. Lexi, Happy Birthday."

Smiling at him, "thanks. Night Jamie."

Looking over her shoulder, "good night and Happy Birthday."

Watching them disappear from sight and feeling John's eyes on her, she turns her head to look at him, "you ready to celebrate properly?"

Looking around the corridor, making sure that no one is around and that they aren't in sight of any CCTV cameras, he sweeps her off her feet, "yes." and carrying her the rest of the short distance to her quarters, he thinks the doors open.

The minute the doors are closed, he mentally locks them and carrying her over to the bed, he lays her down on it, and as she pulls him down on top of her, they undress each other, clothes flying everywhere. An hour later she is lying there watching him, a smile on her lips, chin resting on his chest, "thanks."

Opening his eyes, "for what?"

Leaning in she kisses him, and pulling away, "for the bracelet, and for being mine."

Smiling, "you said that already."

Returning the smile, "you heard me this morning before I left?"

Lifting his head off the pillow and kissing her again, "yeah and I have to say, I've never been so happy to belong to someone before."

Resting her head on his chest, she smiles, and closes her eyes, a sense of contentment and safety washing over her. A few minutes later, just when she thinks that he is asleep, she jumps a little as his voice cuts through the silence of the room, "Lexi, do you want to marry me?"

Shocked by the question, she doesn't know what to say. Instead, she sits up, playing with the ring on her finger.

Uncertainty and fear have him cursing himself for asking her. Sitting up and reaching for her chin, to turn her head to face him, he catches the tears streaking down her cheeks, "Lexi, what's wrong?"

Wiping the tears from her face, she leans in to kiss him, and as she pulls away, "nothing's wrong."

Wiping a stray tear away from her cheek, "usually you don't cry when nothing's wrong."

Smiling, "I know that. It's just that the question is not something I thought I'd ever hear from you."

Confusion inching into his voice, "why?"

"Because of your previous one."

Pulling her down into his arms, "oh, right. Well, I didn't say that I wanted to get married. I asked if you wanted to."

Smiling to herself, resting her arm over his stomach, "well then, the answer is of course I want to get married. Every girl dreams of the big white wedding." and feeling him tense under her arm, "but not right now."

Relaxing again, "to me?"

Sliding on top of him, and locking eyes with him, "answer me a question first."

Reaching up to push a piece of hair behind her ear, "sure, what?"

"If you had had your mom's ring when you were dating Nancy, would you have given it to her?"

Considering the question, he comes to a decision, "no. I don't think I would have."

Leaning down she traces her lips up his chest to his, and after kissing him for a couple of minutes she pulls away. Smiling as she sees that his eyes are closed and a smile is playing across his face, "why not?"

Opening his eyes, "because Nancy couldn't understand why I do the things I do. You do."

"Then the answer to your last question, is yes. I want to marry you John. But like I said before, not right now. There's too much going on, and I like what we have."

Pulling her down into his arms again, "me too." he says and closing his eyes, "Happy...Birthday." he gets out before sleep takes him.

Lifting her head up, she sees that he's fallen asleep, and resting her head on his chest again, she too falls asleep.

xxxx

A couple of days later, Lexi is jogging her way through the city, just before dawn. For the first time in a long time, she had woken up in the throws of a nightmare. It had taken her a couple of minutes to remember where she was and after realizing that she had not woken John up, she had quietly gotten changed and headed out.

Shivering, from the lingering fear, she focuses on her breathing and the feeling of the ground under her feet, losing herself in the motion. She jogs out to the south pier and doubles back the way she came, winding her way to the central tower. From there she jogs to the west pier and finally, feeling her body screaming at her that she just might be tired enough to fall back to sleep, she heads back to her quarters.

Reaching them, she takes a look at her watch, sighing as the numbers tell her that she has jogged for an hour and a half and it is 0640. Swiping her way into them, she startles when John steps out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, tooth brush and tooth paste in hand.

Taking out the headphones, "morning." she says, as she walks up to him and gives him a kiss.

Squirting toothpaste onto the toothbrush, scanning his eyes over her as she unstraps the iPod from her arm, "you okay?"

Meeting his eyes, "yeah, just couldn't sleep."

Turning and walking back into the bathroom, "that's usually my line." he says around the toothbrush.

Placing the iPod down on the dresser next to the bathroom door, and following him into it, "I had a bad dream and needed to clear my head."

Spitting and washing out his mouth, he places the toothbrush in its holder and turning around to face her, "what was it about?"

Thinking on the shower, she starts to get undressed, "John, I'm fine."

Raising an eyebrow, "Lexi."

Stepping up to him, she kisses him again, and as she pulls away, "I really don't remember it. But thanks for asking."

Leaning down, he kisses her forehead and smiling at her, "you sure?"

Returning the smile and stepping into the shower, shouting over the water, "yeah. Now go get dressed or you're gonna be late for the briefing. And you know how Woolsey gets when you're late."

Also shouting over the water, "yes ma'am. I'll see you tonight. Love you."

Her "love you too," follows him out of the bathroom. He gets dressed and after grabbing a quick breakfast in the mess, he heads for the briefing.

Stepping out of the shower, Lexi feels a whole lot better. She gets dressed and heads for the mess for her breakfast date with Keller.

xxxx

Six hours later, she is sitting in her office in between sessions, reading through her e-mails. Half way through them, her radio goes off. Reaching up to turn it on, "go ahead Evan."

"Lexi."

Tensing at the hesitation she hears in his voice, "what's wrong?"

She hears him sigh, "this is why I can never keep anything from you."

Smiling to herself, "why, because I can sense when something is bothering you?"

"Yeah. How do you do that?"

Shaking her head in amusement, "I was trained to do it and I've also known you long enough to be able to tell. But that's besides the point. What's wrong?"

"Sheppard and his team are..."

She feels the icy tendrils of fear creeping over her, and it steals her breath away for a second. Absentmindedly her thumb starts twirling the ring on her ring finger, "let me guess. They got into trouble."

"Yeah. I'll let you know when we've got any news."

"Thanks Evan."

"No problem. Lorne out."

The radio link closed, she is glad that her next appointment is early. She loses herself in work and three hours later, "Major Lorne to Dr. Carter."

Tapping her radio, offering an apologetic smile to her patient, "go ahead Evan."

"Lexi, Woolsey is heading off world. We've found the team. They should hopefully be home soon."

The knot of worry in her stomach loosens a little, "thanks Evan. That's great news. Carter out." and with the link closed she resumes her session.

At 2310, that night, just as she is about to get into bed, she startles when the doors to her quarters swish open.

Turning around, a huge smile of relief crosses her lips as John comes striding over to her, wrapping her in his arms.

She quickly pushes him away, pinching her nose, "you stink!"

Sniffing his clothes, he laughs, "oh right. Sorry. Woolsey and I just smoked a couple of cigars. I guess the wind didn't carry the smoke away from us."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking up at him, letting go of her nose and pointing to the bathroom, "clothes in the hamper, right now please. Laundry is a necessity tomorrow and while you're in there take a shower."

Mock saluting her, "yes ma'am," he says, as he strides into the bathroom.

Climbing into bed, the knot in her stomach finally dissolves, and picking up her book from the bedside table, she starts reading, smiling to herself when she hears the shower turn on.

Thirty minutes later, she looks up from her book to see him climbing into bed. Placing the book down on the bedside table, she turns over onto her left side, propping her head up with her hand, "so what happened?"

Relaxing into the pillows, closing his eyes and letting out a tired sigh, "well, it turns out that the natives were getting restless."

"Huh?" she asks.

Opening his eyes and smiling at the look of confusion on her face, "the natives of Pegasus decided to form a coalition. They blame us for a lot of the crap that has happened and they decided to put us on trial for it all."

Realization dawning, "so that's why Woolsey left the base."

"Yeah, he really saved our butts. Although, we didn't get off scott free."

"What do you mean?" she asks, as she rests her head on the pillow.

Holding out his arm, he waits for her to snuggle up to him, "well, let's just say, we're gonna be defending more than just Atlantis from now on."

Resting her chin on his chest, "well if that's the case, let's get some sleep."

Lifting his head up off the pillow, he kisses her, and letting it fall against the pillow again, "why?"

Frowning, "cause you barely get enough of it now, and you only have to worry about Atlantis. How much do you think you're gonna get once this base isn't the only thing you have to protect?"

Matching her frown, "good point." and as a huge yawn escapes him, he sees the look she's giving him, "okay, okay. Sleep it is." he says, closing his eyes.

Smiling, she watches him for a couple of minutes and when she is sure that he is asleep, she rests her head on his chest and closing her eyes, listening to his breathing, she also falls asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chap. 4:

* * *

**

A week later John and McKay are heading out of the mess, carrying the racecars that Lexi had bought them. Just as they reach the transporter, John's radio goes off and reaching up to activate it, "Sheppard here, go ahead Lexi."

"John, I won't be able to come watch. Jen asked if I could have a talk with one of the teams."

Swiping the control for the transporter, "Mason's team?"

"Yeah. They're having some problems with what happened yesterday on M7L-886."

Stepping out of the transporter, "yeah, I bet they are. From what they told me in the debrief, I'm surprised they've held it together this long."

"We'll get them through it. Don't worry about it. I'll see you later."

Smiling, "I've no doubt that you will. But, you're gonna miss a blood bath." he says, as he and McKay reach the corridor they previously set up for the race.

"You guys are worse than kids sometimes, you know that?"

Looking over at McKay and seeing the scowl on his face, "Lexi I've gotta go. Sheppard out." he says, and as the radio link closes, "you ready to be crushed?"

Rolling his eyes "watch and learn." McKay says, as he pushes the start button on his control unit.

Scowling at McKay and starting his car as well, "hey! A little warning would be nice."

"Where's the fun in that?" McKay asks and after a couple of minutes, where they take turns winning, "oh, I'm sorry! Too fast for you, buddy boy?"

"The nursing home just called, Rodney. They want their scooter back."

"Scooter? That is a ticell lipo pack under my hood, son!" and as he realizes that John's car has just knocked his into the wall, "hey!"

"Ooh, sorry! My bad!"

McKay maneuvers his car out of the wall and sends it after John's. The cars reach the end of the corridor and they both twist their control units to send their cars around the cylinder that is stationed there.

"Oh yeah. I will trample you!" McKay shouts.

"Don't trip on your skirt." John retorts back as the cars careen their way down the hall.

Then out of nowhere, Teyla appears out of a side corridor, cradling Torren in her arms. The cars nearly trip her, causing her to scream as she hops out of their way and flattens herself against the wall, hugging Torren tight to her chest.

Seeing this the guys stop their cars and as they run towards her, "you okay?" John asks.

Looking at them running towards her, "I could have dropped him!"

Coming to a stop in front of her, "sorry. We didn't know anyone was around. You sure you're all right?"

Gesturing in the direction that she just came from, "come to think about it, what are you doing down here anyway?" McKay asks.

"Trying to get Torren to sleep. I find that walking him is the best way to calm him."

"Ooh, he's colicky, huh?"

Looking at McKay, "Dr. Keller says it's a phase. It will pass."

"Don't worry about it. I was a colicky baby too. Just do what my mom did, which is let me cry myself to sleep. I'm no worse for it."

John frowns at him and looks at Teyla. They stand there in silence for a couple of minutes, until she speaks up, shaking her head, "anyway. We usually take turns walking him, but Kanaan is away visiting our people for a few days."

"Ah." John says and looking at Torren, "I'd...I'd help you out, but looks like you've got everything taken care of."

"Yes. Now all I have to do is get him back to my quarters without waking him." and glaring at them, "or being run over."

"Yeah, well, we're...I mean, we're done here." McKay says, unsure of what else to say and seeing her sigh, as she turns to head back down the side corridor, "we're just you know finishing up, really, so..."

Waving at Teyla's back, "night." John says.

McKay does the same thing, "night! Have a good one."

They watch her disappear from sight and when they're sure that she is out of range, they spin their cars around and send them screaming off down the corridor again, McKay screaming after them, "go-go-go-go-go-go-gooo!"

Twenty minutes later a loud pop echoes through the hall and McKay's car comes to a screeching stop.

Stopping his car and grinning wide, "ha! I win." John teases.

Scowling at him as he goes over to pick up his car, "no you don't. My car died. This doesn't count. I want a rematch."

Picking up his car as well and heading for the transporter, "don't be a sore loser McKay."

Falling into step with him and looking his car over, "I am anything but a sore loser."

Shaking his head as they come up to the corner they have to turn left at to reach the hallway leading to the transporter, "whatever you say."

Ignoring him and continuing to look at his car, "I must have put too much strain on the motor. The shaft needs a bushing in the lube."

John looks at him from swinging his car in the air, exasperation written across his face.

Catching the exasperation, out of the corner of his eye, "what?" McKay asks.

John shrugs and shakes his head and then the lights go out. They come to a stop and looking up at the ceiling, "what's that about?"

"Beats me." McKay says, as he reaches up for his radio and activating it, "Radek, come in." He waits a second and when no one answers, "Control room, it's Dr. McKay. We just lost power on the East pier. What's going on?"

While he is trying to reach the Control room, John walks around the corridor checking things out. As he comes to a stop next to McKay again, they look at each other, concern written across their faces. They head for an open doorway, which leads out onto an open balcony.

Coming to a stop on it, "that's strange. Lights are out all over the city except the Control room."

"Why's that?" John asks.

Activating his radio, "this is Doctor McKay calling anyone in the Control room. Please respond."

When no one answers again, John looks at him, "something's definitely not right."

Turning to head back inside, "way to state the obvious."

Shrugging and taking the lead, "all right, let's head for a store room. There's one a couple of levels up, three sections over. We'll grab walkies and flash lights and then try to figure this out."

Nodding his head in agreement, McKay follows him and they head for the storeroom.

xxxx

Lexi had been in the infirmary talking with Mason's team, when the lights went out plunging the treatment room into darkness.

As the lights go out, she hears the sharp intake of breath from the four men she is sitting with, "guys, listen to me. I'm sure it's just a power outage, no need to worry."

"Are you sure?" Mason asks, fear in his voice.

Frowning to herself as she really isn't sure, but knowing that they need the reassurance, "yeah." and getting up, heading out slowly into the main part of the infirmary, "but hang tight and I'll go see if I can find out what's going on." and just as she steps out of the treatment room, she catches sight of Keller coming towards her, flashlights in hand, "Jen, are the radios working?"

Coming to a stop in front of her, handing her a flashlight, "no. We can't raise anyone."

Turning on the flashlight, aiming it away from Keller's face and taking a couple more flashlights from her, "okay. I'm gonna bring these into Mason and his team and then where do you want me?"

Heading for a supply cabinet, "just stay with them and keep an eye on them for me."

Heading back into the treatment room, but stopping short, "Jen, do we have hand held radios?"

Turning around to face her, "yeah. Now why didn't I think of that?" and shrugging, "anyway, they're in my office."

Turning and heading for the office, "great. I'm gonna grab one."

Reaching the office, she quickly finds one of the radios and turning it on, she toggles it until she finds the right channel, "Dr. Carter to Colonel Sheppard, come in please."

"Go ahead...Lexi."

"John, where are you right now? You sound a little out of breath."

"McKay...and I...are making...our way to...the Gate room."

"Oh. Okay. Do you guys have any idea what's going on? The infirmary is pitch black."

"Not yet. But power's...out over...the whole city, except...for the Control room. Stay...there and don't...worry."

Smiling to herself and rolling her eyes, "you know John whenever you say that, you usually end up here."

"I'll be careful...Sheppard out."

Shaking her head and walking back into the infirmary, seeing Keller walking up to her, "Jen, are you ready in case a med team is needed?"

Coming to a stop in front of her, "always. Why?"

Heading over to the treatment room to stay with Mason and his team, "let's just say I have a feeling certain people will be ending up here at some point tonight."

xxxx

Six hours later, Lexi is sitting in the treatment room, having spent a good part of that time talking through everything with Mason and his team. She had suggested that they try and get some sleep, but being marines they did not want to sleep until they knew what the status of the base was.

Looking around at the four men, who are all asleep on their gurneys, she shakes her head, chuckling softly to herself. Just as she stands up to stretch her back, she hears a commotion coming from the main part of the infirmary and the lights come on, blinding her.

Blinking her eyes a couple of times to adjust them to the brightness, she looks around quickly to make sure that the men are still asleep and happy that they are, she heads out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Just as she turns around to head further into the infirmary, she sees two separate med teams wheeling in gurneys. Her breath catches as she sees who is lying on them. On the first one, is Ronon, unconscious from what she can tell and on the second is Lorne, who as soon as he sees her, blushes bright red.

Reaching his side as the medics lock the wheels on his gurney in place, "what happened to you?"

Grimacing, "I was stupid and walked into a force shield."

Matching the grimace, "are you okay?"

Taking her hand in his and smiling, "a little tingly, but other than that, I'm good. Keller just wants to keep an eye on me for a couple hours."

Raising an eyebrow, "well, okay then. What happened out there?"

Frowning, "Michael happened out there. Sheppard went after him from what I've heard."

"Med team to Control room corridor five."

They look over at Keller to see her nod at Dr. Newman, who takes over the treatment of Ronon, who seems to be coming around, slowly and as she heads out the door, she nods at them.

"I wonder who it is." Lexi says, looking back at Lorne.

Shrugging, "I don't know. But I'm sure it'll be okay."

Smiling, "ever the optimist, aren't you?"

Returning the smile and resting his head against the pillow, "hey."

"Get some sleep." she says, squeezing his hand one more time and letting go of it, she sits down on a stool that is near his gurney.

Closing his eyes, "Lexi, don't worry. I'm sure he's fine."

She watches him as he falls asleep and a few minutes later, she catches sight of Keller and her team wheeling Woolsey into the infirmary. Catching Keller's eye, she smiles as she sees the doctor shaking her head in amusement at her.

She watches from her seat as Keller goes about treating Woolsey and just as she is about to get up to go check on Ronon, who has been moved to a more secluded area, where the lights can be dimmed, Teyla walks in with John.

Seeing the look of concern on Teyla's face, she hurries over to John's side, draping his arm over her shoulders, before he can even protest.

"Lexi, where is Ronon?" Teyla asks, smiling at the look of annoyance on John's face.

Pointing her in the right direction, "he's over there."

"How is he?" John asks, looking down at her.

Watching Teyla head for Ronon's location, she looks up at him and seeing the dried blood caked on his face, "John, you're cut."

Trying to walk after Teyla, but having no luck as Lexi is guiding him over to the gurney with the ancient scanner attached to it, "I'm fine."

"I'll be the judge of that Colonel."

They look over at Keller as she comes up to them.

"Doc how is everyone?"

"Lie down for me first." she says, picking up the control tablet for the scanner and watching him critically as Lexi helps him.

"Okay, I'm lying down. Now will you answer my question?"

Rolling her eyes at Lexi as she joins her at the screen attached to the scanner, "everyone is fine. Well, they will be. Ronon has a severe concussion and won't be going anywhere for at least a week. Mr. Woolsey sprained his shoulder when he fell down the stairs, after being stunned by the field. Major Lorne is still suffering a few side effects from the force field and I'll be..."

"Jen."

Looking at Lexi from the screen and seeing her pointing at John, "oh." and smiling, "he certainly likes to fall asleep on me, doesn't he?"

Returning the smile and focusing on the scan that is coming up, "yeah, but you're not the only one."

Also focusing on the readout on the screen, "well, that's good to know. Anyway, let's get that cut taken care of." and heading over to a supply cabinet to grab the items she needs, "cover him with a blanket."

Walking over to a storage shelf, Lexi grabs a blanket and walking back over to John's side she covers him with it, smiling as he shifts a little on the bed. Sitting down on the edge of it, she watches him sleep, completely unaware of anything going on around her.

"Lexi?"

Startling, "oh, Teyla. You scared me."

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to."

Watching Keller cleaning the cut on his face, "it's okay. What happened?"

Frowning, "well, I only caught the tail end of their fight, but Michael got in some punches, before I killed him." and looking at Keller, "he seemed a little unsteady on the way here."

Discarding the supplies she was using to clean his cut, "I'm not surprised. The scan confirmed that he's got at least a minor concussion."

"Are you going to keep him over night?"

Coming back over to John's side, reaching for his wrist, looking down at her watch, "yeah, Teyla." and looking up at Lexi, finished taking his pulse, "do you want to stay?"

Tearing her eyes away from John, but not moving from her spot of sitting on the edge of the gurney, "you think it's that serious?"

"Like I said the scan said he has one, but if I keep him over night I can keep a closer eye on him. So are you staying?"

Refocusing on John, frowning, "yeah."

Turning and heading in the direction of her office, "okay then. I'll be back in an hour."

Heading for the exit, "see you tomorrow, Jennifer." and smiling at Lexi, "get some rest Lexi."

Returning her smile and watching her walk out of the infirmary, "night Teyla." and sliding off John's gurney, she takes a seat on the gurney that is next to his. Taking a look at her watch, she sighs and scrubs her face tiredly, as she has been up for twenty-four hours. As she leans back against the gurney, she sighs again as a weight seems to have lifted from her chest.

Realizing that it is because Michael is dead and it is one less thing that will keep John up at night, she dozes until, "Lexi, why don't you head back to your quarters?" wakes her up.

Rubbing her eyes, she sees Keller checking over John, who is still fast asleep, "I'm good. How is he?" she asks, as she swings her legs over the side of the gurney.

Placing the LSD down on the tray, "he's doing better."

Looking at her watch, "Jen, it's already noon. Why didn't you wake me up and why does he have an IV?"

Smiling, "I guess I lost track of time." and checking the flow on the IV in question, "and the IV is in because the last time I woke him, he was nauseous and really sore." and heading for her office, "look, I'm gonna go grab some sleep myself. Go get something to eat and go sleep in your own bed, it's more comfortable than the beds here. I'll radio when he's up."

Watching her go, "sleep tight Jen." and resting her eyes on John, she gets off the gurney and walking over to his side, she sits down on the edge of it and leaning forward, she kisses him on the lips.

Pulling away, she smiles to herself as he actually is sleeping peacefully, "well there's nothing like exhaustion and pain to knock him out." she says under her breath and watching him sleep for a couple more minutes, she sighs, as she realizes that Keller is right and standing up, she heads out for the mess.

xxxx

Three hours later, as she is stepping out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself, she hears the doors to her quarters swoosh open. Dropping the towel on the floor and grabbing her robe, she hurries out into the room, frowning as she sees John sitting down on the edge of the bed, trying to unsuccessfully untie his boots.

Coming to stand in front of him and kneeling down, "John, let me." she says, as she bats his hands away and starts to make quick work of the laces.

Sitting up, he can't help it as a soft grunt escapes his lips, "I'm getting too old for this."

Looking up at him, as she places the boots under the bed, she catches his tired eyes staring down at her, "I wouldn't say that." and reaching up, she starts to unbutton his shirt, "you've just had a rough go of it of late."

Not able to hold in the wince as she pulls off his shirts, talking from inside his t-shirt, "you can say that again."

Throwing the shirts on the ground, she reaches up and takes out his radio, laying it on the bedside table. Pushing him gently to lie down, helping him bring his legs up onto it, "did Jen give you anything else?" she asks, not having missed the wince.

Letting out a sigh, as he sinks into the mattress and she starts undoing his belt, "um..."

Hearing the hesitation, she freezes in the middle of pulling off his pants and glaring at him, "John, please tell me that she gave you something to take when the pain meds you're already on wear off."

Not meeting her eyes, "Lexi, I..."

Pulling his pants off completely and tossing them on the floor as well, she covers him with the blankets and raising her voice, "so let me get this straight. You snuck out?"

"Dr. Carter, please come in, this is Dr. Keller."

She looks from him to her radio on the bedside table and back and seeing the guilt plastered on his face, she rolls her eyes. Picking up the radio, inserting it in her ear, "hi Jen. Let me guess. You're looking for John."

"Yeah. Is he with you?"

Watching him, she sees his eyes drifting shut, "yeah. He's here. Do you need him?"

"Well no, not really. But let him know that he'll be hearing from me about leaving without permission again."

Stifling a chuckle, "Jen, what makes you think he'll listen to you this time?" she asks, as she runs her eyes over him, frowning at the pain etched across his forehead.

"Good point."

Watching him shift uncomfortably in the bed, "I think the meds that you gave him earlier are wearing off. What should he take now?"

"Well you can give him Tylenol with Codeine. That should be enough."

"Thanks Jen. Carter out." she says and closing the radio link she leans forward and kisses him on the forehead.

Standing up she heads for the bathroom to finish getting dressed. Ten minutes later, with one more check on John, leaving a bottle of Tylenol with Codeine, a water bottle and a note telling him where she is and to take the Tylenol, on the bedside table, she leaves her quarters for the infirmary, to continue treating Mason and his team.

xxxx

That night John swipes his way into Lexi's quarters and stops short. Lexi is sitting on the couch, tears streaking down her face.

Rushing to her side, placing his toy car on the floor and pulling her into him, "Lexi, what's wrong?"

"I...have...to go...back...to...Earth." she sobs out, burying her head further into his chest.

Pushing her away to arms length, shock written across his face, "why?"

Taking a couple of deep breaths to get her feelings in check and swiping the tears away from her cheeks, "my brother was in a car accident. Sam sent..." she trails off as she starts to cry again, covering her face with her hands.

Taking her hands in his, "is he okay?"

Shaking her head, "they don't know. He's in a coma."

Looking at her, seeing the fear, he doesn't know what else to say, so he pulls her into him again and holds her.

Wrapped in his arms, she cries some more and a few minutes later, she pulls away from him, "will you walk me to the Gate?"

Standing up and holding out a hand, "yeah. When will you be back?"

Taking his hand and picking up her duffel from the bed, "I don't know. I guess I won't know until..."

Squeezing her hand, "Lexi look at me." and he waits until she does, "he's gonna be fine. You have to stay positive. You don't do negative. I know you."

"Right. Okay staying positive." she says, as they head out of her quarters and as they reach the transporter, "I can't believe that I'm going back. I haven't been back since I got here."

Smiling as they step into the transporter, letting go of her hand and hitting the screen for the Control room, "do me a favor?"

Looking at him as they step out of the transporter into the Control room, "what?"

"Can you bring back some stuff?"

Smiling, "the usual supplies?" she asks, as she nods to Chuck to start the dialing sequence.

Walking her down the stairs to the Gate room, "yeah and you."

Coming to a stop as the last Chevron engages, she pulls him into a hug, fully aware of how uncomfortable it makes him, but not caring, "you got it." and whispering in his ear, "love you."

Pulling away from her, he winks at her and smiles in response and as he watches her walk towards the Gate, "say hi to everyone for me and don't worry."

Stopping right before she walks through, she turns to look at him, "will do and be good while I'm gone." she says and without waiting for him to respond, she steps through the Gate.

He watches as the Gate shuts down and rolling his eyes, he heads for his quarters. Reaching them, he gets ready for bed and turns in early, as the morning briefing is scheduled for 0700 and he's still a little sore from the previous night. Fifteen minutes later, he is climbing stiffly into bed and sinking into the mattress, he lets out a sigh, as he is not used to sleeping in this bed anymore. Mentally shutting off the lights, he is out like a light in seconds.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chap. 5:**

**

* * *

**

Four weeks later, Lexi beams down into the Gate room and looking around, smiles wide. Nodding her head at the security detail currently patrolling, she picks up the duffel, that she had left with, along with two more that she had to bring with her, just to carry the supplies John had requested. Duffels in hand, she heads for the transporter, to take her to her office.

Reaching it, she drops the bags on the couch and walking around to her desk chair, she sits down and boots up her tablet. Opening up the email client, she lets out a groan as the inbox is overflowing, _well that's what you get for not checking it for a month_, and with a sigh, she proceeds to read and respond to them.

xxxx

"Hi Lexi. Welcome back."

Looking up from her tablet, smiling, "thanks Teyla."

Smiling and sitting down across from her, "you're welcome. How is your brother?"

Returning the smile, "he's doing great. He woke up two days after I got back and the doctors say that he's gonna make a full recovery."

"That is wonderful. I bet it was good to see your family. Even if it wasn't under the best of circumstances."

Nodding, "it sure was. I think I might go back when we have the mandatory vacation in a couple of weeks."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Why is that so hard to believe?"

Shrugging, "well, because John has said that he won't be going back. I believe he and Ronon are going camping."

Frowning, "they are, are they?"

"Yes." and standing up and heading for the door, "I'm sorry I can not stay longer, but I have a sparring session with Ronon."

Watching her walking towards the door, "oh Teyla?"

Stopping at the door and turning to face her, "yes?"

"Speaking of John, have you seen him? He hasn't been by to see me yet."

Not meeting her eyes, "he ah. He is on the mainland."

Eyebrows shooting up, "really? Why'd he go there?"

Looking at her, grimacing, "he offered to scientist sit. Doctors Kiang and Parrish wanted to study some of the local flora."

Matching the grimace, "Dr. Kiang, huh?"

"Lexi, do not worry. I believe he is just being a guy, as you would say."

Letting a small smile curve her lips, "yeah. I guess. Anyway, thanks. I'll see you later."

Turning and walking out the door, talking over her shoulder, "I am glad that you have returned. We missed you."

Watching her leave, "thanks, Teyla." and staring off into space for a couple of seconds, she runs her hands over her face to wake herself up, and refocusing on her tablet, this time bringing up the schedule for her department, she reorganizes it so that she is now on the duty roster for the following day.

xxxx

Nine hours later, just as Lexi is about to leave her office for a late dinner, her radio goes off.

"Lexi, come in please."

Reaching up to activate it, as she reaches the transporter, taking a look at her watch, which reads 2040, "go ahead Jen, what's up."

"First off, welcome back."

Hearing the worry in her voice, "thanks Jen, but stop stalling. What's going on?"

"Um."

Getting into the transporter, "spit it out." she says, as she feels her stomach twisting into knots of worry.

"You should probably get down here."

Hitting the screen for the infirmary, "I'm on my way."

A couple of minutes later, she is walking into the infirmary, heading for Keller's office. Reaching it, knocking on the door frame, "okay, where is he?"

Looking up at her from some files she is going over, a grimace on her face, "Lexi, take it easy on him."

Feeling the knots of worry tightening, "why? Is he okay?"

Shaking her head and glancing at one monitor in particular, on the side table, as she gets up and walks towards her, "I don't know exactly."

Letting herself be guided out of the office, "why don't you know?"

Walking next to her, a hand on her elbow, guiding her towards John's room, "well. They got back early from the mainland. He came in for his check, and in the middle of it, he went into shock."

Stopping short, "wait, what?"

Pulling on her arm, "Lexi, I'm fairly confident he's gonna be okay. But, he won't tell me what happened."

Stopping just outside of John's room, "what do you want me to do?"

Pulling her into the room, and whispering, "I was hoping you could ask him what happened."

Frowning as her eyes settle on him, "I'll try Jen. But I don't know if he'll give me anything."

Walking over to his left side, scanning the monitors, "I'll take what I can get." and walking out of the room, "I'll leave you with him and wait right outside."

Smiling a little, she sits on the edge of the bed and watches Keller walk out of the room. Positive that they are alone, she refocuses on him, the smile disappearing as she runs her eyes over him. She takes in everything from the nasal cannula giving him oxygen, to the blood pressure cuff that is wrapped around his right arm, to the sweat ringing his collar.

Leaning forward she runs her fingers through his hair, resting her hand on his cheek, "John, open your eyes." and when he doesn't, she leans down and kisses him, smiling through it, as his eyes snap open, and she feels his arm wrapping around her.

Pulling away, "is that the only way I'm ever gonna be able to wake you up?" and seeing the grimace that flits across his face, "what happened?"

Locking eyes with her, "um, I ah. I ah, it's kinda hard to explain."

Taking his left hand, turning it over in her own, she doesn't miss the sharp intake of breath or the increase in the beeping coming from the monitor. Looking up at him from it, she sees the panic and pain, "John, tell me what's going on."

Feeling his heart racing and the walls closing in on him, "Lexi, make...it...stop." he gasps out.

Letting go of his hand and placing her hands on his shoulders, "tell me what I need to make stop."

"Lexi, what's going on?"

Looking at Keller as she rushes over to his side, "I don't know."

Running her eyes over the monitors, she frowns, "okay, try and calm him down. I'll be right back." she says as she hurries out of the room.

Nodding after her, she feels his eyes on her, and turning her head, their eyes lock, "breathe, slow and steady." she tells him, as she takes his right hand in hers, grimacing as he squeezes tight.

Slowly but surely, he gets his breathing under control and as she hears Keller walking back into the room, she keeps her eyes glued to him. A few seconds later, out of the corner of her eye she sees Keller inserting a syringe into his IV, "what did you just give him?"

Disposing of the syringe, "just something to help bring up his bp. It's not coming up on its own and it's still too low."

"Lexi?"

They look at him, and with a nod, Keller walks out of the room. Turning her attention back to him, "yeah John."

Closing his eyes, "what the hell is going on with me?"

Frowning, "I don't know. But if I had to guess I'd say that you're having a psychological reaction to something."

Opening his eyes, and meeting hers, "I don't get it. It wasn't...real." he mumbles.

"What wasn't real?" she asks, rubbing the top of his hand with her thumb.

Looking down at his left hand, he flexes the fingers again, "he cut it off." he says in a whisper.

Reaching for it, and taking it in hers, "who cut it off?"

Taking a deep breath, trying to control his breathing, as the room starts to close in on him again, "Kolya." he spits out and as the images of the day replay in his head, "Kolya cut it off."

Feeling the tremors running through him as he speaks, and glancing at the monitors, she frowns at the readings, and looking back at him, she catches the far away look in his eyes, "John?"

Startling out of his thoughts, "what?"

"Whoa. Take it easy."

Sinking further into the pillows, taking his hands out of hers and scrubbing his face, "sorry. I'm...sorry."

Pulling his hands away from his face, "you don't have to apologize. Just let me help you through this."

Sighing, "but, I thought I had worked through all of this. I mean I haven't had a nightmare in a few months."

"Look, just because you haven't had nightmares in a while, doesn't mean that you've dealt with everything."

Glaring at her, "Lexi, I'm not made of glass. I don't shatter that easily and we've had this discussion so many times, I've lost count. I don't blame myself for everything."

Returning the glare, "oh really? Then why did you go into shock?"

Running his hands through his hair, "I told you, Kolya cut off my hand, and...and..." he trails off as the room starts to spin wildly and he can't seem to get enough air into his lungs. As his eyes close, he distantly hears Lexi calling his name, worry thick in her voice.

xxxx

"John, open your eyes. Come on, I need you to wake up."

Slowly but surely, the voice cuts through the haze that had sucked him under and feeling someone gently squeezing his right hand, he lets out a soft moan. As he comes to a little more, he lets out another soft moan, as the fact that his head is pounding like a jackhammer, becomes abundantly clear.

"John."

Hearing his name again, he finally squints his eyes open, a small smile coming to his lips as Lexi's face swims into view. Focusing on her face, seeing the concern and fear plastered across it, "mm...okay." he slurs out, and as he finishes speaking, it hits him that he is no longer wearing the nasal cannula, but an oxygen mask, and breathing doesn't seem as hard as it had.

"Really?"

Reaching up to pull the mask off, scowling as she bats his hand away, and places it back on his face, "what...happened?"

Frowning, "first off, leave that on, you need it right now. To answer your question, I'm not entirely sure. But, I have a feeling it has to do with what you went through on the mainland. Do you think you can answer a question for me?"

"If I do, can I get something for this headache?"

Raising her eyebrows in surprise, "yeah, as soon as you answer my question."

Smiling under the mask, "fair enough. What is it?"

"You said that Kolya cut off your hand. But he's dead and you know he's dead. Carson confirmed it."

Shifting uncomfortably, "yeah and?"

Frowning at him, "how did you see him?" she asks, not missing the last remaining color draining from his face.

Closing his eyes against the spinning room, "like I said before, it was all in my head. McKay found a device on the bottom of the..."

"John, stop."

Opening his eyes, "why? I can answer the question. Just give me a sec."

"No you can't and it was stupid of me to think that you could. You're still too close to the trauma to talk about it without having a physical reaction."

Sighing, "Lexi, I'm okay. It's just..."

"John, you were just out cold for two and a half hours."

Staring at her, "wait, what? What time is it?"

"Close to midnight."

"Dammit Lexi!" he grits out, trying not to aggravate his pounding head even more.

Pushing him gently back against the pillows, "calm down. I'm gonna go get something for your head, I'll be right back."

He watches as she slides off the bed and walks out of the room. Closing his eyes, he sighs and shifts in the bed, trying to get comfortable. Before he knows it, he drifts off into a restless sleep.

xxxx

Leaving his room, Lexi walks directly over to Keller's office, and knocking on the door, "Jen?"

Looking up from her tablet, "how is he? I almost came in there a couple of times."

Sitting down across from her, "I'm not sure how he is, but he's got a headache."

Looking over at the monitor that is connected to John's, "well, I can give him hydrocodone, but it'll probably knock him out. Which is not such a bad thing right now." and taking a good look at her, "not really how you pictured your first day back, huh?"

Smiling, "no. But it's nice to know that things don't change." and standing up, "would you mind giving it to him. I haven't eaten since this morning.

Returning the smile, standing up and coming to stand next to her, "how bout I have one of the nurses bring something up for you, and you can stay with him?"

Walking out of the office with her, for one of the medicine cabinets, "that would be great." and taking the syringe that Keller fills with the dose of hydrocodone, "I'd love a turkey sandwich."

Laughing as she heads back to her office to order up the food, and to make a note in John's chart, "you got it. Also I know I don't have to tell you, but he's in no condition to leave here tonight."

Frowning, "Jen, don't worry. He's not going anywhere." and walking into his room, she quietly walks over to his IV, smiling as she sees him asleep. Uncapping the syringe, she inserts it, depressing the plunger.

Disposing of the syringe in the hazardous waste bucket, she takes a seat in the chair next to his bed, and running her eyes over him, she startles as she sees that he is staring back at her, fear and exhaustion in his eyes, "John, go back to sleep. I'm here and I won't let anything hurt you."

Reaching for her hand, which is resting on his thigh, "promise?"

Standing up and sitting on the edge of the bed, she runs her fingers through his hair, smiling as his eyes close, "I promise." and leaning forward she kisses him.

Sitting up, she slides off the bed, letting go of his hand, only to have his eyes snap open as she does so, "I'm just going to recline the bed."

Nodding his head as his eyes slide shut again, "will..you...stay...with me?"

Shaking her head, a sad smile on her lips, she sits back down, and taking his right hand in hers again, "you never have to ask John. It's a given." and seeing his breathing even out, she leans back against the back of the chair, closing her eyes to rest them for a couple of minutes.

"Dr. Carter?"

Startling a little and snapping her eyes open, she blinks them a couple of times, trying to focus them. As they do, she realizes that Katya is standing in front of her, a frown on her face, a sandwich in her hand. Scrubbing her face with her right hand and accepting the sandwich, "ah, thanks."

Nodding and moving over to John's side to check him over, "are you okay?"

Smiling as she tears into the sandwich and takes a bite, "yes. I'm just tired."

Returning the smile, "oh. Okay." and leaving the room, "see you later."

Watching her walk out of the room and finishing off the first half of the sandwich, "thanks Katya." and refocusing on John, she starts eating the other half of the sandwich.

Twenty minutes later as she is disposing of the sandwich wrapper, Keller walks in. Smiling at her as she comes up to John's side, and checks him over as well, "are you going to release him in the morning?"

Taking her stethoscope from around her neck and leaning over John, pulling his scrub top down, "maybe. If his bp keeps improving like it is and he sleeps through the night."

A few minutes later, finished making her notes, she looks over at Lexi as she heads for the exit, "you should get some sleep too. I'm sure you're galaxy lagged. But try anyway."

Watching her leave the room, "I will. Night Jen."

"Good night." she says as she exits the room.

Drawing her eyes back to John, she takes his hand in hers again and leaning her head back against the back of the chair, she props her feet up on the edge of the bed. Closing her eyes, listening to the steady beep from the monitor and his slow even breathing, she's asleep before she knows it.

xxxx

_John is back on the mainland, heading for the jumper to set it up for the night. Hearing a sound, he spins around, only to be taken by surprise by a stunner blast which knocks him down to the ground. Everything dissolves around him and as his surroundings solidify again, he finds himself propped up against a tree, starring at what used to be his left hand. Through the pain and the blood rushing in his ears, he can just make out what AI Kolya is saying._

"_You're an interesting man, Sheppard. You travel to another galaxy, risk your life defending a bunch of people you don't even know. You ask me, you're either someone with a death wish or someone running from something. So tell me, what are you running away from?"_

_Before he can answer, the scene dissolves again and he struggles to wake himself up. Not having any luck, he starts to panic, and as his surroundings solidify again, he finds himself hanging off the cliff. Relieved by the fact that his hand is indeed still attached, he doesn't realize that he has now climbed back onto solid ground and that AI Kolya has explained who the Sekkari are._

_He does however hear AI Kolya telling him, "it was your mind driving the diversion. I merely played along."_

_Feeling the world starting to spin around him, "you're saying I tortured myself?"_

"_You torture yourself everyday, John. But in this case, it was your mind manifesting your darkest fears. You were the architect of your..."_

He doesn't hear the last part of the explanation as at that exact moment his eyes snap open, the hammering of his heart in his chest matching the frantic beeping of the monitor. Eyes darting around the room, it takes a few seconds for him to realize that he's in the infirmary, and the lights are on night cycle. Sitting up quickly, the room spins wildly, and he feels himself falling sideways off the bed. The next thing he knows his head hits someone's shoulder and gentle hands are pushing him back against the pillow, the head of the bed having been raised.

As he slumps into the pillow, he realizes that he still has the oxygen mask on, and someone is calling his name.

"John? Come on John, focus on me."

It takes a few seconds, but he finally focuses on the owner of the voice, and smiles as he sees Lexi staring at him, concern written across her face, again.

Reaching up to pull the oxygen mask off, "deja vu all over again, huh?"

Taking it from him and replacing it with a nasal cannula, rolling her eyes at the look he gives her, as she puts it on him, "yeah. You could say that. New nightmare?"

Scrubbing his face, "yeah, sort of. What time is it?"

Looking down at her watch, "0650. Jen should be in soon to clear you. You've met the requirements she set for your release."

Raising an eyebrow, "and they were?"

Stretching out her back and neck, "sleeping through the night and an improvement in your blood pressure." and taking a look at the monitors, "which is back to normal for you." she says with a smile.

Seeing her stretching, he looks around the room, and as his eyes settle on the chair next to his bed and the blanket lying on the floor, "did you sleep here all night?"

Meeting his eyes, she doesn't miss the confusion in them, "yeah. I promised that I wouldn't let anything hurt you." and sitting down on the edge of the bed again, "I guess I didn't do such a good job."

Taking her hand in his and squeezing, "oh I don't know about that. You stayed with me." and looking towards the door, "help me up?"

"John, Jen hasn't cleared you yet."

Sitting up slowly, "Lexi, all this liquid is..."

"Oh yeah. Okay." she says, as she gets up and unhooks him from all the wires, the IV and the oxygen.

Resting his arm around her shoulders, as he stands up, "so how's your brother?"

Wrapping her arm around his waist and walking with him out of the room for the bathroom, looking up at him with a smile, "he's going to be fine. I had thought we would visit him and the rest of my family during the mandatory vacation. But Teyla told me that you're planning on staying here."

Reaching the bathroom, "oh yeah. Well, I'd rather spend it camping and surfing on the mainland. You can go though." and looking down at her, taking his arm off her shoulders, "I can do the rest myself, thanks."

Not letting go of his waist, "when were you planning on telling me?"

Frowning, "Lexi I've really gotta go. Can't we talk about this when I'm done?"

Matching the frown and letting go of his waist, "fine. But call if you need help."

Smiling, "thanks." he says, and he heads into the bathroom.

While she is waiting for him to come back out, she gets lost in her thoughts.

"Lexi?"

Startling a little, "oh Jen. Sorry. What's up?"

Coming to a stop in front of her, "well that answers that question. He's in the bathroom?"

"He's finished in the bathroom."

They look over to see John walking out of the bathroom, drying his hands.

Smiling at him, "how're you feeling Colonel?"

Looking from her to Lexi and back, "like getting outta here." he says with a smile, as Lexi is now draping his arm around her shoulders.

Walking with them back to his room, "well let me check you over one more time and we'll see about clearing you."

Climbing back up onto the bed, legs dangling off the side, "aww come on doc. I feel fine." and looking over at Lexi, seeing the glare, "fine. I don't feel fine, I'm sore. But other than that, I'm good to go."

Wrapping the blood pressure cuff around his arm, "I'll be the judge of that." and looking at the reading from the cuff, "well I'm glad to see it back in your normal range." and unwrapping it from his arm, placing it on the tray that is next to her, "up with your shirt." she says, hooking her stethoscope into her ears.

He does as he is asked, and breathes in and out when she tells him to, watching Lexi the whole time, worry twisting his gut, as she doesn't seem happy.

A couple of minutes later, "all right Colonel, you are as you said, good to go. But I want you to take two Motrin every six hours for the next twenty four hours. And if you're still sore tomorrow, let me know. I'll go grab your first dose." and as she heads out of the room, "Lexi, can I have a word?"

Smiling at John, "yeah Jen." she says, walking out after her and coming to a stop next to her at the closest medicine cabinet, "what's up?"

Taking out the Motrin and handing it to her, "I'm giving him the all clear for light duty today, and full duty tomorrow..."

"I'm sensing a but."

Frowning, "but, I want you to sign off on his clearance. He hasn't worked through this yet and until he can talk about it without having a severe reaction, I don't want him going through the Gate."

Turning and heading for his room, "all right. I'll talk to him when we get back to my quarters."

Smiling after her, "good. I'll see you later." Keller says, as she heads off to go on rounds.

Walking into the room, Lexi smiles as John is still sitting on the edge of the bed, his legs now swinging back and forth, like a kid, "here, take these and we can get outta here."

Accepting the pills and the cup of water, she pours him from the pitcher on the bedside table, "so, light duty today?" he asks, swallowing the pills.

Grabbing his boots from underneath the cabinet and kneeling down to put them on him, "yeah, but, you won't be cleared for Gate travel until we've talked."

Looking down at her with a scowl, "I've got to get my head shrunk?"

Standing up and pulling him to his feet, she grabs him around his waist as he tips forward into her, "sort of."

Getting his legs under him, raising an eyebrow at her and resting his arms on her shoulders, "sort of. What do you mean by that?"

Smiling, she leans in to kiss him and as she pulls away, "I missed being able to do that." and shifting so she is standing next to him, his left arm draped over her shoulders, "and by sort of, I mean that I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything until you're ready."

Looking at her, as they walk out of the infirmary, "but if I don't talk to you about it, she won't clear me for full duty and neither will you." and taking his arm off her shoulders, walking ahead of her, "great. I'm gonna be stuck on light duty forever."

Hurrying to catch up to him, reaching his side as he stops in front of the transporter, she turns him to face her, "not necessarily." and mentally kicking herself for what she is about to do, "look John, I'll compromise with you."

Swiping the control panel, "what are you offering?"

Smiling and getting into the transporter, "I'll clear you for Gate travel tomorrow, but you have to tell me what happened to you by the end of this week."

Stepping out of the transporter, "really?"

Weaving her right arm through his left, "yeah. I have no doubt that you'll be able to talk about it. You just need time to work through it your way and well, you talk when you're ready."

Pulling her into him as the doors to her quarters close behind them, "I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I've got to be the luckiest guy in two galaxies." and he leans down and kisses her.

They kiss their way over to the bed, pulling off their clothing on the way. Reaching it, she pulls him down on top of her, letting out a moan of content as he catches her in just the right spot. Before he knows it, she's flipped him over onto his back and is returning the favor.

Thirty minutes later, as they are lying in each others arms, "so John, do we have a deal?"

Opening his eyes and turning his head on the pillow, kissing her on the forehead, "yeah, we have a deal."

Smiling and propping her chin up on his chest, "good. I'll let Jen know that you're cleared." and throwing the blankets off of herself, getting out of the bed, "I'm starving, let's go get some breakfast."

Tracking her as she heads for the bathroom, "can we shower first?"

Raising an eyebrow at him over her shoulder, "yeah, you coming?"

Scrambling out of the bed, "you don't have to ask twice."

xxxx

Forty minutes later, as John is pulling on his BDUs, Lexi walks over to him, pulling on her own shirt, "John, about the mandatory vacation."

Turning to face her, buttoning his over shirt, "what about it?"

Clasping her hands around his neck, "you're planning on going surfing and camping with Ronon, right?"

Resting his hands on the small of her back, looking her in the eyes, "yeah. Like I said back in the infirmary, you don't have to stay here. You can go back if you want."

Fixing his collar, and fingering the chain of his dog tags, "well, I was thinking maybe I would, um, maybe I could go with you?"

Hooking his finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him, "I don't think Ronon would mind. But are you sure you wouldn't rather go back and spend more time with your family?"

Smiling wide, "and miss a chance to surf a beach that no one has touched? Are you kidding me? It's an easy choice." and pulling out of his arms, she slips into her sneakers and turning to face him, "you ready?"

Shaking his head in disbelief, he slips on his boots, and walking over to her, "so how was it being back home?"

Pulling him through the door, "weird." and seeing the raised eyebrow he gives her, "I mean, I knew going back would be difficult, what with not knowing if Andrew was going to be okay. But once he woke up and everyone got over the shock of the whole thing, they all kind of focused on me."

Swiping them into the transporter, "and let me guess. You had a hard time sticking to the story."

Stepping out of the transporter, looking over at him, "not really. That part they had no problem accepting, especially being that Sam was there to back me up. No what had them most interested was this." she says, showing him the ring on her finger.

Stopping short, looking from it to her, and taking her hand in his, "what did you tell them?"

Squeezing his hand and pulling him towards the mess, "I told them about you."

"How did they react?"

Smiling at him as they enter the mess and letting go of his hand as they reach the buffet table, "well, my mom and Andrew were happy for us. Sam, already knew, and hasn't changed her mind. She's still fine with it. My dad was..."

Grabbing a bottle of water, "he wasn't happy that you're in a relationship with an Air Force guy."

Also grabbing a bottle of water, "he wasn't thrilled with it at first, but by the time I left, he accepted it. He asked if I was happy."

Walking next to her as they make there way out to the balcony, "are you?"

Smiling again, "I couldn't be happier."

Releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, "good I'm glad."

Chuckling a little as she had caught him releasing the breath, "I thought you would be. Anyway, like I said before, I had thought we would go back and visit them, but I like your idea better."

Lowering his voice as they reach the balcony and spot Ronon and Teyla waving them over, "are you sure?"

Rolling her eyes at him, "John, I just said that I like your idea better. Besides, Atlantis is more of a home now, than Earth is. I know that my parents, my brother and Sam are there, but my heart is here." she says, and walks quickly over to the table, sitting down at it, leaving him to stare after her a little taken aback.

Shaking his head and also sitting down at the table, "hey guys. Where's McKay?"

Looking at John, "I believe he is in his lab working on the Sekkari device." Teyla says, as she takes a sip of her tea.

Sitting next to him, their legs touching, Lexi doesn't miss the tremor that runs through his leg at the mention of the Sekkari device. Glancing over at him, she sees that his left hand is resting on his thigh. Sliding her hand under the table, she takes his hand in hers, smiling as she feels him squeeze it.

The four of them eat and chat about this and that, until McKay walks up to the table, coffee cup in hand, looking dead on his feet.

Pulling a chair up to the table and plopping down in it, "so Sheppard, how was the mainland?"

Gripping Lexi's hand tight, but keeping a nonchalant look on his face, "oh, you know. Nothing like two people obsessed with plants to ruin a perfectly planned flirting opportunity." and scooping a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, he glances at Lexi, smiling as he catches her eye roll.

Raising an eyebrow, "really? That's too bad." and swallowing a large gulp of coffee, standing up, "well I hate to drink and run, but I've gotta finish working on the seed carrier. Woolsey wants it fixed asap."

Calling after him, "hey McKay, radio me when it's ready for transport." and under his breath, "I can't wait for that thing to be outta here."

Shouting over his shoulder, "will do Sheppard."

Returning his attention to everyone at the table, he catches the looks they are sharing, "what?"

Smiling wide, "nothing Sheppard." and taking a huge gulp of water, "you feel like a run?" Ronon asks, after swallowing.

Feeling Lexi's eyes on him and turning to look at her, "yeah. That sounds great." and seeing the look she is giving him, he stands up as she does the same, "I'll meet you outside of your quarters in twenty."

On Ronon's nod, they leave the mess, John for his quarters, Lexi for her office.

Reaching the transporter, "John, just take..."

Turning to look at her as he swipes the door control, "Lexi, don't say take it easy. I feel fine."

Shaking her head as the doors slide open, "yeah and you were shaking like a leaf back there because you were cold." she says, her voice lowered, as a group of marines are passing by.

Turning his head to see why she lowered her voice, and looking back at her, now standing in the transporter, "don't worry, okay?"

Smiling, "I always worry about you. I can't help it." and as she hits the screen for the section where her office is, and the doors slide shut, "I'm in my office all day, if you need me."

Watching the doors slide shut and then open again, _I wonder what she meant by that,_ and as he gets into the transporter, hitting the screen for the crew quarters, he tries to figure it out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chap. 6:**

* * *

Later on that evening, while sitting on the mess hall balcony eating dinner with his team and Woolsey, the conversation veers towards the situation with the Sekkari device. John joins in on it, outwardly the essence of calm, but a wreck on the inside.

"You know what I don't get, is the A.I. thing revealed itself that morning, you discovered the device that afternoon. I mean, that's perfect timing."

"The Colonel's right. That was very coincidental." Woolsey says to McKay.

"And I know what you're implying, ok. But my mind was clear, all right. That device was found because of my brilliant thinking." and hesitating a little before continuing, "and much as I hate to admit it, a little help from Zelenka."

"What are you talking about? Zelenka's off world."

Looking at John, "no, he's not. He came back yesterday." and seeing everyone's reaction, "Lieutenant Donovan had a nasty reaction to something he ate. They came back early." and again seeing the reaction of everyone sitting at the table, uncertainty creeping in, "didn't they?"

John stares at him and after McKay slumps back against his chair, complaining, John smirks, "guess it wasn't so much of a coincidence after all."

The group continues eating and chatting for a while longer, John not really talking, but staying quiet. Eventually, the group breaks up and goes their separate ways, leaving Teyla and John sitting at the table alone.

She had kept an eye on him through out the meal, sensing that even though he had been joining in on the conversation, even laughing a little, something was off.

"John?"

Drawing his eyes away from the skyline, "yeah Teyla, what's up?"

"Are you okay?"

Rolling his eyes, "yeah. I'm good." and getting up, trying to hide the wave of vertigo that assails him as he does so, "just tired. I think I'm gonna turn in. See you in the morning."

Watching him walk away from her, a frown on her face, as she had not missed how unsteady he was as he got up, "good night John."

A couple of seconds later, she hears a commotion coming from inside the mess and standing up quickly from her chair, she rushes inside, making a bee line for the throng of people now standing in a loose circle around something.

Pushing her way through the group, her stomach twists into knots as she sees John sprawled out on the floor, unconscious. Kneeling down next to him, "someone call for a med team." and positive that her command will be heeded, she takes off her jacket and places it under his head. That done she takes his hand in hers and keeps her eyes glued to him.

A few minutes later, "coming through."

Teyla looks up at the sound of Keller's voice and as Keller kneels down on John's right side, scanning him with the LSD, "will he be okay?"

Manually checking his pulse and pupil reaction, as corpsman Bailey attaches the EKG leads and oxygen mask, "I don't know and I won't know until I have him down in the infirmary and have run some tests." and standing up, she nods at the two corpsman, who load John onto the gurney, and rushing out of the mess with them, "radio Lexi and let her know."

Standing up, picking up her jacket and putting it on, she reaches for her radio, "Teyla to Ronon."

"Go ahead Teyla."

"Ronon, John is on his way to the infirmary. I am on my way to get Lexi."

"What happened?"

Reaching the transporter and swiping her way into it, "he just passed out."

"Will he be okay?"

Stepping out of the transporter and heading for Lexi's office, "Jennifer does not know yet."

"All right. I'll grab McKay and we'll meet you there."

Reaching Lexi's office, swiping the chime, "thank you Ronon. Teyla out." and as the doors open, she walks in to find Lexi sitting at her desk, eyes glued to her tablet, "Lexi?"

xxxx

Lexi had spent the day trying to keep herself focused on her work. Which had proven difficult as her mind kept wandering back to John, as well as being completely "galaxy lagged" as Keller had put it. She had considered radioing him a number of times to see how he was doing, but each time she reached up to activate her radio, a little voice in her head would yell at her not to.

Even though that voice kept telling her that he would be fine, another voice kept insisting that she should check on him. Torn between the two options, she smiles as she hears Teyla's voice.

Looking up from her tablet, the smile disappears as she sees the concern on Teyla's face. Standing up from her chair, "what's wrong?"

Coming to a stop, "perhaps you should sit down."

Sitting down, "you know Teyla, when someone says that it usually means that something bad has happened. So why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

Frowning as she takes a seat as well, "Jennifer sent me to get you."

Bolting out of her chair, she rushes towards the exit, "I really wish he'd listened to me."

Running after her and reaching her just as the doors to the transporter open, "what do you mean, he should have listened to you?"

Stepping into the transporter and hitting the screen, sighing, "I told him to take it easy. The Sekkari device really messed with his head and g-d damn it I shouldn't have cleared him. Why do I let him convince me to do these things?"

Stepping out of the transporter and walking towards the infirmary, "Lexi, you let him do it because you love him and you know what it means to him to be able to do what he does."

Speed walking and looking over at her, "Teyla, I know that it's important that he feels like he's in control, but I should have listened to my gut. He wasn't ready."

Keeping pace with her, "I'm sure Jennifer will figure out what is wrong with him."

Reaching the doors to the infirmary and catching sight of the chaos that is taking place, she stops short, the world fading out around her as her attention is drawn to John, who is currently being shocked with the defibrillator.

"Lexi? Ronon, can you help me here?"

Panicking as she feels herself being gently lifted off the floor and she can no longer see John, "wa...wait, I need to..."

"No Lexi, Jennifer wants us to wait out here."

Looking up at Ronon, Teyla and McKay, as Ronon easily deposits her into a chair in the waiting room, "but Teyla, I should be in there."

"Lexi, take it easy. Jennifer will let us know how he is as soon as she knows. You would just be in the way."

Looking past the three of them at the doors leading into the infirmary, "I know that Rodney, it's just."

"We know." Ronon says.

Bringing her attention back to them, she sees them also looking at the doors. Leaning back against the chair, she wraps her arms around herself and sighing, she steels herself for whatever might happen next.

xxxx

An hour later, Lexi feels herself being gently shaken and hears someone persistently calling her name. As she opens her eyes, Keller's face comes into focus and seeing how grim she looks, she looks around to see Ronon, whose shoulder she had been using as a pillow, McKay and Teyla all focusing on her, looking equally as grim and realizing that no one has said anything, "is he...is he okay?"

Sharing a look with Ronon, Teyla and McKay, "right now I'm more worried about you."

"Jen, I'm fine, just tired. How's John?"

Standing up and looking down at her, frowning, "you sound more like him every day." and seeing the glare she shoots her way, "he's in a coma. I had to intubate him."

Feeling her gut twist in fear, she stands up quickly, but before she can take two steps, Keller has a hand on her arm, stopping her.

Looking at Keller, "what?"

"I wasn't finished."

Walking towards John's room, "I don't care that you weren't finished. I need to see him. You can explain it to me later."

"Jennifer, explain it to us. Please." McKay says, trying to get her attention.

Shaking her head in resignation, "it looks like the Sekkari device interrupted the firing of the neurons in his autonomic nervous system." and seeing the looks of confusion on their faces, "oh right. Sorry. In laymen's terms, the device caused a short in his system. Kind of like a computer."

"Will he be all right?"

"Yes Teyla. He will be, but.."

"Why is there always a but with you medical people?"

Rolling her eyes, "because Rodney, I don't know if the device did any permanent damage. The scanner and EEG only show so much. We'll have to wait until he wakes up, to be sure that he is in fact one hundred percent."

"But why did it take so long for it to affect him and why is it not happening to Woolsey or me?"

"I can only assume that his ATA gene left him more susceptible to the effects of the device. As to why it took so long to happen, I believe that his body finally just overloaded to keep with the computer analogy. He was already showing some physical symptoms when he came back from the mainland. But I just attributed them to the fact that he was in shock."

"Huh? From what?" McKay asks.

Seeing the looks of concern on all of their faces, "at the time, I believed he had suffered some sort of trauma. But now, I realize it was because of the device."

"He is going to wake up?"

Turning to face Ronon, "Yes. I'm just not sure when. It could be in a couple of minutes or a couple of days. It's really all up in the air. Right now, I'm just hoping he stays stable through the night."

"May we sit with him?"

Rubbing her neck tiredly, "yeah Teyla. Keep an eye on Lexi for me too. I don't need her worrying herself sick again. I'm gonna go brief Mr. Woolsey and Doctor Cole is here should anything happen while I'm gone."

"Thanks Jennifer. We will." McKay says as he, Teyla and Ronon all head for John's room.

"No problem." she says as she heads out of the infirmary.

xxxx

Rushing into John's room, Lexi stops short, taking in a deep breath at the sight of him. Letting the breath out slowly, she walks the few remaining steps to the side of his bed and carefully takes his right hand in hers.

Scanning her eyes over him, taking in the EKG, EEG, ventilator and various other wires and tubes that are attached to him, "you just don't do things halfway do you?" and running her fingers through his hair, trying to calm her nerves, "John, I don't know if you can hear me, but please don't leave me. I can't handle that." and sitting down in the chair next to his bed, leaning back in it, she closes her eyes, offering up a little prayer that he'll be okay.

A few minutes later, the rest of his team walk in and nodding at each of them as they also take up seats, they all settle into their vigil.

xxxx

Four days later, walking in to John's room to check him over, Keller frowns to herself at the sight of Lexi fast asleep in the chair next to his bed, chin to chest and his hand in hers. As she gets closer to the bed she shakes her head, _she's worse than his teammates,_ and walking around to his right side, she takes out her pen light and shining the light in each eye, _finally some improvement._

Ten minutes later after recording her notes on the computer next to his bed, she walks around the bed and resting a hand on Lexi's shoulder, "Lexi?"

Eyes snapping open and sitting up quickly, she blearily runs her eyes over John and as they come to rest on Keller, "is he?"

Shaking her head, "he's improving."

"Is it okay that he hasn't woken up yet?"

Raising an eyebrow in surprise, "Lexi, you know that comas are tricky."

Standing up and stretching out her neck and back, but not letting go of John's hand, "yeah, I do. But..."

Scanning her over, "I thought I told you to go get some sleep in your quarters."

Sitting down in the chair again, "you did, but I didn't want to leave him."

"Lexi, I know that you're worried. But you need to take care of yourself too."

Glaring at her, "Jen, I'm okay and you should talk. You've probably had less sleep then I have over the last four days."

Sighing, "oh all right. But at least go get something to eat."

"As soon as Teyla and Ronon get back, I will."

"No Lexi. Now."

"But Jen I..." she trails off as the alarms start shrieking.

Hurrying over to John's side, "I need help in here!" Keller shouts.

Standing up and backing out of the way, Lexi watches the chaos unfold around him as Keller and the nurses who are rushing into the room, try to stabilize him. She vaguely hears Keller shouting instructions, to take him off the vent and bag him and then the whine of the defibrillator as it charges up, flinching a little as she sees his body arch off the bed, as he's hit with the paddles.

Turning her head away from the scene and trying to keep the tears from falling, she cringes again and again, as she hears the jolts running through him twice more. Leaning against the wall to keep herself up right as she is shaking with fear, she buries her face in her hands, trying to tune out the chaos.

"Lexi?"

Taking her hands away from her face, she blinks her eyes up at Keller, _okay, when did I end up on the floor?_ and finding her voice, "is he…is he okay?"

Kneeling down to look her in the eyes, "he's stable. But I've had it. You are going to go get something to eat and then you are going to sleep in your quarters."

Pushing herself up against the wall, glaring at her, "Jen, I'm not leaving him and I'm not tired or hungry for that matter."

Standing up as well and returning the glare, "Lexi, you can barely stand and I don't need you passing out on me right now. So if you don't do as I say, I will knock you out."

Pushing herself off the wall and starting to head for John's bedside again, "I'm not leaving."

Stepping in her path, reaching out to steady her as she sways a little and giving in, "okay, okay. Since you won't leave him, how about we compromise?"

Pulling her arm out of Keller's hand, walking over to John's side and sitting down in the chair again, "what're you offering?"

Smiling down at her, "I'll let you stay in the infirmary, but you have to sleep for at least eight hours straight and have a decent meal."

Looking up at her, "and where do you suggest that I get that sleep, if I'm not going to leave?"

"Well you can use the cot in my office and I'll have some food brought up for you."

Looking over at John, "I don't know."

"Lexi, please. I'm sure John wouldn't want you getting sick because of him."

Sighing and slowly standing up, "fine. But you have to let me know..."

Grabbing her elbow to guide her out of the room, "I'll wake you up as soon as he wakes up. I promise."

Smiling and letting herself be guided into Keller's office, "I'm not hungry."

Guiding her to the cot and helping her sit down on it, "that's okay." and watching her as she lays down, "get some sleep and you can eat when you wake up."

"Thanks...Jen." she mumbles out before her breathing evens out.

Grabbing the blanket that is at the foot of the cot, she drapes it over Lexi and after making sure that she is tucked in, Keller tiptoes out of the office heading for the nearest medicine cabinet. After getting the supplies that she needs, she heads back into the office, kneeling by Lexi's side. Opening up the sterile needle, she goes about inserting the IV catheter into Lexi's right hand and satisfied that she has the drip set at the right flow, she heads out to go on rounds.

xxxx

_Bolting upright in bed, still half asleep, John jumps on Lexi, pinning her to the bed, hand wrapped around her throat, "leave me alone you son of a bitch! You're...dead! I killed you!"_

_Clawing at his hand, trying to take in a breath, "John, listen...to...my voice...I...need you...to wake...up." she chokes out._

_Coming to his senses, he quickly snatches his hand away from her throat and staring at her, he backs his way off the bed, only to fall off of it in a tangle of blankets. Wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his head in his knees, rocking back and forth, "oh my...g-d! Lexi, I'm...sorry."_

"_John."_

_Hearing the pleading in her voice, he stops shaking and immediately his head snaps up. Fear sweeps through him, as they are now on the mainland and Kolya is holding Lexi, the same way he had been holding Doctor Weir. Gun to the side of her head and a huge smile on his face, "you might have been able to save Dr. Weir, but you won't be able to save this one."_

_John realizes he has his P90 in his hands and aiming it at Kolya, "I'm not going to let you harm her." he says as he sets his sights on Kolya's head, seeing the fear and pleading in Lexi's eyes._

_Just as his finger is about to squeeze the trigger, a loud pop issues from Kolya's gun and John can only watch in horror as Lexi falls to the ground dead, "Noooo!" and as he rushes to her side to gather her up in his arms, Kolya's laughter echoes out through the forest._

_Looking up and around, still cradling her in his arms, tears streaming down his face, "I'm going to torture you and then kill you slowly, you fucking monster!" he screams, and looking back down at Lexi's still form in his arms, he feels a sob wrack through him and just as he can't take it anymore, everything dissolves around him and he passes out, the darkness claiming him._

xxxx

"He doesn't look good. I thought you said he was getting better."

Glaring at McKay, who is currently sitting next to John's bed, his laptop perched on his knees, "Rodney, like I told all of you yesterday, he is getting better. In fact I wouldn't have taken him off of the vent if he weren't. He'll wake up when he's ready."

"Jennifer we are just worried. He has been asleep for five days."

"Noooo!"

They all snap their heads around to see John arching his back off the bed, pain creasing his forehead and as he curls in on himself, shaking like a leaf, Keller rushes to his side, grabbing his left shoulder. As she tries to keep him on the gurney, she gestures for Ronon to help her and as they get him on his back, "Colonel, can you hear me?"

"I'm going to torture you and then kill you slowly, you fucking monster!"

"Colonel, wake up! It's just a nightmare." Keller says, sharing looks of shock with the rest of them.

Eyes snapping open and quickly darting around the room, finally settling on Ronon, "Lexi?" he gasps out, trying to pull oxygen into his lungs.

Replacing the nasal cannula with an oxygen mask, "take slow and steady breaths Colonel." and looking at McKay, "Rodney, go get Lexi for me."

Gripping her arm tightly, "is sh..she okay?"

Seeing the fear in his eyes, "yes John. She is fine." Teyla says, coming up to stand next to Ronon and placing a comforting hand on his leg.

Slumping against the pillows, "are...you...sure?"

"John, I'm fine."

Eyes darting to the doorway, he smiles under the oxygen mask as he sees Lexi hurriedly walking up to him. Feeling her hand slide into his and her other hand running through his hair, "you weren't here. You're always here."

"Somebody certainly sounds like a kid."

Turning her head, "Rodney, out now please." Keller orders.

"But..but..."

Smiling and herding him and Ronon out of the room, "we will come back later. John I am glad that you are awake."

Returning the smile, "thanks...Teyla." he says, his eyes starting to drift shut.

"Colonel, I need you to stay awake for a little while longer."

Forcing his eyes open, he sees Keller and Lexi staring at him, "what...happened?"

Reaching for his wrist, "we'll get to that. But first, what's your name?"

Raising an eyebrow at her, "John Sheppard. Lieutenant...Colonel, United States...Air Force."

Finished checking his pulse, hooking her stethoscope into her ears, "I would have been happy with just John. But okay. Next question. Do you know where you are?"

Yawning and focusing on Lexi, "my room in the Atlantis infirmary." and wincing as he feels the cold metal of the bell of the stethoscope on his chest, "ah, that's cold."

"Sorry. Take a deep breath for me." she says, listening to his heart and lungs and a couple of minutes later, "well everything sounds good. Now, when's your birthday?" she asks, typing up the results on the computer next to his bed.

Eyes starting to drift close again, "January...5th."

"Jen, can you finish this later?"

"Yeah." and hitting save on the computer, "I'll stop by in a couple of hours."

Watching her walk out of the room, "get some sleep."

Talking over her shoulder, "you know, we've really gotta stop telling each other to do that." and with a smirk she leaves the room.

Smirking as well, she refocuses on John, startling a little as she sees him watching her, "hey, how are you?"

"I've been better...what's with the...twenty questions and why...am I here?"

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, "you've been in a coma for five days and Jen just wants to make sure you're all there."

"What! Why?" he asks, the beeping of the monitor speeding up, alerting her to his confusion.

Hearing it and seeing the fear in his eyes, "John, calm down. You're fine."

"Really?"

Smiling and running her fingers through his hair again, "yeah, really. The Sekkari device screwed you up a little and your body just needed to reset itself."

Pulling the oxygen mask down, "does that mean that I can get outta here soon?"

Leaning forward, kissing him on the lips and pulling away, she replaces the mask, smirking at the look of annoyance on his face, "most likely Jen will release you tomorrow. But be good and leave that on. You still need it."

Settling back into the pillows some more, his body relaxing as the exhaustion starts pulling at him again, "so where were you?"

Smiling, "you know, Rodney's right. You do sound like a kid." and seeing the annoyance flash in his eyes, "sorry. I was in Jen's office."

Shifting a little in the bed, pulling her down into his arms, careful of the wires and tubes, "why were you there?"

Looking up at him, "well, I told her I wasn't leaving and she said she'd knock me out if I didn't. So we compromised and I racked out on her cot."

Hooking his finger under her chin, locking eyes with her, "so you were here?"

Smiling again, "always." and catching the fear in his eyes as they start to close again, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing that...can't wait till...morning. Love...you." he mumbles out, as he falls back to sleep, the exhaustion finally exerting itself.

Resting her head on his chest again, she listens to his breathing and the beeping of the monitor, _love you too, _and a few minutes later, she too falls asleep.

xxxx

_Sitting in Lexi's quarters John can't believe what he's hearing, "John I'm leaving and going back to Earth."_

_Standing up quickly and pulling her into him, "what do you mean you're leaving to go back?"_

_Pulling out of his arms and sitting down on the edge of the bed, putting some distance between them, "well, I thought I could forgive you, but I just can't and if I go back to Earth, we won't have to deal with each other."_

_Coming to stand in front of her and looking her in the eyes, "but you can't, just...leave. I mean we've got to be able to work through this." and kneeling down in front of her, placing his hands on hers, "please Lexi, don't go. I don't want to lose you."_

_Standing up and pushing past him, heading for the door, opening it with a thought, "well then, you should have thought about that before, John. Now please leave. I've got to pack."_

_Also standing up, but sitting down quickly on the edge of the bed as the room starts to spin, placing his head in his hands, "no. I won't leave and I won't...let you go." he grits out, before the world goes dark again._

xxxx

Pain. Horrible, unrelenting pain. John's eyes shoot open, the monitor screeching in time with the frantic beating of his heart. Trying to gulp in oxygen from the mask still covering his nose and mouth, it takes a couple of seconds for the fact that Lexi is calling his name to permeate the fog surrounding him.

Finally after what feels like an eternity he manages to get his breathing under control and as his heart rate settles down to a less frantic speed, he feels her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at her.

"John, look at me. Tell me what's going on. Please."

Shakily reaching up to take her hands in his, not believing that she is really there, "you're...here?"

Seeing the fear in his eyes and feeling the tightness of his grip on her hands, "of course I'm here." and quickly darting her eyes over to the monitors, she frowns and as she looks back at him, "nightmare?"

Slowly shaking his head, pulling the mask down, "yeah." and blinking his eyes a couple of times, trying to clear his vision, "you, ah..."

"Colonel, are you okay?"

They look over to the entrance to his room to see Keller walking in, a frown on her face. Rolling his eyes at Lexi, "yeah, doc. I'm fine. Just a bad dream."

Smiling at him and sliding off the bed as Keller reaches it, reaching for his wrist, "Jen, do you think you could release him now?"

Raising an eyebrow at her, as she moves over to the monitor to check the readouts, "I guess so. I'm not really happy about it, but okay."

Eyes darting over to her, "really?" John asks, shocked.

Turning to face them and smirking, "yes. Really. Although, you're grounded for another two days." and at the look he gives her, "it's either you agree to this or I keep you grounded until next week, when the mandatory vacation starts and I know that you and your team have an important mission scheduled for Friday. So I'd be good and listen to me."

Looking from her to Lexi and back, "deal."

Smiling and heading out of the room, "great. I'll go get a wheel chair and we'll get you outta here. Lexi can you come with me for a sec? Colonel, until I release you, keep that mask on."

Standing up and placing the mask over his face, smiling at the eye roll it elicits from him, "now John." and squeezing his hand, "I'll be right back." and stepping away from the side of the bed, she realizes that he has not let go of her hand. Looking at them and back at him, "I'm gonna need my hand."

"Huh?"

Concern twisting her stomach into knots, she sits on the side of the bed again and looking him in the eyes, "my hand John. You're gonna need to let go of it, so I can go talk with Jen.

Squeezing her hand tighter, "please don't go anywhere." and sitting up he pulls her into a hug, resting his chin on her shoulder, "I didn't mean it."

The fear in his voice makes the knots tighten even more, "you didn't mean what?"

"Lexi, what's taking..." and stopping short at seeing the two of them in an embrace, Keller quietly backs out of the room.

Hearing Keller leaving the room, Lexi feels his arms loosen around her, as they had tightened around her when Keller walked in and pushing him to arms length, "we're alone, so tell me what you didn't mean."

Taking in a deep breath, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I've lost too many people and I don't want you to be one of them."

"John, I don't understand. How did you hurt me?"

Slumping against the pillow, pulling the mask down around his neck again, "when McKay got me stuck in that stupid chair and you saw my dreams about Teer, Chaya and Larrin."

Sighing and putting the mask on him again, "I forgave you for that, so don't worry about me leaving you. Cause I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

Smiling and leaning forward, she kisses him on the forehead and getting up, "I promise. But let me go talk with Jen and then we can get you out of here."

Smiling, "okay." and watching her nod and walk out of the room, he closes his eyes, running over the dream he just had.

xxxx

Lexi walks out of his room and looking around she spots Keller sitting at a workstation reading something on the tablet in front of her, "Jen?"

Looking up from it grimacing, "Lexi, I'm starting to reconsider letting him out of here."

Matching her grimace, "did anything show up on his scan from earlier this morning?"

"No."

"And his vitals are stable right?"

"Well yes."

"And nothing showed up in his blood work, right?"

"Right. But."

"Then release him. I'll make sure that he takes it easy and you know he feels more comfortable when he's not here."

Rubbing her temples, "all right. I'll release him. But he's on bed rest for the next two days."

"That's fine. What about solids?"

"Well, try some oatmeal and Jell-O first. If that stays down, then he can have something with more substance."

"Great."

Standing up, "I'm gonna let him walk out of here," and seeing the raised eyebrow that Lexi gives her, "I know that I usually wouldn't. But, I want him on his feet as soon as possible. Plus I'll be coming with you and I will be wheeling the wheelchair as we go."

"Do you want me to wait out here while you unhook him?"

Heading for John's room, "no, I took out the catheter before his scan earlier, so it's only the IV, EKG wires and oxygen mask that need to be removed."

Falling into step with her, "good, cause I think he'd freak if I'm not there."

Stopping mid stride, "what do you mean?"

"Don't worry about it. Just do me a favor."

"What?"

"Please tell him he needs to talk with me if he wants to be cleared for duty."

Nodding in agreement and walking into the room, "okay Colonel, let's get you outta here." and looking over at Lexi, as she comes to stop on the other side of the bed, "I'm adding one more condition to your release."

Sighing and looking between the two doctors, "you mean I have to do something other than just taking it easy?"

Gently pulling the oxygen mask off of his face and placing it on its hook, turning off the oxygen flow, "yes. You have to talk to Lexi and if you won't talk to her, you need to talk to someone else on her staff." and turning off the EKG machine, reaching to unhook all the wires from him, "and I will not clear you unless you have."

Looking at Lexi, "I'm not gonna get out of it this time am I?"

Taking out the IV port from the back of his right hand and placing a cotton ball over it, "no you're not John. But it can wait until we're back in my quarters."

Raising an eyebrow, "what do you mean this time?"

Looking at Keller, "um, nothing doc."

Looking at Lexi, "Lexi, what is he talking about?"

Shrugging, "don't worry about it Jen, it's not important." and looking at John, "you ready?"

Sitting up and swinging his legs off the side of the bed, "yeah. So doc, besides being laid up for another two days and talking with Lexi, I'm also assuming that I have to let you know if anything feels off."

Frowning as she comes to stand next to Lexi, "yes Colonel and please don't just shrug anything off, even if it's a headache. Okay?"

"Got it." and shimmying his way forward to the edge of the bed, he takes Lexi's hand and stands up slowly, smiling as he feels her grip on his waist tighten as he gets his feet under him, "can I get outta here now?"

Smiling as well, "yes. We'll grab the wheelchair on the way out." Keller says as she falls into step next to John and Lexi.

Reaching Lexi's quarters, John curses himself for being so stubborn, because by the time Lexi helps him into the bed, all he wants to do is sleep for the rest of the day. As he sinks into the bed, he watches the two doctors through half lidded eyes and the last thing he is aware of before he falls asleep is of Lexi climbing into the bed next to him.

xxxx

_Strawberries, that's a new one_, but not really sure where the scent is coming from, he tries to pry open his eyes. Having no luck however, he lets himself drift and the next thing he knows, he feels Lexi's lips on his.

As his eyes snap open, he catches the smile that curves her lips as she pulls away, "that works every time and I have to say I'm glad that Katya shaved you after Jen took you off the vent." she says, as she crosses her legs in front of her and stares at him.

Sitting up a little against the pillows and scanning his eyes around the room, settling them on her, "I was wondering about that." and motioning towards her hair, "did you change your shampoo?"

Smiling at him, "yeah. I bought it when I was back on Earth. I also brought those supplies you asked for."

Scrubbing his hands over his face to wake himself up more, "great, thanks. What time is it?"

Looking down at her watch, "1320. You've been out for a couple of hours." and looking over at the balcony attached to her quarters, "you feel up to some food?"

Suddenly realizing how hungry he is, smiling wide, "yes. Most definitely yes."

Climbing out of the bed and holding a hand out for him to take, "now don't get too excited John. It's just oatmeal and Jell-O."

Throwing the blankets off of himself, "I could eat the broad side of a barn right now." and taking her hand, he lets her help him out of the bed, scowling at how weak he still feels, "I hate this."

Rolling her eyes and wrapping her right arm around his waist, looking up at him, "I know. But, look on the bright side."

Looking down at her, "and that is?"

Helping him sit down in the chair closest to the door on the balcony, "you're not sick this time."

Staring out at the ocean, he doesn't miss the unsaid words, _yeah, but mentally you're royally screwed up_ and looking back at her, he grimaces as he catches her staring at him, "are you sure you can't, you know?" he asks, pointing at his head.

Sitting back in her chair, grabbing an apple off of the food tray sitting on the table, taking a bite and matching his grimace, "like I told you after that whole craziness was over, I know you. I don't need a psychic connection to know what you're thinking."

Sighing heavily and reaching out for the spoon that is sitting on the table next to the bowl of oatmeal, "okay then. Tell me what's going on in my head, doc."

Smiling at him, "well. Let's see. When we were back in the infirmary you said that you've lost too many people and that you don't want to lose me."

"Yeah. I did." he says around bites, not looking at her, but inhaling the oatmeal.

"John, slow down. I don't think you want it coming back up." and smiling as he scowls at her, "okay, back to what's going on inside that head of yours. If I'd have to wager a guess, I'd say that the Sekkari device tapped into your deepest, darkest fear. Which knowing you like I do, is that you want to protect everyone, but yourself and you can't handle it when the people you love leave you or are taken from you."

Finished devouring the oatmeal, he refocuses on her, "can I ask you a question, since you seem to know exactly what I'm feeling and thinking?"

Taking another bite of the apple, "sure. What?"

Staring out at the ocean again, "will I be able to put these feelings back into their boxes again?"

Getting up from her chair, placing the half eaten apple back on the food tray, she walks around the little table and sits down on his lap, "yes and I don't think it'll take that long."

Wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him, "you're not going anywhere right?"

Running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, "like I told you back in the infirmary. No. I'm not going anywhere."

"Really?"

Looking him in the eyes, seeing the emotions playing in them, "what's got you doubting me like this?"

Sighing, he shifts her off of his lap and standing up, he walks over to the railing and leaning against it, looking down at the water lapping lazily against the city, "um," _oh, just spit it out John_, "I had a dream where you said that you were leaving me because of how much I hurt you."

Surprised by how quickly the words just tumbled from his mouth, she's not sure if she heard him right, and stepping up next to him, so their shoulders are touching and looking at him, "I'm sorry?"

Turning his head to look at her, frowning at the look of confusion on her face, "yesterday I had a dream in which Kolya killed you and then this morning I had another one where you told me you were leaving me."

Running her hands through her hair and looking out at the ocean, "oh."

"Yeah. Oh." he says, also looking out at the water.

They stand there in silence for a couple of minutes and when he can't stand it anymore, "Lexi?"

Turning to look at him again, "yeah?"

Taking a deep breath and taking her hands in his, "marry me?"

Completely shocked, it takes her a moment to find her voice, "wh..what?"

Smiling and getting down on his knee, "Lexi, will you marry me?"

Staring at him, matching his smile, she leans down and pulling him to his feet, "John, you know that I want to..."

Frowning, "but."

Kissing him and pulling away, leaving her arms draped around his shoulders, "but I don't want you to ask me to marry you because you think it's the only way to keep me from leaving you."

Stepping away from her and heading back inside, he walks over to the couch and sitting down on it, he rests his head in his hands, staring at the floor, fuming.

Following him, she sees how upset he is and walking over to him, she kneels down in front of him, taking the ring off her finger, "John look at me."

Looking at her, "I'm not asking you to marry me just so you won't leave me." and seeing the ring in her hands, "what're you doing?"

Handing it to him, "read the inscription."

"Love is true, love is kind, love is forever." and looking back at her, eyebrow raised, "yeah, I know what it says. But Lexi, I want you to be mine forever. I can't lose you. I know that I've already been married. But like I told you on your birthday, Nancy couldn't understand why I do the things I do. You do and that alone makes me realize that if we did get married it would work out."

Taking the ring back from him and slipping it on her left ring finger, "John, the last time you put this ring on my finger, I made a promise to myself."

"And what was that?"

Smiling and taking his hands in hers, "I promised myself that I would never doubt your love for me again." and standing up, she sits down on his lap again, catching the smile on his lips as she does so, "but if agreeing to marry you will make you feel better, then I will. You'll have to do something for me first, though."

Smiling even wider, "anything."

Shaking her head, chuckling a little, "oh, I don't think you're gonna like what you're gonna have to do. It's pretty scary."

Quirking an eyebrow at her, "Lexi, I face down life sucking aliens, McKay and g-d knows what else out here. What could possibly be worse than that?"

Rolling her eyes, "you have to get my dad's blessing as well as Evan's"

Staring at her, suddenly very nervous, "you're kidding right?"

Shaking her head, "no. I'm not."

"I get why I have to ask for your dad's blessing. But why Lorne's?"

"Because besides you, he's my best friend."

Sighing and leaning back against the couch, "all right. Let's say that I get your dad's blessing and Lorne's. Will you marry me then?"

"Yes." and seeing that he's starting to fade, "I think someone's ready for bed."

Shaking himself awake, "what? No. I'm fine."

Smiling and standing up, she pulls him to his feet, holding him steady until he gets his feet under himself, "right, whatever you say."

Draping his arm over her shoulders and leaning on her as they walk over to the bed, "Lexi, it's just that I ah.."

Easing him down onto the bed and covering him with the blankets, "shh. I know. Now why don't you stop trying to stay awake and go to sleep?"

Forcing his eyes open, glaring at her, "I'm...not...tired."

Coming around to the other side of the bed, she climbs onto it and lying down next to him, she cuddles up next to him, "stop being such a five year old. You can barely keep your eyes open. I'm not going anywhere."

"I...know." he says, still fighting to keep his eyes open, not wanting to let her out of his sight.

Running her fingers along his right arm, which is draped over his stomach, "just sleep John."

Finally giving into the exhaustion that is pulling at him and letting his eyes drift shut, "thanks...Lexi."

Watching him, "for what?"

"For...saying...yes." he mumbles out and as his breathing finally evens out into deep sleep, she catches the smile on his lips.

Rolling over, she grabs her book and iPod and hooking her headphones into her ears, she opens up the book and starts reading. A huge smile on her lips, as it hits her that she is now engaged to the love of her life.

Two days later, Keller clears John for active duty and he and his team head off world on the important mission that was scheduled for that Friday. Lexi gets back to work as well, eagerly looking forward to the mandatory vacation.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chap. 7:

* * *

**

A week later John is sitting in the ready room, having just finished with the weekly briefing. It hadn't taken that long this week, as a large contingent of the military stationed on base are heading back to Earth for the mandatory vacation.

Watching the group walking out of the room, he catches sight of Lorne, just before the other man reaches the exit, "hey Lorne, hang back for a sec."

Nodding at his teammates, "I'll catch up with you guys." and walking back towards John, "what's up sir?"

Waving at the chairs, "I need to ask you something."

Sitting down, "sure, go ahead."

Rubbing the back of his neck and shifting uncomfortably in his seat,_ John, just spit it out. The worst he can say is no _and taking a deep breath, "Lexi told me I had to ask you for your blessing. So, what do you say?"

Raising an eyebrow, "you want my blessing to marry Lexi?"

Shifting uncomfortably again, "yeah. See, I've already asked her. But she won't walk down the aisle with me unless I get your blessing and her dad's." and looking him right in the eye, "so I figured I'd start with you, since well, you know you're here."

Not looking away, but smiling, "of course I'll give you my blessing. Just promise me one thing, sir."

Returning the smile and rolling his eyes, "Lorne, this is one of the times where you don't have to be so formal." and chuckling at the return eye roll he gets, "okay. What do I have to promise?"

"Promise me that you won't hurt her. I don't think any of us can handle another stretch like the last time."

"I'll try my best."

"Good enough for me." and getting up, he holds out his hand, "I guess this means congratulations are in order."

Standing up and taking his hand, "thanks." and gesturing for the doors, "so, you're heading back to Earth?"

Falling into step next to him, "yeah. Jamie and I are going to do some water skiing."

"Where?"

"Hawaii."

Hitting the control for the transporter, "nice!"

Getting in the transporter, "yeah. It should be fun, even if I am a little rusty."

Getting out of the transporter in the mess hall hallway, "I wouldn't worry about it. After what we face out here, water skiing should be a walk in the park." and reaching the mess hall, "can you do me a favor though?"

Raising an eyebrow, "sure."

Smiling, "great. I ordered an engagement ring for Lexi. Can you bring it back with you? It's being delivered to the SGC."

Returning the smile, "no problem. Are you guys having a wedding here or on Earth?"

"Well, we haven't decided yet. I have a feeling Lexi will want her dad to walk her down the aisle, which kind of rules out Atlantis." and grimacing, "I really don't want to think about the I.O.A's reaction, if we were to ask them to read in her family."

Chuckling as they sit down, "actually, I don't see that as a problem. Colonel Carter is already read in, so that only leaves her parents and her brother."

Smirking as he takes a sip of water, "do you want to plan the wedding?"

Shaking his head and taking a bite of his sandwich, "no sir. I'll leave that to Lexi."

"Are you saying that she's going to go crazy?"

Finishing off the first half of his sandwich, "she's a woman, of course she's gonna go crazy. It's her wedding."

Getting up quickly, "ah, sorry, I forgot that I have to meet up with McKay. Have a great time in Hawaii."

"Thanks sir." and watching John's retreating back, reaching up to activate his radio, "Major Lorne to Dr. Carter."

"Go ahead Evan."

Getting up and heading out of the mess for his quarters to finish packing, "Sheppard's on his way to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think I freaked him out."

"How?"

"Well, I told him that you were going to go crazy with the wedding plans."

Sighing, "why would you do that?"

Reaching his quarters and swiping his way into them, "I didn't mean to. It just happened. Forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you. But I've got to go. He's here."

"Thanks. Lorne out."

xxxx

Lexi had known that today was the day that John was going to ask Lorne for his blessing, but seeing him stop short just inside of the door to her office, she inwardly cringes as he looks as if he's about to freak out. Standing up quickly, as she says, "he's here." she reaches up and turns off her radio. Stepping around her desk, she reaches his side just as he sits down hard on the couch, resting his head in his hands.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, "John?"

Lifting his head up and looking at her, "how big do you want this wedding to be?"

Smiling, "not big at all."

"Are you sure?"

Frowning and squeezing his shoulder, "John, you have my word. I don't want a big wedding. I just want the most important people in our lives there and that's not a lot of people if you really think about it."

Turning to face her, taking her hands in his, "who do you want there?"

Raising an eyebrow, "you really want to know now?"

"Yeah. I mean I know that we haven't set a date, but I'd like to know."

"Okay. Let's see." and ticking them off on her fingers, "my dad, my mom, my brother, Sam, Jack, Cassie, Teal'c, Daniel, Vala, Cam, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Carson, Jen, Evan, Jamie, Amelia, Radek, Chuck, Kanaan, Torren, Maddy, General Landry, Mr. Woolsey, Dr. Lamb, your brother and Kathy."

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "okay, you're right. It's not that many. How about where you want to hold it?"

"Have you asked my dad for his blessing yet?"

"No. I'm talking with him tonight. Sam was able to get him a hook up to our dial in."

"How did she pull that one off?"

"Lexi, please answer my question. Where do you want to get married? Here or back on Earth?"

Leaning in, she kisses him and wraps her arms around his neck, smiling as she feels him relaxing against her and as she pulls back, leaving her arms resting on his shoulders, "how about we have an Athosian ceremony here when we all get back from vacation and then we can take our time planning for a ceremony back on Earth."

"You'd be okay with waiting to have a wedding back on Earth?"

Smiling, "I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't."

Pulling her into him, kissing her and pulling away, "I love you. You know that right?"

"I kind of figured that out. But thanks for telling me. It's nice to hear once in a while. You know that I love you back?"

Smiling, "yeah I do."

"Colonel Sheppard report to the Control room."

They look at each other and as he hits his radio to respond, he rolls his eyes at her, "Sheppard here. I'll be there in five." and standing up, "I'll see you tonight."

"I hope my dad takes it easy on you."

Grimacing over his shoulder, "me too."

Smiling at him, as he reaches the doors, "get going already or Woolsey's gonna send out a search party."

xxxx

Five hours later, John is sitting in his office, nursing the migraine from hell. It had started off as just a dull throb behind his right eye after being called to the Control room. Once he had reached Control, he was alerted to the fact that two teams were off world on M3J-746 and were requesting backup. Evidently the Wraith had decided to make an impromptu visit to the planet. Rounding up Ronon, Teyla and Major Lorne and his team, they went through the Gate and after a firefight with the Wraith that lasted two hours, the four teams had limped back home to Atlantis.

Leaning back in his chair, he scrubs his hands over his face and lets out a sigh of relief, as he is thankful that at least he doesn't have to write any condolence letters this time around. Looking at his laptop, which is sitting in front of him on his desk, he finishes typing up his report.

"You look like hell."

Snapping his head towards the entrance and grimacing, "thanks Rodney. I didn't know you cared."

Walking over to the desk and taking a seat, "yeah, well here." he says, tossing him a package of Motrin and a water bottle, "Jennifer thought you might need them."

Catching both items, "thanks. So what're you doing here?" he asks as he swallows the pills.

"I'm here, because I wanted to know if there's anything you'd like to tell me?"

Hitting save on his report and sending it off to Woolsey, "what do you mean?"

Raising an eyebrow, "don't play dumb with me John. Did you ask Lexi to marry you?"

Eyes going wide, "how did you find out?"

"Oh my g-d! You did?"

Blushing, "yeah. But, how did you find out?"

Smiling, "Lorne told Dr. Engle, who told Jennifer, who told me and by the way, how come Lorne knows and I don't?"

Shrugging, "I had to ask for his blessing."

"Huh? Don't you usually ask the dad for his blessing?"

"Yeah, you do. But Lexi asked if I would ask him as well."

"Really? Wow. Have you uh, have you asked her dad yet?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, "no." and looking at the clock on his desk, "actually, I'm supposed to ask him in about fifteen minutes."

"Oh boy. Um. Good luck with that."

Shifting uncomfortably, "thanks."

Also shifting uncomfortably, "well, I've gotta go check in on the labs." and heading for the door, looking over his shoulder, "I almost forgot. Jennifer said that if your headache doesn't go away, you should stop by." and smiling wickedly, "not like that'll happen."

Rolling his eyes, "thanks again Rodney." John says, and as he leans his head back against the chair, closing his eyes, McKay's chuckle can be heard echoing down the hall.

xxxx

"Colonel Sheppard come in please."

Eyes snapping open and blearily looking around John realizes that he's still in his office. Rubbing his hands over his face to wake himself up, he taps his radio, "Sheppard here."

"Sir, I have the transmission from Earth for you. Shall I patch it through to your laptop?"

Sitting up a little straighter and running a hand through his hair, "yeah Chuck, go ahead."

"Okay, patching you through now." and the next thing John knows, he is staring at an image of Samantha Carter.

"Sam, ah, how are you?"

"I'm doing well John. You on the other hand look like you're ready for your vacation."

Smiling and shaking his head, "yeah, you could say that. So is your brother there?"

Returning the smile, "yes. He'll be on in just a second. They're hooking up the feed to his house now. But John, I have to warn you." and smile turning into a frown, "he's ah, he's okay with the idea of you and Lexi, but I think he's hoping that it won't last."

Matching the frown, "yeah. I bet that he is." and looking directly at the screen, "what about you? Lexi told me that you were still fine with us being together, but are you?"

Smiling again, "I couldn't be happier for you."

"Thanks, that's good to hear. So how're things on Earth?"

"Same old, same old." and nodding her head at someone off camera, "John, the link is coming on now. So I'm gonna sign off."

"Thanks again Sam. Good to see you."

"You too. Carter out."

Watching as the screen switches from the black to an image, "Mr. Carter."

"Please call me Mark."

"Okay Mark. You can call me John."

"All right John. I've been told you have something to ask me?"

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "yes I do. I've fallen for your daughter and I'd like to ask you for your blessing to marry her."

"John, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm forty one."

"That's quite a bit older than Lexi."

"I know that it is. But Lexi has told me more than once that age doesn't matter."

Sighing and letting a slight smile curve his lips, "she's her mother's daughter." and looking straight into the camera, "now the hard question. You say that you've fallen for her. But do you really love her?"

"I wouldn't be asking for your blessing if I didn't. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

A couple of minutes pass as Mark considers everything and just when John is about to say something to break the silence, "all right John. You have my blessing. Welcome to the family."

Smiling wide, "thanks."

"Just don't call me dad. That would just be too weird."

Chuckling, "I agree. How bout I stick with Mark?"

"That works."

"Colonel, sorry to interrupt, but we need to sever the connection."

Hearing Chuck's voice in his ear, he puts up a hand and with his other he hits his radio, "understood." and looking at the screen, "well Mark, it looks like I've got to go. Thanks again. I'm sure Lexi will e-mail you soon with all the plans."

"Not a problem John. Please give my love to Lexi."

Smiling, "I will." and hitting the off button on his laptop, he hits his radio, "Chuck shut it down."

Shutting off his radio, certain that Chuck will follow his last order, he lets out a long slow breath and smiles to himself as he leans his head against the back of the chair. Closing his eyes, he rubs his temples, as now that he doesn't have anything to distract him the migraine that had been plaguing him earlier makes itself known again. Slowly but surely, the tension that he had not realized he'd been feeling melts out of him and he dozes off again, as the lights in his office dim.

xxxx

An hour later, Lexi walks into John's office, stopping short as the lights are dimmed. Walking further into the office, she smiles to herself as her eyes come to rest on John, who she can tell is fast asleep, slumped forward on his desk. Quietly she walks over to his side and kneeling down, she rubs his back, "John?"

Startling awake, he sits up quickly, darting his eyes blearily around the room before landing on her. Blinking them a couple of times to get them to focus, the lights come up. As they do so, he realizes that his headache has not dissipated and on top of it he is also a little nauseous.

Slumping back in the chair and closing his eyes again, "damn it Lexi! Did you have to wake me up?"

Standing up and sitting down on his lap, she smiles as he squints his eyes open at her, "sorry."

Shrugging, "no I'm…sorry. What're you doing here?"

Kissing him and pulling away, "I was wondering if you wanted to grab some food."

Closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the chair again, "I'm not really hungry."

Frowning, "what's wrong?"

Keeping his eyes closed and mentally lowering the light level, "I'm fine Lexi. Just tired. It's been a long day."

Looking around the office as the lights lower and back at him, starting to worry a little more, "did my dad say no?"

"No. He said yes."

"That's great." and feeling the tension seep out of him as she runs her fingers through his hair and finally putting everything together, "you've got a migraine, don't you?"

Grimacing and cracking his eyes open, "Lexi, I'm fine."

Sighing and dropping her hands onto his shoulders, "John."

Matching her sigh, "fine. You're right."

Standing up and holding out her hand for him to take, "come on, let's get you into bed."

Taking her hand and letting her pull him to his feet, he grits his teeth as the world spins and the next thing he knows, she's standing face to face with him, holding him steady. Looking down at her, "bed has never sounded so good."

Shifting to his side and draping his arm around her shoulders, "how long have you had the migraine?"

Letting her guide him out of his office, he inwardly sighs as the lights in the corridors dim as they walk through them, "um."

Looking up at him, "John, how long?"

Wincing in advance of the barrage he knows she's gonna hit him with when he tells her, "right before we left for the back up mission to M3J-746."

Not having missed the wince, she clamps her mouth shut stopping herself from yelling at him. Instead she just shakes her head and concentrates on keeping him up right, as she can tell that he's fading fast.

Stepping out of the transporter, he's shocked that she hasn't yelled at him. In fact, it's making him nervous and leaning on her a little more, as his head is pounding with every step he takes, "ah Lexi?"

Looking up at him, "yeah?"

Sighing as he sees her quarters coming into view, "thanks."

Staring at him, "for what?"

"For not yelling at me."

Swiping them into her quarters, "you're welcome." and guiding him over to the bed, easing him down onto it, she kneels down to untie his boots.

Looking down at her, smiling, "I wish...your dad was here to see this."

Pulling his boots off and storing them under the bed, "why?"

Reaching for her chin, "because he was worried about the age difference between us."

Pulling her chin out of his hand, standing up and starting to unbutton his shirt, "I hope you told him that I don't care about it."

Smiling as she helps him out of his over shirt, "I did." and letting her help him lie down, "you got anything for my head?"

Unclasping his belt, sliding that and his thigh holster off, placing both on the side table, "of course I do. How bout something for the nausea as well?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes, "that'd be great." and feeling her pulling his pants off, he opens his eyes to watch her, blinking them a couple of time as she morphs into his mom for a second.

Dropping his pants on the floor, her eyes come to settle on him and her breath catches in her chest, as he's as white as a ghost, "John what's wrong?"

Frowning and rubbing his eyes, "I think I'm losing it."

Matching his frown, "why?" she asks, as she walks over to her desk and opens the digital safe in the draw.

Opening his eyes and tracking her as she walks over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, "because you just looked exactly like my mom."

Coming over to the bed and climbing onto it, concern flooding her gut, "really?"

Accepting the bottle of water and the pills, "yeah."

Watching him take the pills, "drink as much as you can." and seeing him nod at her, she gets up and walks into the bathroom, where she wets a wash cloth with cold water. After ringing it out, she walks back over to him and sitting down on his left side, seeing that his eyes are closed again, she places the cloth on his forehead.

"Ahh. That feels good." he says, opening his eyes and looking at her.

Taking his hand in hers, "I don't think you're losing it. I just think you're tired and your eyes are playing tricks on you."

Smiling at her, "you know what I think?"

Returning his smile, "what?"

"I think I can't wait for tomorrow afternoon. I get to spend two weeks, camping and surfing with two of my favorite people."

Leaning forward, she takes the cloth off his forehead and placing it on the bedside table she runs her other hand through his hair. He pulls her down on top of him and starts kissing her.

Forty minutes later, she props herself up on her elbow and scans her eyes over him, watching him sleep. She smiles to herself at the fact that he looks a lot better than he had. Quietly climbing out of the bed, she changes into her pjays and after a pit stop in the bathroom, she climbs back into the bed. Pulling out her radio, placing it on her bedside table, she mentally turns off the bedside lamp and closing her eyes she starts to fall asleep.

A couple of minutes later, she startles a little as John rolls over and rests his arm across her stomach, pulling her into him, "John?" and getting no answer, she shifts onto her right side, her back flush to his stomach and entwining her fingers with his, she falls asleep in his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chap. 8:

* * *

**

Four hours later, Lexi bolts upright in bed, shaking like a leaf. Running her hands through her hair, she takes a couple of deep breaths to try and slow down the frantic beating of her heart. Looking around the room, her eyes come to rest on John and her lips curl up in a small smile, as he is fast asleep.

After what feels like forever, her heart rate settles down, but still freaked by the nightmare, she quietly climbs out of the bed and makes her way into the bathroom. After relieving herself and washing her hands, she quietly heads out onto the balcony and leaning against the railing, she stares out at the two moons.

"You know, I'm usually the one who can't sleep."

Turning her head to look at John as he comes to stand next to her, "I guess you're rubbing off on me."

Pulling her into his arms, "I'm not so sure that's a good thing."

Burying her head in his chest, she hugs him tighter trying to rid herself of the fear that has yet to dissipate, "I think it is."

Feeling her shaking in his arms and her arms tightening around him, "I know this is usually your line. But do you want to talk about it?"

Shaking her head and looking up at him, "I really don't remember what it was about." and shivering again, "but I do remember being scared out of my mind."

Kissing her on the forehead and looking her in the eyes, "how bout we head back to bed. I'll even check for monsters under it."

Smiling, "will you scare them off for me?"

Pulling her inside, "I'll add them to the list of things I have to keep you safe from."

Climbing into the bed and snuggling up to him, "that's a pretty long list."

Smiling, "yeah. But I don't mind." and kissing her, "is the alarm off?"

Kissing him back, "no. I have one more appointment before I'm officially off duty."

Raising an eyebrow, "really? What time?"

"1130."

Yawning, "oh, okay."

Catching the yawn, "how're you feeling?"

Trying to keep his eyes open, "better."

Smiling, she leans in and kisses him again and resting her head on his chest, she smiles as she feels his breathing even out. A couple of minutes later, her breathing evens out, matching his.

xxxx

The alarm wakes Lexi up at 0630 and turning over quickly she swats it off. Turning back over on her left side, she smiles as John's eyes are sleepily blinking back at her. Leaning in she kisses him and as she pulls away, "go back to sleep. I'll wake you up when I get back from the gym."

Shifting onto his back and closing his eyes, "don't…go. Stay."

Gently turning his face to her, kissing him again, "believe me I'd love to, but..." she trails off and smiles to herself as he's already fallen back to sleep. Shaking her head, she quietly gets out of the bed and changing into her workout clothes she grabs a bottle of Gatorade and heads out for the gym.

Reaching the gym, she heads over to the bike and sticking her headphones in her ears, she starts to cycle.

An hour and a half later, she walks into the mess and after grabbing a tray, she heads out onto the balcony to find Lorne sitting by himself, completely lost in his own thoughts.

Making her way over to his table, she quietly sets her tray down and sitting down, "Evan?"

Startling out of his thoughts and looking across at her, "what?"

Eyeing him with concern, "are you okay?"

Smiling, "yeah. I'm good. Just taking in the scenery before I head back to Earth."

Returning the smile and taking a gulp of her protein shake, "it'll still be here when you get back."

"Yeah. I know."

"Okay, what's bothering you?"

"Lexi, nothing's bothering me."

Sighing and finishing off her protein shake, "Evan."

Matching her sigh, "you suck."

Chuckling, "and you sound like you're ten. Tell me what's bothering you."

Glaring at her and throwing up his hands in defeat, "okay. Okay. It's just that, well, I know I gave Sheppard my blessing and he's a great guy. But I was wondering if you really think it's such a good idea to marry him?"

Nearly choking on her coffee, "wh...why would you ask me that?"

Leaning forward, resting his elbows on the table, "I'm only asking, because I love you and I want to make sure that you're going into this with your eyes open."

Also leaning forward, pushing their trays out of the way and taking his hand in hers, "I appreciate your concern, Evan. But don't worry. I am going into this with my eyes open. I love him."

Sighing and smiling, "all right then." and looking down at his watch, "I gotta go. Dinner when we get back?"

Smiling as well, "most definitely. Have a great time in Hawaii."

Heading for the exit, talking over his shoulder, "great and thanks."

She watches him walk away from her for a couple of seconds and looking down at her watch she realizes that she better leave as well. Standing up, she heads for the transporter.

Reaching her quarters, she swipes herself into them and smiles wide as it's still pitch dark and John is still fast asleep. As she gets closer to the bed, she places her iPod down on the bedside table and silently chuckles to herself, as he is in the same position she left him in.

Climbing onto the bed, she crawls next to him and lying down next to him on her stomach, she runs her fingers through his hair, smiling as his eyes blearily blink open, "hiya sleepy head."

Smiling, he pulls her into him, kissing her and pulling away, "hey. I'm on vacation."

Returning the smile, "yes you are." she says, and she leans in to kiss him again.

They lie there kissing each other and a couple of minutes later, as she pulls away from him, "no...don't stop."

Kissing him one more time and trying to pull out of his arms, "John, let me go. I can't miss this appointment."

Pouting, "why not?"

Sighing and giving up in her attempt to get out of his arms, "because it's Rodney." and feeling his arms tighten around her, "he's fine."

Loosening his grip on her, meeting her eyes, "really?"

Smiling, "yeah. He's just being Rodney." and leaning in to kiss him again, she smiles as he flips her over onto her back and pushing him away, "John, no."

Giving her the puppy dog eyes, as she climbs out from under him, "Rodney can wait."

Stopping dead in her tracks, less than half way between the bed and the bathroom, she turns and looking at him, "you feeling okay?"

Climbing out of the bed, coming up to her and pulling her into him, resting his hands on the small of her back, "I'm fine."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, "are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just." and leaning down to kiss her, talking through the kiss, "want…you…to…stay."

Pushing him away a little, but still keeping her arms on his shoulders, "why?"

"Do I have to have a reason for wanting to spend more time with you?"

Sighing, "no you don't. It's just that, well." and suddenly realizing what's going on with him, but deciding to not call him on it, "how about I keep the session short and meet you and Ronon in the mess for lunch around 1300?"

Raising his eyebrow, "you'll cut McKay off after thirty minutes?"

Chuckling and pulling out of his arms, heading for the bathroom, "yeah. I have a feeling I know what he's gonna talk to me about, so it shouldn't be a problem." and mentally turning on the shower, undressing and looking at him standing in the door way, watching her, "okay?"

Coming into the bathroom and heading for the sink to brush his teeth, "okay. I'm not really happy about it, but okay."

Shouting over the water, "John, we have two weeks of spending all our time together, with no interruptions. If you have to wait a couple of extra hours, I know you can do it."

Opening the shower door and stepping into it, pulling her into him, wiping the shampoo away from her eyes, "I'll try."

Laughing as she washes the shampoo out of her hair, "sometimes I wonder how old you really are."

They finish showering and after getting dressed, they each head out. Lexi for her appointment with McKay and John for the mess to grab breakfast and coffee, before heading to the rec room to find something to keep him busy until lunch.

xxxx

Reaching her office by 1115, Lexi takes a seat and takes care of some final house keeping tasks for her department.

"Lexi?"

Looking up from her tablet, smiling, "hi Rodney. Have a seat."

Sitting down on the couch, watching her as she comes to sit down in her chair next to the couch, "so, um. I want to ask Jennifer to come with me to this thing I have to do back on Earth. But I don't think she'll want to go."

Smiling, "oh, I think she'll surprise you."

Raising an eyebrow, "you really think she'll say yes?" and getting up to pace, "I mean I want her to be able to spend time with her dad. But, it's just I really want to spend time with her and let those idiots back on Earth see that I haven't shut myself off from the rest of the world..."

Shaking her head in amusement as he continues to ramble, she watches him pace back and forth, losing herself in the movement and the words. Twenty minutes later, she zones back in and realizing that he has yet to stop talking or pacing back and forth, "Rodney, sit down and listen to me."

Stopping mid stride and glaring at her, "but...oh all right." and sitting down, "what is it?"

Smiling, "ask Jen out and do it today before you head back. I really do believe that she'll say yes." and getting up, gesturing for him to walk with her, "just have confidence in yourself."

Stopping at the exit, "thanks Lexi. Have a good time camping with Sheppard and Ronon."

Nodding at him and watching as he heads for the transporter, "you're welcome, thanks and good luck." and turning to head back into the office, she hits her radio, "Dr. Carter to Colonel Sheppard."

"Go ahead Lexi."

Turning off her tablet, taking it with her and heading out of the office for the transporter, "John, I'm done. I'll meet you in the mess. Should I bring my stuff?"

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Ronon and I already stored our stuff on the Jumper."

Getting out of the transporter, heading for her quarters, "did you grab my board?"

"Yep. On board the Jumper as well."

Swiping her way into her quarters, heading for the desk to put her tablet down, "great. I'll see you soon. Carter out." and closing the link she opens the top draw and punching in the code on the safe, she places the diamond bracelet into it and locks it.

Heading for the bed, she pulls out her duffel from underneath it and starts packing. It takes her about forty minutes to finish packing and making sure that she has everything and that her ring is secured around her neck on the chain with the dog tag, she smiles to herself and heads out for the mess, locking the doors to her quarters with a thought.

xxxx

John had ended up watching a movie in the rec room to pass the time. Ronon had joined him to watch it and about three quarters of the way through it, John had taken the radio call from Lexi. After they had finished talking, John had gone back to watching the movie and as soon as the movie ended he and Ronon had headed for the mess.

Reaching it and heading over to the food table Ronon and John grab trays and as they load them with food, "you sure you don't wanna spend your leave going back to Earth with McKay and the others?"

"Nah. The SGC doesn't have a ZPM, so two weeks on Earth means three weeks cooped up in the Daedalus. That's five weeks of missing work. We only get one of those every year and a half, so I'd like to save mine for something more special."

"So we're going camping instead?"

"On a beach that's never been surfed or even touched. You know, you've gotta get a little more excited about this thing."

Talking over John, "uh-huh."

Ignoring the sarcasm in Ronon's voice and looking across the room, he spots McKay and Keller sitting at a table together, "hey. Check that out."

Putting down the salad tongs and following John's gaze, "what?"

Watching McKay and Keller, grimacing a little, "d'you think he's ever gonna make a move?"

"Who cares?" Ronon says, and he walks away to find a table.

Watching McKay and Keller for a couple more seconds, contemplating them, "hmm." and realizing that Ronon is no longer standing next to him, he looks around and spotting him he heads in the same direction, "hey chewy, wait up."

Sitting down at a table, "so, Lexi's coming with us?"

Joining him at the table, "yeah. It's still okay, right?"

Nodding and shoveling food into his mouth, "yeah. Is she gonna be okay camping?"

"I'll be just fine camping."

They turn their heads to see Lexi walking towards them, duffel bag slung over her shoulder and food tray in hand. As she sits down, she smiles as John takes the tray from her, "thanks John. Anyway Ronon, I'm actually looking forward to it. But, I think John is worried that I'm butting in on your male bonding time."

Hearing this, John chokes on his drink and as Lexi rubs his back, watching him with concern, Ronon just stares at her, "male bonding?"

"It...means..." and waving off Lexi's concern, "it means no girls around. Just two guys hanging out."

"Oh. Right, got it. Nope. I think it's great that you want to come. Sheppard will have someone to surf with."

Finishing off the first half of his sandwich, "oh come on, I know you want to try it again."

Glaring at him, "no. Not after the last time."

Smirking at him and looking at Lexi, "he wiped out."

Frowning at him, "ooh, ouch." and looking at Ronon, "don't worry about it. I had some spectacular wipeouts when I first learned how to surf. So how bout it? You feel like giving it another shot?"

Looking between the two of them, shrugging, "maybe."

Smiling at Lexi, "maybe you should teach him?"

Finishing her soup, "sure." and looking down at her watch, "so, you guys ready?"

Looking at Ronon, seeing his nod and standing up, "yeah, let's head out."

They head out of the mess for the Jumper bay and reaching it Lexi stows her bag in the secure netting, next to John's. As she sits down in the seat behind him, she smiles to herself as Ronon has a huge smile on his face and leaning back in her chair, "let's get this vacation started."

Reaching up to activate his radio, "yes ma'am." and smiling as he runs through the short pre flight, "flight this is Sheppard, Jumper one is ready for take off."

"Jumper one, you're cleared for take off. Have a good vacation sir." comes the techs voice over the radio.

Closing the radio link, "okay, lady and gent, fasten your seat belts. Next stop the mainland." and flying the Jumper out of its berth, he sets the course for the untouched beach he had discovered a couple of months back.

Ten minutes later, Lexi sighs in content as she doesn't miss the tension leaving John and Ronon's shoulders and standing up she comes to stand in between them, watching the water rushing past below them.

"You want to fly it again don't you?"

Looking down at John, batting her eyes at him, "who me?"

Sharing a look with Ronon and meeting her gaze, "yes you."

"I'd love to."

"Ah Sheppard. Do you really think it's a good idea?"

Smiling, "don't worry buddy." and standing up, letting her slide into the seat, "she's a whole lot better than McKay." and sitting down in her vacated seat, getting comfortable, "wake me when it's time to land."

Eyeing him and then Lexi, who it seems, is a whole lot better than McKay at flying, "where'd you learn how to fly?"

Looking over at Ronon, smiling as she hears John's breathing even out behind her, "back on Earth when I first joined the SGC, Colonel Mitchell took me up in an F302." and refocusing on the view screen, "that was fun, but this. This is more than fun.

Looking back at John, "yeah. He's said that he loves it."

"I'm sure he does." and looking over at him, "you know, you can sleep too if you want."

Meeting her gaze, "nah. I'm good."

Shrugging and refocusing on the view screen again, "okay. Suit yourself." and as silence descends on the Jumper, she loses herself in the feeling of flying, realizing that this is the main reason why John loves it so much.

A couple of minutes later, her attention is drawn to her right by a loud snore and smiling to herself, "yeah. Just as I thought." and shaking her head in amusement, she focuses on flying them to the correct coordinates.

Forty-five minutes later, she easily sets the Jumper down on the beach and turning in the chair, she stands up and quietly lowers herself onto John's lap, smiling as he startles a little, his eyes snapping open. As they come to rest on her, "sorry. Didn't mean to startle you, but, we're here."

Turning his head to look out the view screen, "you landed?"

"Yeah. It wasn't too hard and it should be a good spot."

Shifting in the chair, catching sight of Ronon fast asleep in the co-pilots' seat, "why is it that we can sleep easily when you're around?"

Smiling, "probably the same reason why I sleep so well when you're around. I know that I'm safe."

Blushing bright red, but squeezing her hand, "let's get settled. It looks like we've got at least five hours before it gets dark."

Nodding and standing up, "you wake Ronon, I'll start setting up the tent."

Smiling at her, "chicken."

Chuckling as she palms the door release in the back of the Jumper open, "no. I've just woken you up enough times to know he's probably worse." and grabbing the tent from the overhead netting, she heads out of the Jumper.

Just as she is done locating a good spot to put it up, just to the right of the Jumper's rear hatch, Ronon and John come striding out of the back of it. Ronon, heading for the tree line, John carrying his board, "John, I think I'm just gonna lie out in the sun."

Sticking his board in the sand, coming over to help her unfold the tent, "are you sure? Those are some nice breakers out there."

Grunting as she maneuvers part of the tent into place, "I'm sure. I'm too tired."

Plunging one of the pins attached to the tent into the sand, "I told you to cancel on McKay."

Plunging another one of the pins into the ground, "and I told you I couldn't." and ducking inside the tent to smooth out the floor of it and to push up the roof, "besides, those breakers should be there tomorrow and I can definitely use some sun."

Sticking the third pin into the ground, "I don't know about that. You look fine to me."

Coming out of the tent and sticking the final pin in the ground, "thanks John. But..."

"You guys all set?"

Turning their heads, they see Ronon walking over to them, "yeah buddy. You?"

Nodding, "yep. I'm gonna do some hunting. You gonna surf?"

Heading into the back of the Jumper, "John is. I'm gonna catch some sun." and sticking her head out of the hatch, "John, you gonna change?"

Smiling, "be right there." and turning to face Ronon, "stay on radio and have fun."

Returning the smile and heading off into the forest, "you too and will do."

Turning and heading into the back of the Jumper, he stops short, a huge smile crossing his lips and letting out a whistle, "wow!"

Turning to face him, grabbing the suntan lotion, "John, it's a bikini. You've seen me in less."

Coming to stand right in front of her, taking the suntan lotion from her, "true. But, you look amazing." and squeezing some lotion into his hand, "do you want me to get your back?"

Turning around, so her back is to him, "thanks." and as he starts rubbing it on her, "how long do you think you'll surf for?"

Shrugging, as he rubs the lotion onto her neck, making sure to rub it under the chain, "I don't know. Couple hours maybe, why?"

Turning around to face him, taking the lotion from him, leaning down to apply it to her legs, "no reason. I was just wondering. You want me to keep my radio on?"

Smiling as he grabs his bag from the overhead storage, "yeah. Better safe than sorry."

Straightening up, rubbing lotion on her arms, stomach and chest, "you worry too much. This is Ronon we're talking about."

Dropping his bag on the Jumper bench, unzipping it and pulling out his board shorts, "I don't worry too much, I just, you know."

Closing the suntan lotion, tossing it on the Jumper bench, she turns him to face her and wrapping her arms around his neck, "I know. But do me a favor and try not to worry so much."

Smiling and leaning down to kiss her, he wraps his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him and talking through the kiss, "I'll…try."

Pulling away, but keeping her arms resting on his shoulders, returning the smile, "good and don't worry, I will keep my radio on." and pulling out of his arms, "I'll be outside."

Watching her as she picks up the lounge chair and walks out of the Jumper, he smiles. A couple of seconds later, realizing that he is staring off into space, he shakes his head to clear it and strips out of his clothes. Slipping his board shorts on over his boxers, folding his clothes up and tossing them into his bag, he picks up the suntan lotion and after rubbing it on his arms, legs and torso, he walks out of the back of the Jumper.

Spotting Lexi lying out on the lounge chair, her eyes closed, his smile widens and he walks over to her side, "hey Lexi, can you get my back?"

Squinting her eyes open at him, shading them with her right hand she looks him up and down and seeing the smile on his lips, "sure." and letting him pull her to her feet, she takes the lotion from him and squirting some out in her hand, she looks up at him to see that he's staring out at the ocean, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, "John?"

"Huh, what?"

"You okay?"

Looking around the beach and back out at the ocean, "not really."

Completely shocked at the truthfulness of the answer and stepping around him to start rubbing the lotion on his back, frowning as he flinches ever so slightly as her hand touches his skin, "what's wrong?"

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "um, the last time I was on the mainland."

Rubbing lotion on his neck, mentally kicking herself as everything clicks into place, "oh right." and finished applying the lotion, she turns him to face her, pulling him into a hug, "what can I do?"

Hugging her tighter, "you're doing it."

Smiling and looking up at him, "good I'm glad. But if you want to head back to Atlantis, we can."

Pulling away a little, returning the smile, "no. I'll be okay."

Tossing the suntan lotion on the ground and taking his face in her hands, she kisses him and pulling away, "you sure?"

Leaning down to kiss her again and pulling out of her arms, "yeah." and walking over to his board, pulling it out of the sand and leaning over to strap the leash to his ankle, "are you sure I can't convince you to come out with me?"

Lowering herself onto the lounge chair again, shading her eyes with her hand, watching him, "I'm sure. Have fun."

Straightening up and picking up his board, a large grin spreads across his face as he runs out towards the ocean, shouting over his shoulder, "you bet."

Shaking her head in amusement, she watches him as he paddles away from the shoreline and satisfied that he'll be okay, she sets the alarm on her watch to go off every hour and closing her eyes, she rests her head back a smile lingering on her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chap. 9:

* * *

**

Four hours later Lexi wakes up to the smell of something delicious wafting on the air. Opening her eyes, she sits up and scanning them around, she spots Ronon cooking some sort of animal on a spit, over a fire pit. Standing up and walking over to him, her eyes drift out to the ocean, spotting John easily.

"He's been out there for a while."

Smiling, "yeah. He sure has." and shifting her gaze back to Ronon, "what is that?"

"Sheppard calls it a rabbit."

Raising an eyebrow, "really?"

Nodding, "yeah. It was easier to call it that then what the Ancestors called it."

Shaking her head in amusement, "they certainly didn't do a good job with that." and turning to face the water, "John!" and seeing him wave at her, she turns to head for the open hatch of the Jumper, talking over her shoulder, "I'm gonna go change."

Reaching the bench where her bag is, she pulls out a pair of sweats and a hoody from it. Pulling on her sweats, she smiles to herself, hearing Ronon and John's voices floating in through the open hatch.

As she pulls on the hoody she turns to face the hatch, smiling as a very wet John walks up to her, "I thought you were only gonna spend a couple of hours out there."

Returning the smile and accepting the towel she hands him, drying off his hair, "I couldn't help it."

Sitting down on the bench, watching him, "I take it you had a good time?"

Wrapping the towel around his waist, pulling his board shorts and boxers off, kicking them off his legs and pulling on the dry pair of boxers she hands him, "yeah. The water's perfect." and grabbing his track pants from his bag, slipping them on, "it's too bad we can't surf at night."

"So you're doing okay with..."

Pulling on a hoody as well, "I'm fine."

Standing up and turning him to face her, searching his eyes for any hint of a lie, "really?"

Grimacing at her and turning around to grab his flip-flops from his bag, "come on Lexi, just leave it alone. Okay?"

Wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing the back of his neck, "I won't leave it alone. I can't."

Turning around in her arms, resting his arms on her shoulders, looking down at her, "why not?"

Rolling her eyes and sighing, "because I know that you haven't gotten everything back into their boxes yet and if I needed more proof to back me up, the reaction you had earlier is all I would need."

Angrily pulling out of her arms, slipping on his flip-flops and walking out of the Jumper, half shouting, half talking over his shoulder, "sometimes I wish I hadn't let you in!"

Completely stunned by his anger, she tries to find her voice, but having no luck she follows him out of the Jumper, watching as he waves off Ronon's questioning look as he walks past the fire pit and sits down on the sand, his eyes immediately zoning in on the sunset.

Meeting Ronon's eyes, she doesn't miss the same questioning look he gave John and also shaking it off, she walks over to John's side and sits down next to him, "John?"

Sighing, but not looking at her, "what?"

Keeping her voice even, not letting her emotions come into play, "I'm sorry. But you did let me in, so deal with it." and getting up she walks over to the fire pit and sitting down next to Ronon, accepting the plate of meat he hands her, "thanks."

Sticking his chin out in John's direction, "is he okay?"

Taking a bite of the meat, "you'll have to ask him."

Nodding, "hey Sheppard, you gonna eat soon?"

Watching the last bit of the sun sink beneath the horizon, _she's right John. You did let her in and you haven't put everything back in their boxes yet, so don't bite her head off_ and completely lost in his thoughts, he doesn't hear Ronon.

A couple of minutes later, standing up and turning to walk over to the fire pit, realizing that the voice in his head is right, "ah Lexi, you were..."

Glaring up at him, "I was. I was what?"

Shifting uncomfortably, darting his eyes over to Ronon and back, "you were right." and glaring at Ronon, as he hears him chuckling, "I should be the one apologizing. Not you."

Glare turning into a smile "apology accepted." and pulling him down to sit next to her, handing him her plate, "have something to eat. It's delicious."

Taking a bite of the meat, letting out a breath he hadn't realize he was holding, "yeah, it sure is and Ronon's good at catching them."

Smiling and stuffing some meat in his mouth, "thanks buddy."

They eat and chat about this and that and after Lexi and John finally get Ronon to agree to try surfing again the following day, they decide to turn in for the night. Before climbing into the tent, John closes the back hatch of the Jumper with the remote and positive that it's locked up, he climbs into the tent to find Ronon already in his sleeping bag, eyes closed but certainly not asleep yet and Lexi sitting on top of their sleeping bag on Ronon's right, her eyes closed.

Zipping the tent closed, making his way over to her left side, whispering, "you're spending too much time with Teyla."

Opening her eyes, glaring at him as he climbs into the sleeping bag, "why, because I'm meditating?"

Pulling her down next to him, smirking, "yeah. I don't get how you do it? It bored me to tears when I was with Teer and her people."

Stifling a laugh, as she hears Ronon's chuckle and leaning in to kiss John on the lips, pulling away, "it's easy when you just relax."

Lifting his head off the pillow and kissing her, letting his head fall back on the pillow again, "are you saying that I don't know how to relax?" and hearing Ronon chuckle again, he turns his head to see Ronon, staring at the two of them, "what? You don't do it either."

"Yeah I do."

"No you don't."

"Yeah, I do."

Propping herself up on her elbow, starring at them, "guys! Stop it. Neither of you relax."

Glaring at her, they don't say anything else. Huffing, Ronon closes his eyes and turns over onto his left side, essentially putting an end to any more conversation.

Seeing this, Lexi rolls her eyes and climbing into the sleeping bag, she cuddles up to John and propping her chin up on his chest, "I think it's a good thing that today is over."

Nodding his head and closing his eyes, "yeah. I'll agree with you on that one." and pulling her closer to him, "night."

Resting her head on his chest, she smiles to herself as she hears his breathing even out. A few minutes later, just as she's about to drift off to sleep, she feels his breathing picking up in pace and lifting her head up off his chest, she whispers in his ear, "John, you're safe. I'm here."

It takes a couple of seconds, but eventually the knot in her stomach, that had tightened just a few moments before, eases as he settles down, turning on his left side. Again she cuddles up to him, his back to her stomach and resting her arm on his waist, she closes her eyes, falling asleep a few minutes later.

xxxx

The following morning Lexi wakes up to a chorus of sounds. Not opening her eyes, she takes it all in. In her immediate area she hears John's soft even breathing and Ronon's snores. Outside of the tent she can just make out the sounds of birds singing and what she is certain are small animals scurrying through the underbrush of the forest.

Opening her eyes, she stares up at the roof of the tent for a second, realizing that it's close to dawn and looking at her watch, seeing that it is 0530 only confirms it. Letting out a sigh, she rolls over, flinching a little as John is staring back at her. Smiling at him, she pulls him into her arms and whispering, "go back to sleep."

Leaning in to kiss her, pulling away and shifting so she's in his arms, "you should too."

Rubbing his arm, which is resting on his stomach, "that's easier said than done."

"What do you mean?"

Chuckling softly, gesturing towards Ronon, "how do you sleep through that?"

Turning his head on the pillow, looking over at his teammate, shrugging and looking back at her, "I guess I'm just used to it by now."

Snuggling closer to him, raising an eyebrow, "really?"

"Yeah." he mumbles out as his eyes drift closed.

Smiling again, she looks over at Ronon and resting her head on John's chest, she closes her eyes, falling back to sleep a couple of minutes later.

xxxx

"Rise and shine guys."

Turning over, blinking her eyes open, Lexi feels John shifting next to her and looking over to the opening of the tent, she sees a wide-awake Ronon, grinning at them. Looking at her watch, her eyes go wide as it is 1130.

"Come on, get your lazy butts out of bed."

Dropping her arm down on her stomach, she rolls her eyes, as he turns and walks away from the opening. Turning over, she scowls at the smile John has on his face, "you're a bad influence on him."

Pulling her into him, kissing her and pulling away, "yeah. Sorry about that."

Running her fingers through his hair, smiling as his eyes close, "it's okay. I'll get him back today when we're out on the water." and pulling out of his arms she crawls out of the tent, heading for the back of the Jumper. Reaching it, she grabs her toothbrush, toothpaste and a bottle of water out of her bag and walks out of the Jumper to brush her teeth. Keeping her eyes on Ronon and John, who are ripping into two MREs.

Finished brushing her teeth, she walks back into the Jumper and putting the toothbrush and toothpaste back in her bag, she downs the pills she takes every morning. That done she grabs a roll of toilet paper and mini trash bag and walking out of the Jumper she goes and takes care of business. Coming back into the Jumper she sanitizes her hands and changing out of her sweats she pulls on a new swimsuit and Body Glove shirt.

Grabbing her board, she heads out of the Jumper and walking over to the men, she sticks her board in the sand and sitting down next to John, accepting the MRE that he hands her, "so Ronon, you ready to try surfing again?"

Scarfing down the last part of his breakfast, "maybe later. I want to go for a run."

Looking at John, smiling, "okay fine. But you are going to get back on a board."

Getting up and heading for the back of the Jumper to toss his garbage and grab a water bottle, "yeah, yeah."

Watching him leave the Jumper, "you're right, I am a bad influence on him." and looking at Lexi, "well since he's not up for surfing, I guess it's just you and me."

Raising an eyebrow and finishing off the breakfast sandwich, "this should be fun."

Standing up and pulling her to her feet, they gather up the remains of their MREs and heading into the Jumper, she grabs the suntan lotion, applying it to her legs and face, while he gets changed, answers the call of nature, sanitizing his hands and brushing his teeth. Once they're ready, they grab their boards and paddle their way out into deeper water, chatting and laughing the whole time.

They surf for a good four hours and while John goes off for one more run, Lexi hangs out on the water, straddling her board, watching him. As she is sitting there, enjoying the peacefulness of their surroundings and the sight of John having so much fun, she doesn't see the large snake swimming its way towards her.

Just as she is about to call out to John to let him know that she is going to paddle her way back to land to grab a light lunch, "ahhhh!" and yanking her leg out of the water, "ow, ow, ow!" she screams out as the snake's head tears free.

Feeling herself slipping off the board, she startles a little as John wraps his arms around her, steadying her. Leaning into him, feeling the world graying out around her and her heart fluttering in her chest, "snake...bit...me." she manages to shakily get out, before she passes out, going limp in his arms.

Quickly looking around, not catching sight of the snake he unstraps both their boards from their ankles and sliding off of his and then easing her off of hers, he rescue swims her back to the beach.

Reaching it, he lifts her easily into his arms and after carrying her into the back of the Jumper he rests her on one of the benches, wrapping her in blankets. Not wanting to leave her, but knowing he has to get her back to the city, he hurries forward to the pilot's chair and sitting down, he powers up the Jumper, turning on the on board radio, "Ronon come in!"

"Go ahead."

"Where are you?"

"I'm almost back to the Jumper. Why?"

"Lexi was bitten by a snake. I have to..." he trails off as he hears Ronon running into the Jumper.

"Sheppard, go."

Closing the back of the Jumper with a thought, he lifts off and turns the Jumper back towards Atlantis, trying to get as much speed out of the craft as possible, "Atlantis this is Sheppard, come in."

"Colonel, we weren't expecting to hear from you for another two weeks."

Looking over his shoulder at Ronon, frowning as he sees him wrapping Lexi's leg, "I know, but we've got a medical emergency. I need a med team waiting for us in the Jumper bay. ETA twenty five minutes."

"Colonel, what's wrong?"

Focusing on the view screen and trying to get the Jumper to go even faster, "Carson?"

"Aye lad."

"What are you doing back on Atlantis?"

"Don't worry about that now. What's the emergency?"

"Sheppard!"

Turning in his seat, he feels all the color leaving his face, as he sees Ronon trying to keep Lexi from falling off the bench. Feeling the world tunneling around him, it takes his brain a moment to realize that Beckett is yelling at him over the radio, "wh...what?"

"I asked what's going on?"

Seeing Ronon nod at him that he's got things under control, he turns around to face the view screen again, realizing that they've almost reached the city, "Lexi got bit by a snake. I'm coming in to land in five minutes."

Landing the Jumper, he turns it off and before he knows it, "John?"

Startling out of the haze that descended on him the minute he landed the Jumper, he looks around, _okay, how the hell did I get to the infirmary?_ and as his eyes finally settle on Beckett who is standing in front of him, concern written across his face, "ho...how's Lexi?"

Sighing and sitting down next to him, "stable for now."

Standing up quickly, flailing out a hand to try and steady himself as the world tilts on him, "whoa." and the next thing he knows, he's lying on an infirmary bed, in a pair of scrubs and infirmary booties, with Beckett again eyeing him with concern, "doc?"

Reaching for his wrist, taking his pulse, "aye Colonel. How're you feeling?"

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, closing his eyes and swallowing to keep his stomach in check, "I'm fine." and opening his eyes, "where's Lexi?"

Pushing him back against the gurney, "now John, tell me the truth."

Glaring at him and trying to get off the gurney again, "Carson, I am telling you the truth. Now, where's Lexi?"

Scowling at him, but grabbing his elbow to help him off the gurney, "she's in your room. But I have to warn you."

Pulling his arm out of Beckett's grasp, fear twisting his stomach along with the nausea, "is she...is she okay?"

Walking next to him, "like I said, she's stable for now. But I'm not sure for how long we can keep her that way."

Stopping short, "what do you mean?"

Grabbing him by the elbow again and guiding him towards the room, "we don't have the right type of anti venom."

"Why not?"

Frowning as they walk into the room, "because we don't. But hopefully we'll have it soon. Ronon and Dr. Blaine went to the mainland to try and get some. As well as to bring back everything you left there."

Entering the room, stopping short again, as his eyes settle on Lexi lying perfectly still on the bed, an oxygen mask covering her face and an EKG machine beeping steadily, albeit a little faster than normal, "what's it," taking a deep breath, "what's it doing to her and why is her hair still wet?"

Walking up to the bed, checking the monitors, "exactly what snake bites are supposed to do, only ten times worse." and taking Lexi's pulse, "one of the nurses washed the salt water out of her hair before we got her into the gown." and looking up from his watch, running his eyes over John, "sit down, before you fall down."

Shaking his head, doing as he's told, "Carson I..."

Completely surprised by the look of fear crossing his face, he walks around the bed and squeezing his shoulder, "she's strong John." and turning for the exit, "how about some food?"

Not taking his eyes off Lexi, "I'm not really hungry."

Stopping and walking back over to John's side, looking down at him, "when did you last eat?"

Shrugging and looking up at him, "about five hours ago."

Frowning at him, "really?" and seeing him nod and refocus on Lexi, "well, you might not be hungry, but I'll have something sent up anyway."

"Fine, but don't expect me to eat it."

Walking out of the room, "John, you should…" and looking over his shoulder seeing the glare he is getting, "okay, okay. I'll be back." and as he finally leaves the room, he reaches up and activates his radio, "Dr. Beckett to Control."

"Go ahead Doctor."

"Can you get a message through to Teyla?"

"Sure. What would you like me to tell her?"

"Tell her she needs to come back."

"And if she asks why?"

Reaching a workstation, typing up the order for the food and hitting send, "tell her it's Lexi."

"Will do. Control out."

The radio link closed, Beckett heads back to Keller's office.

xxxx

Resting his head in his hands trying to get rid of the headache that seems to have taken up residence behind his eyes, _get a grip John._ and lifting his head up he smiles as Lexi's eyes are blearily blinking back at him, "hey."

Leaning forward in the chair, taking her hand in his and not missing the confusion and fear in her eyes, as she finally focuses on him, "you're in the infirmary."

His smile widens as she squeezes his hand and seeing the raised eyebrow she's giving him, "what?"

"You look like crap."

Frowning, "I'm fine and like you look any better."

Rolling her eyes, "John!" she sighs out, from under the mask.

Running a hand through his hair, not meeting her eyes, he gets up and starts to pace, "fine. I'm not fine. You're not supposed to be lying there."

Snapping her fingers to get his attention, "you can't control everything and even though I know you wish you could have, you couldn't have stopped this from happening."

Walking over to her side again, sitting on the side of the bed, letting her take his hand in hers, "I can't lose you."

Squeezing his hand, "I know. I love you too."

Smiling as he stands up to sit back down on the chair, but bolting back up as the machines start wailing and as his world zeroes in on Lexi convulsing, "Beckett!"

Running into the room, taking in the scene, "bloody hell!" and rushing over to her side, holding her down, "I need help in here!" and looking over to where John is standing rooted to the spot, "Colonel, go wait outside."

Watching as other medical personnel rush into the room, "I ah, I..."

"John, come on."

Startling as he feels a hand on his arm, looking down at the owner of the hand, "Teyla?"

Shouting over the commotion, "oh thank heavens. Teyla, dear, can you please get him out of here?"

Nodding her head, "yes." and gently pulling John out of the room, "John, let us go wait in the waiting room. Dr. Beckett will come talk to us when Lexi is okay."

Pulling out of her grasp, not taking his eyes off the chaos that is surrounding Lexi, "but."

Pulling him a little harder this time, she manages to get him out of the room and hooking her arm in his, she guides him out to the waiting area. Easing him down into one of the chairs, she looks down at him to see his eyes glued to the doors into the infirmary.

Sitting down next to him, she takes his hand in hers, surprised as he squeezes it tight and doesn't let go, "she will be all right."

Not taking his eyes off the doors, "she doesn't look all right."

Nodding, "you're right, she doesn't. But she is just as stubborn as you are."

Turning his head to look at her, he allows a small smile to come to his lips, "I'm not stubborn."

Returning the smile, "yes you are." and seeing the doors opening to the infirmary, she nods towards them.

Turning his head towards the doors and jumping out of his chair, letting go of her hand as Beckett walks towards them, looking grim, "is she?"

"Sit down John."

Glaring at him, "Carson, just tell me."

Sighing and running a hand through his hair, "she's still with us."

Feeling his legs starting to buckle as relief sweeps through him, he doesn't complain as Beckett grabs his arm and helps him sit down in the chair he was sitting in a moment ago, "how much longer does she have?"

Sharing a look with Teyla, "I'm gonna be honest with you. If Ronon doesn't get back within the next twenty four hours, it doesn't look good."

Getting up, swaying ever so slightly, "can I sit with her?"

Frowning, as he hadn't missed the slight sway or the pain lines etched around his eyes, "aye, but answer me a question first."

"What?"

"How long have you had the headache?"

Staring at him in shock, "I, um."

Shaking his head, "I thought as much." and stepping out of John's way, "go on and sit with her, but I want you to eat the food that I ordered when it shows up and then maybe take a shower."

Walking towards the doors leading into the infirmary, talking over his shoulder, "okay."

Watching him walk away from them, "Carson, should I stay with him?"

"Aye. I don't know if he'll let you, but I don't want him to be alone." and falling into step with her, "do me a favor. Make sure that he eats when the food arrives. I'll send some Tylenol along with it."

"Do you think he is unwell?"

Frowning as they reach the entrance to the little room, "I'm not sure. But it doesn't hurt to be careful with him."

Nodding her head in agreement, she heads into the little room and Beckett turns and heads off to check on Ronon and Doctor Blaine's progress.

xxxx

Walking into the room, John rushed to the side of the bed, quickly sitting down in the chair next to it because seeing Lexi lying there even paler and if possible more fragile than he can ever remember her looking, causes his legs to feel even more wobbly than before.

Taking her hand in his and squeezing tight, "I guess this is how you feel every time I'm stuck in here." and standing up, he leans over and whispering in her ear, "Lexi you promised that wouldn't leave me. Please don't break that promise." and hearing Teyla and Beckett outside of the room, he sits down again just before Teyla enters the room.

"John?"

Looking over his shoulder as she comes to stand next to him, "yeah?"

"How are you?"

Raising an eyebrow, "how am I?"

"Yes. I can imagine this is not easy on you."

Looking over at Lexi as the monitor beeps erratically for a moment and then settles back down, "I'm ah. I'm fine."

"John, please. I know that you have told me that you are not good at expressing your feelings. But, this is Lexi we are talking about."

Smiling slightly, "how is it that I ended up with two women in my life who can see right through me?"

Sitting down next to him, taking his free hand in hers, "I don't know the answer to that. But I will ask again. How are you?"

Frowning and looking away from her so that she won't see the emotions playing across his face, _you can tell her John. She won't see you as weak if you admit to how you're feeling, _and looking at her again, "I'm scared Teyla."

Shocked that he's admitted his feelings to her, she squeezes his hand, "it's okay to be scared. I feel the same way whenever you or one of the others are in here."

Squeezing her hand back and focusing on Lexi again, "she agreed to marry me."

Smiling, "I know. She told me that you want to have an Athosian ceremony when everyone gets back."

Nodding, "yeah. I just hope..."

"She will be fine John. Ronon will get what is needed in time."

Taking a deep breath, he leans back in the chair, "I know. I just hate not being able to do anything."

"You are doing the most important thing by sitting with her." and looking over her shoulder at the door, she nods at the nurse who is carrying the tray of food.

Letting go of his hand and accepting the tray from the nurse, she places it on her lap, "John, here take these."

Looking over at her, he accepts the little cup with two pills in them and as he also takes the water bottle she is holding out to him, he frowns as he looks at the pills, "what are they?"

"Dr. Beckett said that he would be sending along some Tylenol for your headache. Nothing more."

Looking at her, he smiles a little, "he worries too much." and seeing the look she gives him, he takes the pills and handing her the water bottle back, he spots the sandwich that is sitting on the tray, "I guess that's for me as well?"

"Yes. Would you like it?"

Shaking his head, "I'm not really hungry."

Holding it out to him, "you should try to eat it."

Sighing, but accepting the sandwich, he forces himself to eat it, but he only manages to eat half and as he hands her the other half, "I'm good."

Nodding, she takes the sandwich. Placing it on the tray, she stands up and getting up she walks over to the door and places the tray on the table next to it. Turning around to face him, she frowns as she sees him watching Lexi again, her hand in his again, "I am going to see if Carson has heard from Ronon."

Turning his head to see her about to walk out of the room, "hey Teyla."

Stopping short and turning to face him again, "yes John?"

Smiling, "thanks."

Returning the smile, turning to leave and talking over her shoulder, "you're welcome."

Leaning back in the chair again, he scoots it closer to the bed and stretching out so his legs are resting on the side of it, he keeps his eyes glued to Lexi, fearful that if he stops watching her, he'll lose her.

xxxx

Five hours later around 2215, Beckett walks into the room again to find John still awake, looking even worse than he had the last time he came in to check on Lexi. Coming up to his side and looking down at him, "John, go get some sleep."

Shaking his head, but not taking his eyes off of Lexi, "can't. Doesn't feel right anymore."

Raising a questioning eyebrow, "what doesn't feel right anymore?"

Looking up at him, "sleeping in my bed."

"Oh. Right." and running his eyes over him, "okay then. At least lie down on the bed over there."

Refocusing on Lexi, "I'm good."

Squeezing his shoulder, "John…"

Glaring at him, "Carson, I'm not going anywhere."

Sighing and walking out of the room, "okay, okay."

Watching as Beckett walks out of the room, he stands up and stretching out his neck and back, he longingly looks at the other bed, _no John! You're staying right here by her side _and sitting back down in the chair, propping his legs up on the side of the bed again, he settles into watching Lexi's chest rise and fall in time with the vent.


	10. Chapter 10

An apology to those who read this a couple of months ago, but I took it down to edit it to my liking. I might actually edit it again, but won't be taking it down again. To those of you who haven't read it, I hope you enjoy it.

**Chap. 10:**

**

* * *

**Twenty-four hours later Beckett is at his wits end. Lexi has coded four more times and having to deal with John, who he is getting more and more worried about, on top of trying to keep Lexi alive has brought him to this point. Tiredly rubbing his face, he thanks the medical g-ds that he was at least able to get John to take a shower. Taking a look at the clock on the wall, he stands up and heads for the back part of the infirmary, to go check on Lexi again.

Walking into the room, he frowns, as he sees that John is still awake and Teyla is curled up fast asleep in her chair. Angry with himself for letting John convince him that he is all right, "okay, that's it. I've had it."

Turning his head to look at him, "what d'you mean?" and before he knows it, Beckett is hauling him out of the chair over to the other bed, "wh...what are you doing?"

Pushing him back against the bed and noticing that Teyla is now staring at them, "I'm doing what I should have done last night, but was too stupid not to." and letting go of his shoulder, glaring at him, "you need to sleep John."

Returning the glare, but not getting up from the bed, as now that he is somewhat horizontal his body is screaming at him even more for sleep, "but what happens if..."

"You'll be right here."

Looking over at Lexi and then at Teyla, who smiles encouragingly at him and back at Beckett, "has Ronon radioed in yet?"

"No not yet."

Frowning and looking at Lexi again, "but you said that if she didn't get the treatment within twenty four hours she would..." he trails off and stares at Beckett, "what did you just give me?"

Disposing of the syringe, watching as John's eyes start to close, his body relaxing, "just something to help you sleep."

Eyes closing all the way, "but...I...need..." he mumbles out, as the sedative fully takes effect.

Patting his shoulder, lowering the head of the bed and pulling a thermometer out of his coat pocket, inserting it into John's ear, "just sleep lad. It'll be okay."

"Carson?"

Looking over at Teyla, "aye love?"

Sitting forward in her chair, "is he okay?"

Taking the thermometer out of John's ear as it beeps, frowning at the reading, "I thought as much."

"Carson?"

Startling and looking up at her, "oh sorry. No, his temperature is a wee bit elevated." and placing the thermometer down on the tray table next to the bed, reaching for John's wrist, "he's fighting something."

"What do you think it could be?"

Sitting down on the stool that is between the beds, "I'm not sure. But right now, I'm gonna chalk it up to exhaustion and worry."

Matching his frown and looking at Lexi, "how is she doing?"

Sighing, "not well. I don't know how she's doing it. But she's still with us and she shouldn't be."

"Will she come out of this?"

Eyes darting over to Lexi's monitor as it beeps erratically, he starts to get up from the chair, but sits back down, nodding as it settles down again, "it's possible."

Shifting in her chair, trying to get more comfortable, "I hope she does. For all our sakes."

Nodding, "aye love. So do I."

xxxx

The following morning, Beckett walks into John and Lexi's room in the infirmary, quickly looking over at the bed where John is curled up on his right side. Shaking his head, looking at his watch, which reads 1015, he frowns to himself remembering the call that he had gotten three hours before from one of the nurses.

He had been grabbing a catnap in his quarters when the call came in. John had woken up with a bout of severe vomiting and his temp had spiked to 105, causing him to become delirious. Beckett had rushed back to the infirmary and after making sure that the proper doses of medication were administered through an IV he had stayed by John's side, keeping an eye on him and Lexi.

Coming back to the present, he pushes his worry aside for a moment and steps up to Lexi's right side. Placing the tray he is carrying down on the table that is next to him, he sets up an IV catheter in her right hand. Attaching the IV bag with the anti venom in it to the catheter, he takes a seat on the stool that is between the beds, watching the monitors.

Half an hour later, slightly encouraged by the readouts on the monitors, he gets up and stepping over to John's bed, reaching out and gripping his shoulder and wrist at the same time, "Colonel?"

Eyes snapping open and darting around the room, coming to rest on Beckett, "doc?"

Raising the head of the bed, "aye lad."

Turning on his back, wincing as the lights make his head pound, "how…is she?"

Not having missed the wince, he lays John's hand back down on the bed and reaching for the thermometer, "I administered the anti venom half an hour ago. But it's too early to tell."

Looking over at Lexi, frowning, "so you don't know if she's gonna pull through?"

Sticking the thermometer in his ear, "no I don't."

Glaring at him, "what're you doing?"

Rolling his eyes and taking the thermometer out of his ear, looking at the screen, "I'm taking your temperature. What does it look like I'm doing?"

Sighing and trying to sit up, "Carson."

Pushing him gently back against the bed again, "Colonel."

Sighing again and scrubbing his face with his hands, he feels a slight pinch in the back of his right one and pulling it away from his face, he stares at the catheter and tape holding it in place, "what's with this?"

Crossing his arms across his chest, staring at him, "what do you remember from last night?"

Squirming under his gaze, "um. You knocked me out…" and racking his brain, not able to think of anything else, "and that's it. Why?"

Sitting down, pulling his penlight out of his pocket and clicking it absentmindedly, "well, you spiked a fever and were vomiting on and off for a good fifteen minutes. It was easier to treat you with it."

Frowning, "oh." and staring at the IV again, "well, I feel fine now, so could you take it out?"

Eyeing him critically, "I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

"Please."

Shaking his head, but standing up and reaching for John's hand, "I really shouldn't, but okay."

Wincing as the catheter slides out of his hand and he feels Beckett placing a cotton ball over it, "thanks Carson."

Rolling his eyes, "yeah, yeah. I'm a big softie. I know. But since the IV is out, I want you to take another dose of Tylenol. Your temp is still higher then it should be."

Grimacing as he swings his legs over the side of the bed, "you worry too much."

Grabbing him by the elbow and smirking, "about you, yes I do. You've caused most of my gray hairs, lad."

Frowning as Beckett helps him sit down in the chair next to Lexi's bed, "I don't mean to."

Heading for the door, talking over his shoulder, "I know that you don't John."

Watching Beckett walk out of the north entrance to the room, _he's right John._ and refocusing on Lexi, "yeah, but she needs him more than I do." he says under his breath and standing up he sways a little, but after a couple of seconds he gets his balance in check and reaching for the collar of the gown that Lexi is wearing he pulls it back a little, smiling as he sees the chain around her neck. Easily finding the clasp, he unhooks it and removing the chain, he settles the dog tag and ring around his own neck. Sitting down slowly, he gingerly leans back in the chair, swallowing a couple of times to keep his stomach in check, cursing the fact that he feels so rotten.

xxxx

Just as Beckett was giving John the sedative, the Jumper carrying Ronon and Doctor Blaine returned from the mainland.

Walking out of the Jumper bay ahead of Doctor Blaine, "I'm gonna go check on Lexi and Sheppard."

"No Ronon. Go get some sleep."

Stopping short, turning around quickly and glaring at the Doctor, "but I need to be there for Sheppard."

"I know you do, but you'll be no good to him if you're run down."

Realizing that he's right, Ronon nods his head and turns in the direction of the transporter to take him to his quarters.

Watching him walk out of sight, Doctor Blaine nods to himself and hurries off to the infirmary to get started on producing the anti venom.

Reaching his quarters, Ronon peels off his clothes and gets into the shower, letting the hot water run over his tired body. When he was a runner, sleepless nights were a common occurrence, but standing under the spray of the water now, he realizes that this is a different kind of tired. Slapping his palms against the shower wall, he lets out a howl of anger, pain and frustration that he did not get the snake in time.

Turning off the shower and getting out, he dries himself off and after getting dressed he climbs into his bed. Lying there for a while, he lets the past day and a half replay in his head, trying to figure out if there was anything he could have done differently to catch the snake sooner. Twenty minutes later, after continuing to beat himself up over it, he finally falls asleep.

Twelve hours later, around the time that Beckett is administering the anti venom to Lexi, Ronon bolts upright in bed, shaking. Letting out a string of Satedan curse words under his breath as he rubs his hands over his face, he gets out of bed and heads for the bathroom. Relieving himself, he washes his hands and then brushes his teeth. Putting on some deodorant, a guilty pleasure he adopted after a couple of weeks of being on Atlantis, he walks back into his room and throwing on a pair of shoes, he leaves his quarters for the infirmary.

Reaching it, he looks around for Beckett and spotting him walking out of the room where John and Lexi are, looking dead on his feet and very worried, "doc?"

"Ah, Ronon. Good job lad."

Sticking his hands in his pockets and frowning, "but I didn't get the snake soon enough."

Clapping him on the shoulder, "rubbish, you did your best. So don't blame yourself."

Nodding and sticking his chin out in the direction of the small room, "how are they?"

Walking towards the closest medicine cabinet and opening it, "it looks like Lexi might be turning a corner."

"And Sheppard?"

Picking out a packet of Tylenol, "he says he's fine."

Snorting, "which means he's not."

Locking the cabinet and turning around to face him, "aye. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

Coming up to him and handing him the Tylenol, "please get him out of here."

"He's not gonna want to leave."

Sighing, grabbing a bottle of water from one of the storage shelves and handing it to him, "I know that. But he needs to take a break."

Accepting the water bottle, "you got it doc." and falling into step with Beckett as they head back to the small room, "is he up for a run?"

Frowning as they reach the entrance, "I'm sure he'll say that he is, but I'd prefer it if he didn't."

Smirking, "okay. Should I stay with him?"

"Aye. That's a good idea." and walking into the room, heading for John's side, "Colonel?"

Looking up at him, smiling, "Carson, she squeezed my hand."

Matching his smile and walking around to Lexi's side to check her over, "did she now?"

Catching sight of Ronon, "hey Chewy." and refocusing on Lexi, "I owe you a big thank you."

Shrugging and handing him the Tylenol and water, "no you don't." and catching the look Beckett is throwing him, "how about some breakfast?"

Swallowing the pills and watching Beckett checking over Lexi, "nah, I'm good."

"John, go with Ronon."

They all turn to see Teyla walking into the room with Torren in her arms and as she comes to stand next to Ronon, "I'll stay with Lexi."

Looking from Ronon and Teyla to Beckett, "Carson?"

Looking up at him from his position of leaning over Lexi, his stethoscope in his ears, "it's okay. She's doing much better."

Standing up and nodding, "when can I come back?"

Coming around to his side, "you can come back after you've gotten something to eat and some more sleep."

Frowning to try and hide a wince as the room spins a little, "why?"

Eyeing him critically, "because I said so."

Turning and heading for the door behind him, "come on Ronon, let's go do as the doctor ordered."

Pushing off the wall he was leaning against, he looks at Beckett who nods at him and he follows John out of the room.

Reaching the transporter just as John swipes the control for it, "so, breakfast?"

Stepping into it and hitting the screen for the section where Lexi's quarters are, "no. I'm not really hungry."

Stepping out of the transporter, "but you just said."

Stopping in front of Lexi's quarters, mentally feeling that the doors are locked, he closes his eyes and unlocks the doors, only to snap his eyes open in confusion as he feels Ronon's hand gripping his shoulder, "what?"

Dropping his hand from his shoulder, concern written across his face, "you were swaying."

Shivering as a chill runs through him, "oh." and heading into the quarters, not missing the look Ronon is throwing at him, "I know what I just said, but, believe it or not sleep sounds better than eating right now."

Following him into the quarters and sitting down on the couch, "you want me to hang out?"

Heading for the bathroom, "you don't have to."

"Are you sure you don't want anything?"

Walking into the bathroom, talking over his shoulder, "I'm sure."

Shrugging and getting up, heading for the doors, "okay. I'll come and check on you when I'm done."

Glaring at him from the entrance to the bathroom, "I don't need a babysitter."

Chuckling, "I know you don't. But Beckett asked me to keep an eye on you."

"Fine. I'll see you later."

Swiping his way out of the quarters, "get some rest Sheppard."

Heading into the bathroom, peeling off his clothes, he heads for the shower, turning it on with a thought, swaying a little as the concentration is difficult, "that's my plan." and stepping under the hot spray he lets the water run over his aching muscles, letting out a moan as a shiver runs through him.

Twenty minutes later he startles awake as the water abruptly turns cold and flailing out a hand he steadies himself against the wall, _I'm awake, I'm awake_ and thinking the water off, he takes some deep breaths to keep his stomach from escaping out of his mouth.

Groaning as every muscle in his body screams at him along with the jackhammer pounding through is head, he steps unsteadily out of the shower stall, reaching for and wrapping himself in his towel.

Keeping his hand on the wall to keep himself upright he shuffles over to the sink and leaning against it he starts to brush his teeth, only to drop the toothbrush into the sink, as he scrambles for the toilet, dry heaving.

What feels like an eternity later, but in fact is only a couple of minutes, he shakily flushes the toilet and slumps back against the wall. Curling his knees into his chest, he rests his head on them, shivering like crazy, _what gives?_

A couple of minutes later he jolts awake again and realizing a second later that he is still sitting on the floor, it hits him that he should probably get up and put some clothes on. But as he tries to uncurl his legs he only manages to breathe through the nausea and pain that spikes with the movement.

_Pass out John it's okay._ Ignoring the voice in his head, gritting his teeth, he pushes himself up the wall, closing his eyes tight as the world spins on him and his stomach threatens to rebel again. A few seconds later, satisfied that it's as settled as it is going to get, he squints his eyes open and stumbles his way back to the sink.

Trying to stand up straight, another moan escapes him as the world spins again and his stomach flip-flops. Gripping the edge of the sink tightly, he breathes through the nausea and letting out a sigh he shakily reaches for the toothbrush. He brushes his teeth, leaning heavily against the sink the whole time.

Washing out his mouth and placing the toothbrush back in its holder, he turns around and slowly shuffles into the main part of the quarters and reaching the dresser he grabs a pair of boxers, sweats and a long sleeved t-shirt.

Slowly he makes his way over to the bed and falling more then sitting down on it, he bites the inside of his cheek as he pulls the boxers and sweats on. Leaning over, wrapping his arms around his stomach, he tries to calm his breathing down. A couple of minutes later, after the pain has subsided a little, he gingerly sits up and pulls on the t-shirt, shivering the whole time.

Freezing and in pain he slowly stands up, holding in a moan, as he pulls down the blankets and climbing into the bed he buries himself under the blankets. Closing his eyes, he wills himself to ignore the pain and after a while he drifts off to sleep.

xxxx

Two hours after Ronon left John in Lexi's quarters, around 1320 he makes his way back to them and swiping his hand over the door, "Sheppard?"

Getting no answer, he reaches up and hits his radio, "Ronon to Beckett."

"Go ahead son."

"Doc, Sheppard isn't answering the door."

"What do you mean he's not answering the door? I thought you were with him."

Sighing, "I was, but he told me to go get something to eat and he went to sleep in Lexi's quarters." and hearing muttering curses on the other end of the radio, "doc?"

"Sorry lad. I'm on my way."

Turning off the radio link, Ronon begins to pace back and forth waiting for Beckett to show up.

He doesn't wait long, as five minutes later Beckett shows up, two corpsman, gurney, med bag and LSD in hand, "I take it he hasn't answered the door yet?"

Frowning, "no."

Closing his eyes, Beckett mentally unlocks the doors and opening his eyes, he sighs in relief as the doors slide open. Walking quickly into the quarters, Ronon right behind him, he mentally brings up the lights, enough to see, making a beeline for the bed.

As soon as he reaches it, he kneels down and laying a hand on John's shoulder, frowning as he doesn't stir, "Colonel can you open your eyes for me, son?"

Slowly surfacing through the blissful pain free world of sleep, it takes less then a second for awareness to slam into him and as it does, John sucks in a breath, clumsily batting Beckett's hand away, "no…hrts…wnt…sleep."

Easily catching hold of his left hand, "I know lad, but you can't go back to sleep just yet." and inserting an IV into the back of his hand, "I need you to open your eyes and tell me where it hurts."

Trying to peel his eyes open, but curling tighter into a ball as another wave of pain and nausea radiates through him, he gives up on staying conscious all together.

Seeing him slipping into unconsciousness, "damn it." and scanning him with the LSD, grimacing at the readings, "okay lads, let's get him down to the infirmary as quick as possible." and shifting John onto the gurney, settling the oxygen mask on his face, he reaches up to activate his radio, "Danielle, I need a quarantine set up for Colonel Sheppard and run blood work on everyone that's come into contact with him over the last forty eight hours."

Following Beckett and the gurney out of the quarters, "doc?"

Keeping one eye on the scanner and one on the hall as they move the gurney along, "he's very ill Ronon and if he has what I think he has, we have to make sure that he isn't contagious."

Frowning and walking slightly behind the gurney, keeping his focus on John, "should I have stayed with him?"

Stopping short, but nodding at the corpsmen to continue on without them, "Ronon, there is nothing that you could've done to prevent this." and starting to move again, "this one's all on me."

Falling into step next to him, "what can I do?"

Walking through the doors to the infirmary, "let Danielle draw some blood from you and then go sit with Teyla and Lexi."

Watching as Beckett hurries off towards the isolation rooms, "okay doc." and sitting down on a gurney, he waits for Danielle to come take his blood.

xxxx

Rushing into the isolation suite, Beckett accepts a mask from Doctor Blaine, "Dylan, have the samples been taken from everyone?"

"Yes Carson, except for you and Ronon."

Taking off his jacket, holding his arm out, "well let's get on with it then. I have a patient to take care of."

Chuckling and swabbing the crook of Beckett's arm, "yes sir."

Wincing as the needle pierces his skin, "how are Lexi's vitals?"

Withdrawing the needle and placing a cotton swab over the puncture mark, "improving. We should be able to take her off the vent by tonight."

Slipping into a sterile gown, "that's great news. Let's hope that she hasn't caught what John has."

Following Beckett into the inner room of the isolation suite, "what do you think he has?"

Heading for John's side, slipping on a pair of gloves and taking the control tablet for the ancient scanner, hitting start, "meningitis."

Letting out a low whistle, "well that explains the quarantine."

"Aye." and reading the results that are appearing on the view screen, "and it looks like I was right."

Taking a look at the scan and taking the tablet from Beckett, "not entirely. Look at this."

Reading the text, "okay then. That's just…I don't know what that is." and running his eyes over John as he shifts on the gurney, "all right then, do me a favor and see if his and Lexi's blood work is ready."

Heading out of the inner room, talking over his shoulder, seeing Beckett maneuvering the scanner out of the way so that he can reach John more easily, "do you want to do a spinal tap?"

Nodding as he leans over John, listening to his heart and lungs, "I want to see an improvement in his BP first. Let's wait an hour. If it doesn't come up by then, we'll do the tap." and straightening up, Doctor Blaine's "all right" can be heard through the door.

Slinging the stethoscope around his neck, he reaches for the thermometer and inserts it in John's ear.

As he does so, he smiles behind the mask as John let's out a soft moan and turns his head away from the offending instrument, "John, are you with me lad?" and getting no answer he runs his eyes over the monitors.

A few seconds later, just as the thermometer beeps, Beckett frowns as John has yet to wake up, although he has continued to shift restlessly on the gurney. Placing the thermometer down on the tray next to the bed, gripping John's wrist, "come on son, just open your eyes for a moment and then you can go back to sleep."

xxxx

Pain, nausea and an all over feeling of walking through a mix of the hottest places he can recall and the coldest at the same time, had John trying his hardest to ignore the voices that kept asking him to wake up.

However, the instant something hard enters his ear, it hits him that he is no longer going to be able to stay in the blissful world of unconsciousness. Turning his head on the pillow to try and put off waking up for as long as possible, he is vaguely aware of Beckett asking him, "John, are you with me lad?"

Ignoring that too, he tries to let himself drift a little longer, until he feels a hand on his wrist and Beckett telling him, "come on son, just open your eyes for a moment and then you can back to sleep."

The feeling of Beckett's hand gripping his wrist grounds him enough that he starts putting in an effort to pry his eyes open. After what feels like ages he finally manages to blink them open to slits and as Beckett's form solidifies in his line of vision, "hot."

Nodding, "aye, I'd imagine you would be." and checking the readings on the monitor again, "can you tell me your other symptoms?"

Sucking in a breath as his stomach rolls, "nauseous…headache…neck hurts." and as his teeth begin to chatter, "co…cold."

Pulling the blanket that is draped up to his waist up to his shoulders, "all right lad. You just go back to sleep, I'll be right back."

Nodding a little, letting his eyes slide shut, "o…kay."

Turning to head out of the room, as he wants to check on the blood work, Beckett stops short as, "Carson!" has him turning around quickly to see John struggling to sit up in the bed.

Hurrying over to his side, reaching him just in time to keep him from falling out of the bed, "easy now lad. I've got you."

Breathing heavily and trembling as shivers run through him, "where's…Lexi?"

Gently pushing him against the bed, recovering him with the blankets and untangling the IV line, "she's fine John." and seeing him relax a little, "go back to sleep."

Fighting to keep his eyes open, "no…have…to…"

Running his eyes over the monitors as John's breathing evens out in to sleep, he frowns as he heads out of the room to get everything ready for the spinal tap, realizing that if they wait the hour to do it, John will only get worse.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I'm gonna go ahead and post Chapter 11 so that anyone who is reading this story, will have something new to read. I'll try to get the rest of the story finished up soon, but RL might get in the way. Please stick with me and I hope you enjoy :-)

A/N 2: I was a little hesitant to write this chapter as John's actions are not what we're used to. But seeing as he's sick, I figured it would be okay. Let me know what you think.

**Chap. 11**:

* * *

_Opening her eyes, Lexi recognizes her surroundings as those of the ancient sanctuary. However as she looks around more closely she realizes that the scene is not complete. Out of nowhere a sharp pain radiates up her left leg and looking down at it, she sees blood oozing out of a vicious looking bite._

_Sitting down heavily on one of the benches that the inhabitants of the sanctuary used at mealtime, she closes her eyes and swallows a couple of times to try and keep her stomach from rebelling._

"_Lexi love, can you hear me?"_

_Eyes snapping open, she looks around trying to find the source of the familiar voice. Having no luck, "anyone there?"_

"_Yes. I am here."_

_Startling a little as the owner of the voice shimmers into existence right in front of her, she gasps as she recognizes who it is, "Teer."_

_Kneeling down in front of her, "you know of me?"_

_Grimacing as a shiver runs through her, "yeah well, John had a dream about you and I saw it. It was…enlightening."_

_Matching her grimace, "I'm sorry. I truly thought that I'd rid him of his feelings for me." _

_Swallowing hard to keep her stomach in check, "nope, they're still there." and closing her eyes again, she tries to breathe through the pain that is radiating up her left leg. The next thing she knows, a tingling warmth is spreading through her body and quickly opening her eyes, she sees Teer doing the same, "what…did you…just do?"_

_Smiling, "I did what I came here to do. I owed John this much."_

_Completely confused, "but by healing me, haven't you interfered with the lower plains or something?"_

"_Yes, I did. But John is too important to this galaxy and yours."_

_Shaking her head in disbelief, "okay, I get why you would save him, but why me?"_

_Chuckling, "because you're important to him." and waving a hand in the air, an image of the Atlantis infirmary appears and pointing at it, "he became ill right after he brought you back from the mainland, but he hid his symptoms."_

_Looking at the image, she frowns as she sees John looking worse than she can ever remember him looking, "oh John." and looking at Teer, "have you tried to heal him?"_

_Shaking her head in resignation, "I did. But he would not let me in. He just keeps getting worse and I think it is because he believes that you are not going to make it."_

_Looking back at the image, "has Carson allowed him to see me?"_

_Matching her frown, "no."_

_Still watching the image, she sees it shift to a different part of the infirmary and as it settles, she sees Beckett standing next to her bed, calling to her, "how do I wake up?"_

_Smiling, "latch onto Dr. Beckett's voice and follow it."_

_Turning to face her, "are you sure that John is going to be all right?"_

_Resting a gentle hand on her shoulder, "I believe so. I think that once he knows that you're there by his side, he will fight to get better." and gesturing at the image, "will you do me a favor?"_

_Smiling, "I think I owe you one after this. What would you like me to do?"_

_Biting her lip, not meeting Lexi's eyes, "I have no problem with you telling Dr. Beckett how your leg was healed and you can let him think that they got the anti venom into you in time, but please don't tell John."_

"_Why?"_

_Meeting her eyes, "please Lexi, just do this for me." and fading in and out of existence for a second, she looks around and back at Lexi, "you must go now. The others are aware of what I have done."_

"_Will you be all right?"_

_Frowning, "I hope so."_

"_Thank you."_

"_You're welcome and please keep your promise."_

"_I will." and closing her eyes she focuses on Beckett's voice._

xxxx

"Lexi, come on love open your eyes for me."

_I'm trying Carson. I'm trying._ and finally after what feels like forever, she pries open her eyes to see Beckett's concerned but smiling face in her line of vision, "John?"

Reaching for her wrist, looking at his watch, "first things first, how're you feeling?"

Pulling her wrist out of his grip, "Carson, I'm fine." and trying to push herself into a sitting position, "how long have I been out?"

Gently pushing her back against the pillow, looking at his watch again, "well seeing as it's 2220, you've been out three and half days."

Trying to sit up again, "can I see John?"

Frowning and pushing her against the pillows again, "no, I'm sorry love. The tests we've run haven't come back clean yet and I don't want to risk you getting sick on top of what your body has just been through."

Matching his frown, slumping against the pillow in defeat, "what does he have?"

Running his eyes over the monitors attached to her, happy with the readings, "I thought it was meningitis. But the scan and the spinal tap were inconclusive."

Frowning, "so if it's not meningitis, do you have any idea what it could be?"

Shrugging, "not really. But right now I'm treating his symptoms with everything I can think of."

Flipping the blankets off of herself, "Carson, I need to see him now."

Placing his hand on her shoulder, gently pinning her to the bed, "Lexi, what do you think you're gonna be able to do?"

Looking him in the eyes, "show him that I'm fine." and seeing the indecision warring with concern on his face, "Carson, please."

Sighing, but letting go of her shoulder, "all right. I'll make a deal with you. Let me draw some blood to make sure all traces of the venom are gone from your system and if it is, I'll allow you to sit with him."

Nodding and smiling, "deal." and holding out her arm, "draw away."

Grabbing the needle and vial, finding a vein on the first stick, he draws two vials and as he places them down on the tray next to him, covering the puncture mark with a cotton ball, "okay, I'm gonna go run this. You just sit tight and rest."

Grimacing as she shifts in the bed, watching him gather everything together, "do you think you could unhook me from everything?"

Frowning as he heads for the south exit of the small room, "I'd prefer not too, I want to keep an eye on your vitals for a wee bit longer." and seeing the puppy dog eyes, "oh, he's taught you well. Okay, but the IV is staying in."

Smiling as she watches his retreating back, "thanks Carson."

xxxx

Half an hour later, Lexi is sitting on her bed in the infirmary, reading John's chart. Shifting a little in the bed, she let's out a sigh as she is glad to be rid of the catheter and all the wires, but as she reaches to scratch an itch on her knee, she grimaces at the twinge of the IV needle in the back of her right hand.

"How are you feeling Lexi?"

Finished scratching the itch, she looks over at the north entrance to the small room and pouting, "I'd feel a lot better if I were sitting with John." and watching as Teyla takes a seat next to her bed, "how is he?"

"Sleeping."

Dropping John's chart on her lap, frowning, "I wish Carson would let me see him."

"Lexi, he does not want you to get sick."

"I know that, but…"

Sensing that something else is going on, "Lexi, what's wrong?"

Sighing, "it's nothing." and slouching down further in the bed, "could you do me a favor?"

Smiling, but eyeing her suspiciously, "of course."

Pretending to yawn, "could you go get me something to eat?"

Standing up and heading for the south exit of the room, "I will go find Carson and see what you can eat."

Watching her go, "thanks Teyla."

A couple of minutes later, when she is sure that Teyla is not going to come back immediately, she sits up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she pulls out the IV. As she makes her way out of the room, she smiles to herself, happy that she was able to convince Beckett to let shower and change into a pair of her own pjays and underwear. Silently she makes her way through the infirmary and reaching the isolation suite, she finds a mask and sterile gown and putting them on, she walks into the room where John is.

Walking into it, she stops short as John is curled up on his right side, pain etched across his forehead, his eyes scrunched shut, his breathing coming in quick gasps, even with the help of the nasal cannula. Recognizing the signs of a nightmare, as she has seen him have plenty, she hurries over to his side and kneeling down so she's in his line of vision, "John?"

xxxx

"_John, I'm so sorry. But Lexi didn't make it."_

_Sitting down heavily in one of the chairs in Keller's office, he looks up at Beckett, "but…but you said that she was getting better."_

_Sitting down next to him, gripping his shoulder, "she was. I don't know what happened."_

_Standing up quickly, "I need to see her."_

_Standing up just as quick, rushing to the door to keep John in the office, "I don't think that's such a good idea John."_

_Out of nowhere, a wave of dizziness has him gripping Beckett's shoulder, "why…why not?" and before Beckett can answer, he feels himself falling, his surroundings fading away._

xxxx

"John, open your eyes, please."

Trying to open them as he recognizes the voice calling out to him, John let's out a moan as now that he's conscious, all the aches and nausea that he's been dealing with for the past three and a half days, make themselves known. But after what feels like a lifetime, he finally peels them open and blinking them a couple of times to get them to focus, he sees Lexi's concerned eyes staring back at him.

Not believing that she is real, as he remembers the dream he just had, along with the other nightmares he's been having, he slams his eyes shut again, burying his head in his pillow, "you're…not real."

Frowning behind the mask, running her fingers through his hair, "John, look at me."

Shaking his head, but stopping mid shake as it makes his stomach role, "no…leave me…alone."

Sighing, but standing up, she gently pushes him onto his back, smiling as she sees his eyes snap open in shock and as she climbs onto the bed, pulling him into her arms, careful of the wires and tubes attached to him, "I won't leave you alone. I love you."

Feeling her arms wrapping around him, his head comes to rest on her chest and hearing her heart beating strong and steady, he let's himself start to hope again, "you're really…here?"

Hearing the fear in his voice, she hugs him tighter, "yeah John. I'm really here and I'm fine."

Relaxing in her arms, letting out a sigh, "are you…sure?"

Feeling the heat radiating from him and the shivers running through him, "yeah, I'm sure." and not having missed the exhaustion in his voice as well, "go back to sleep."

"No!"

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

Lowering the head of the bed a little and readjusting her hold on him, "I promise."

Smiling and letting his eyes slide shut, "good. S'good." he mumbles out, before his breathing evens out into sleep.

Closing her eyes, she listens to him sleep for a couple of minutes before the sounds of his breathing and the steady beeping from the monitor lull her to sleep as well.

xxxx

Walking into the isolation room, Beckett stops short at the sight of Lexi holding John, both fast asleep, "oh Lexi." he says under his breath, as he walks quietly over to her left side.

Running his eyes over the monitors as he reaches her side, he smiles as the numbers are improving, but even that good news is not enough to temper the anger and worry that is coursing through him at the stupidity of what she has just done. Gently gripping her shoulder, "Lexi?"

Eyes snapping open and coming to rest on him, "what's wrong?"

Eyebrows shooting up, "what's wrong? You being in here and sleeping next to him, is what's wrong. I told you he's still contagious."

Sighing, "Carson, I know that. But I'm wearing a mask and trust me when I tell you this, but he needed to see that I was okay."

Matching her sigh, "okay, okay. I get it. But now that he's seen that you're okay, let's get you out of here and back into your own bed."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Lexi, don't fight me on this. I need to check him over and I can't do that with you here." and pulling her gently out of the bed, his eyes go wide as the alarms on the monitors start blaring and John's eyes snap open, darting around the room.

Before he can move, Lexi is back on the bed, straddling John, pinning him to it and talking to him so only he can hear her.

Watching in shock at the scene unfolding in front of his eyes, Beckett can only shake his head in shock as Lexi climbs off of John and pulls him into her arms, holding him as a mother would hold a frightened child.

Finally getting his wits about him and seeing how badly John is still shaking, he walks over to the monitors and checking the readouts on them, he looks over at Lexi, who is rocking back and forth, still trying to calm John down, "what the bloody hell was that?"

Frowning and looking over at him, "that was what I was trying to warn you about." and feeling John shift against her, whimpering a little, "shh. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."

Not having missed the whimper, or the fact that John is clinging to Lexi like his life depends on it, "Lexi?"

Looking at Beckett again, fear and worry etched across her face, "Carson, I know you want to check him over again and that you don't want me with him, but."

Nodding in understanding, "aye love. I'll come back in a little while." and heading for the exit, "just make sure to keep that mask on and get some sleep."

Watching him walk out of the room, "I will." and shifting further down in the bed, she holds her breath as John's breathing hitches, but a few seconds later, she lets it out as he settles down and closing her eyes, she's out like a light in a moment.

xxxx

_Opening his eyes, John recognizes his father's study and turning around he is confronted by the sight of his sixteen year old self, standing ramrod straight, eyes focused on his feet. Stepping forward, his breath catches as his father is sitting exactly where he remembers, the words coming out of his mouth, stinging just as much now as they did then, "what were you thinking? Do you have any idea how much this is going to cost me to cover up?"_

"_I wasn't thinking, sir. I'm sorry."_

"_That's right. You weren't thinking. I don't know what your mother ever saw in you. Why can't you be more like your brother?"_

_As John continues to watch the scene, it dissolves and as it solidifies again, he recognizes the courtroom where his almost court-martial took place, "it is the finding of this court that Major John Sheppard, acted against orders and should be dishonorably discharged. However, after reviewing all of the facts and hearing testimony on his behalf, this court has come to the decision that the Air Force would be better served by..."_

Bolting up right in his bed, it takes his brain a moment to realize that someone is gripping him by the shoulders, keeping him from falling out of the bed and calling his name. Allowing that person to push him gently against the pillow, he blinks his eyes to clear them and as they finally focus, "Lexi?"

Letting go of his shoulders, shifting so she is sitting on the edge of the bed, "yeah John. It's me. I'm still here."

Sitting forward and pulling her into a hug, resting his chin on her shoulder, careful of his IV, "I thought you…"

Cutting him off, squeezing him tight, "I know. But I'm fine." and pushing him away a little, catching the fear and pain in his eyes, "are you feeling any better?"

Sighing and slumping against the pillow, rubbing his hands over his face, as his head is still pounding and he still can't seem to shake the chills or hot flashes, "a little." and looking around the room, "when did Beckett move me in here?"

Taking a look at her watch, seeing that it's 0540, "four days ago. You've been pretty out of it." and not having missed the shivers running through him, "he wants your temp to break before he lets us out."

Frowning, "do you know how many times I've told him that he worries too much?"

Fingering the chain of his dog tags, "I know. But, his worrying has saved all of us on more than one occasion so cut him some slack. Okay?"

"Okay." and feeling her fingers brushing against his neck, it hits him that his tags are not the only ones he's wearing, so reaching for the clasp, "I have something that belongs to you."

Letting her hands drop into her lap, "I was wondering where they went."

Pulling the chain out from under his scrub top, he pulls the ring off of it and taking her left hand in his, he slides the ring on her ring finger and looking up into her eyes, he smiles, "I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but I'm the luckiest guy in two galaxies."

Returning his smile, clasping the chain with her tag around her neck, "you do sound like one, but it's one that I love hearing." and yawning, talking through it, "cause…I'm…just as…lucky."

Seeing the yawn and the dark circles under her eyes, "are you sure you're okay?"

Smiling a little, "well, except for feeling like I could sleep for an entire month, which Carson tells me is just a side effect of the anti venom, I'm fine."

Sitting up and pulling her in to his arms again, letting out a sigh of relief, "good. I'm glad." and closing his eyes, images of Lexi holding him, trying to calm him down flash through his mind and opening them, "ah Lexi?"

Kissing his neck, talking through it, "yeah…what…is it?"

"Did I ah, did I?"

Pushing him away a little, seeing the embarrassment that is flashing across his face, "you were delirious John. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Rubbing the back of his neck, "Lexi, I've dealt with more crap in the past five years than most people deal with in their lifetime and I've actually managed to come to terms with a lot of it. I shouldn't need someone to treat me like a frightened kid."

Sighing and leaning in to kiss him, she smiles through it as his hands cup her face and he relaxes into her. A few minutes later, as she pulls away, "John, don't you think after everything you've been through it makes sense for you to seek out that kind of reassurance from someone who loves you, especially when you're that vulnerable?"

Grimacing, "I guess. But still."

"But you still think that you have to be Mr. macho soldier and not show any emotions." and shaking her head, she clasps her hands around his neck and looking him in the eyes, "I know you like to remind Rodney that you could've been Mensa, but sometimes you're a complete idiot."

Pushing her arms off of his shoulders, rubbing his temples as the headache that started building right after he woke up, notches up another level, "great, here we go again."

Frowning at the anger in his voice, "John, you…"

Glaring at her, raising his voice even though he doesn't mean to, "no Lexi! Every damn time I get stuck in here, everyone tries to convince me that it's okay if I let them see that I'm hurting. I know that most people don't have a problem with it, but you've known me long enough to know that I do." and closing his eyes, he swallows a couple of times as the room starts to spin a little, and the nausea comes back with a vengeance.

Before he knows it, Lexi has thrust an emesis basin under his chin and is rubbing circles on his back as he throws up what little liquid he has in his stomach. What feels like hours later but in fact is only a couple of minutes, he realizes that he's lying back against the pillow, his eyes closed again and Lexi is wiping his face with a cool cloth.

Letting out a sigh of relief as the coolness helps dull the headache that seems to have reached epic proportions, "sorry."

Frowning, "for almost throwing up on me or for yelling at me?" and seeing the sides of his mouth quirking up into a small smile, she places the cloth down on the tray table next to his bed and as she grabs one of the cups, "John?"

Slitting his eyes open and seeing the cup, "mouthwash?"

Nodding and handing it to him, "yeah. Carson left it, along with some water."

Swishing it around his mouth, he spits it back into the cup and as he hands the cup back to her, "why do you put up with me?"

Sighing, as she places the cup down on the table and picks up the other one, she plays with the straw for a couple of seconds, "because."

"Because why?"

Placing the straw to his lips, "take a couple of sips."

Doing as he's told, he takes two sips before his stomach tells him to stop and pushing her hand away, looking her in the eyes, "you didn't answer my question."

Placing the cup down on the tray, she stands up and starts to pace a little, mostly to keep herself awake, "John, the reason why I put up with you is because I love you, plain and simple. I mean I promised to marry you for heaven's sakes."

Sitting up straighter in the bed, running his hands through his hair, " I know that. But Lexi, I'm all wrong for you. I take chances with my life all the time and there's always the possibility that I won't come back. You deserve someone who's always gonna be there for you and take care of you. I can't promise that."

Stopping dead in her tracks, starring at him, "and who do you think would be a better choice for me?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, not meeting her eyes, "I don't know."

Feeling the color leaving her face, she walks over to his side and sitting down on the edge of the bed, gently gripping his chin to force him to look at her, worried at the heat that meets her fingers, "well then, let me tell you what I know. I know that you will always try your hardest to come back to me. You do in fact love me and I also know that you will always take care of me for as long as you can."

Rubbing his temples with his right hand and then pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm sorry…I have no idea…where that just came…from."

Seeing the pain lines etched across his forehead and feeling the heat starting to waft off him, "oh I think I do. Carson said to expect it."

Raising an eyebrow, "huh?"

Running her fingers through his hair, "you've got the Pegasus version of meningitis. It's one of the symptoms."

"How the hell did I catch it?" and realizing that he just raised his voice again, he winces, "sorry."

Rolling her eyes, "don't worry about it. It's gonna take more than mood swings to scare me off and according to Carson, you caught it on your last off world mission." and lying down next to him, forcing him to scoot over a little, she drapes her right arm over his stomach and resting her head on his chest, "g-d I love that sound."

Smiling as he closes his eyes, he inhales deeply and letting it out, trying to calm his stomach, as he really doesn't want to throw up again, "you're not the only one."

They lie in silence for a couple of minutes, until Lexi feels his breathing increasing. Sitting up quickly, she reaches for one of the clean emesis basins and gets it under his chin just in time. As she rubs circles on his back, she hits the call button that's next to the bed.

A few seconds later, as she is placing the used emesis basin on the tray, "Dr. Carter?"

Looking over at the north entrance to the room, "oh great. Danielle, can you bring me some Compazine?"

Nodding and walking out of the room, talking over her shoulder, "of course. I'll be right back."

"Lexi?"

Darting her eyes from the door to John, she feels her heart clench as the look of fear and confusion that is warring on his face, let her know that he's forgotten everything they just talked about, "yeah John, I'm here."

Reaching out for her, he pulls her down next to him and wraps her in his arms, "you're okay?"

Sighing and looking up at him, "I'm fine." and as he starts to shake and she sees the tears threatening to fall, she shifts so that she's holding him, "I've got you. It's gonna be okay."

Clinging to her, shaking like a leaf and trying to keep himself from crying, "what the hell is going on with me?"

"You're fighting the Pegasus version of meningitis, Colonel."

They look over to the north entrance to the room to see Beckett walking in to the room, another IV bag in hand. As he reaches John's left side, "Carson, what are you doing here? You should be sleeping."

Hanging the new bag on the IV pole and hooking it up to the IV line already hooked into John's left arm, "I could say the same thing to you love." and opening up the flow rate on the IV line, he reaches for the blood pressure cuff that is hanging on the IV pole, "that should kick in soon."

Wincing as the cuff tightens on his arm, John looks at Beckett and out of nowhere Beckett's face morphs into the face of a Wraith, teeth bared and snarling. Fear and adrenaline begin to course through him and as he starts shifting closer to Lexi, trying to shield her from Beckett, he doesn't hear Beckett's concerned voice asking if he's okay, or Lexi's trying calm him down.

The only thing he knows is that right now he has to keep the Wraith away from Lexi and the only way he knows how to do that is to try and physically harm it. So, swinging out with his left arm, he feels his hand connect with the Wraith's chest, sending it flying backwards. Satisfied that the Wraith is down for a moment, he rips out the IV and grabbing Lexi, he pulls her down off the other side of the bed, ignoring her pleading, "Lexi, shh! I'm gonna get us out of here, but I need you to stay quiet and do as I say."

Realizing that he is completely delusional, she tries to grab his face to force him to look at her, but he pushes her away from him. Instead, she looks across the floor to see Beckett struggling to get to his feet and out of the corner of her eye, she sees John trying to find something to use as a weapon. Whisper shouting, "Carson, get Ronon!"

Finally getting to his feet and making sure that John isn't focused on him, he nods his head and slowly makes his way out of the room, reaching up to activate his radio on the way, "Ronon come in."

"Go ahead doc."

"I need you down here now and bring your gun."

"I'm on my way."

As the radio link closes, Beckett grabs the supplies that he'll need to start a new IV as well as another bag of Compazine, figuring that it's a safe bet that John is still nauseous, but is too pumped up on adrenaline right now to notice. After gathering everything he needs, he quickly heads back over to the north entrance to the small room and waits for Ronon to arrive.

xxxx

Lexi had watched as Beckett hurried out of the room and as soon as he was gone, she immediately focused on John, who was still looking around the room for something to use as a weapon and flipping the gurneys over on their sides, so they could hide behind them.

Certain that they are alone in the room, she moves herself closer to him and gripping his arm, she doesn't miss the tremors running through his body, "John, listen to me. We're on Atlantis and we're safe."

Pulling her closer to the wall, but not looking at her, he continues to try to locate something that he can use to defend them with, picking up a few things and then discarding them. As he settles on using one of the empty emesis basins, he finally looks at Lexi and as he does so, reality reasserts itself.

Dropping the basin on the floor, swaying a little as the adrenaline wears off quickly, looking around the room, seeing the gurney's toppled on their sides, "Lexi?"

Reaching out to steady him, seeing the little color that had returned to his face, leaving it, "yeah John. Why don't you sit down?"

Shaking his head, but stopping mid shake as it causes his stomach to turn, he reaches out a hand to brace himself against the wall, "no. That Wraith needs to be taken care of and I need to keep you safe." and bending down to pick up the basin again, he pulls her down behind the gurney and peeking over it, "when he comes into the room, stay hidden until I tell you to move."

Frowning, but nodding her head in agreement, she watches as the clarity leaves his eyes and is replaced by menace and fear, "okay." and lying down on her stomach, she hears voices outside of the room and inwardly offers up a prayer that one of the people that she hears is Ronon.

xxxx

"Doc, what's going on?"

Frowning as Ronon comes to a stop next to him, "Colonel Sheppard is delusional and Lexi is in there with him. I need you to stun him so I can get him sorted out."

Matching his frown, "consider it done." and drawing out his gun, he sets it to stun and peeking around the doorframe he spots John and Lexi hunkered down behind one of the gurneys. Hiding the gun behind his back in his waistband, he inches his way into the room, hands up, "hey buddy, you want to come out from there?"

Peeking over the gurney, "Ronon?"

Inching further into the room, "yeah Sheppard. It's me. You're not looking so hot. How about you let the doc take a look at you?"

"Can't. He's a Wraith."

Looking behind him and then back at John, "okay. Then how bout you let me get Lexi to safety and then we can go hunt him together?"

Looking down at Lexi, meeting her eyes and then back at Ronon, "no can do Chewy. I need to keep an eye on her."

Sighing but using his chin to motion towards the other exit to the room, "all right. Then how bout we all go that way and go after him?"

Swallowing a couple of times to keep his stomach in check and standing up slowly, he starts to head for the south exit to the room but before he can take a step, he hears Ronon's blaster powering up and just as he turns around, he feels himself enveloped by the red light and the last thing he is aware of is the feeling of falling.

Eyes going wide, Lexi moves as quickly as she can and just manages to slow John's fall down to the ground. As she rests his head on her lap, she looks up at Ronon and seeing the smile on his face, "what are you smiling at?"

Shrugging as he re-holsters his gun, "it really never gets old." and looking over his shoulder, "doc, you can come in now."

Running her fingers through John's hair, frowning as heat and sweat meet her fingers, she looks up just as Beckett reaches John's left side, "he's burning up again."

Laying the IV bags and needle kit on the floor next to him, pulling a Band-Aid out of his pocket, handing it to her, "aye love. I'm not surprised. It would explain this latest episode."

Opening up the Band-Aid and covering the old IV site in John's left forearm with it, "how long is this supposed to last?"

Finished taking John's pulse, reaching for the needle kit, tearing it open, "a few more days at the most." and swabbing the top of John's left hand, finding a vein on the first try, "his latest blood work came back clean."

Hearing a grunt from behind Beckett, Lexi looks over his shoulder to see Ronon repositioning the turned over gurneys and bringing her focus back to Beckett, "so the delusional mood swings, nausea and fever are?"

Leaning forward, inserting his stethoscope into his ears, lifting up John's scrub top, "according to the ancient database, they're the last symptoms to disappear." and pulling the stethoscope out from under John's shirt, "although, I have to say that I'm glad he won't remember any of this."

"Doc?"

Lifting his head to look up at Ronon, "aye lad. Help me move him onto the bed." and looking at Lexi, "can you grab the IV bags, love?"

As Lexi lifts the IV bags up and out of the way, Beckett maneuvers himself so that he can grab John from under his arm pits and as soon as Ronon has John's feet, they lift him gently up off the floor and carry him over to the gurney. Laying him on it, Ronon stands at the end of it, watching John with concern, while Lexi hangs the IV bags on the pole that is still next to it and Beckett raises the guardrails.

After raising them, he turns to head out of the room, "I'll be back in a jiff."

Picking up the chair that is lying on the floor and sitting down on it, Lexi leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands and lets out a sigh.

"You okay?"

Sitting up and looking over at Ronon, she frowns, "no. I'm not okay."

"You should tell Beckett."

Looking over at John, "it's nothing he can do anything about."

"Are you sure?"

Smiling and looking at him as Beckett walks in the room, "yeah Ronon. I'm sure."

"You're sure about what love?"

Looking over at the north entrance to the room, "it's nothing Carson. Don't worry about it." and leaning forward, she reaches through the bedrail and takes John's right hand in hers, rubbing her eyes with her other hand.

Emptying a syringe into John's IV, "Ronon, Teyla just radioed to say that she and Kanaan are waiting for you in the mess."

Running his eyes over John, "I can hang out if you want."

Disposing the syringe in the hazardous waste bucket, looking over at him, "no need. He won't be waking up for a while."

Frowning, but heading out of the room, talking over his shoulder, "okay. Feel better Lexi."

Slowly lifting her head up, smiling, "thanks Ronon. I'll see you later."

Taking John's blood pressure, looking up from the blood pressure cuff, "are you okay love?"

Rubbing her forehead, "yeah. I'm just tired." and standing up slowly, "he's gonna be out for a while, right?"

Hanging the blood pressure cuff on the IV pole, coming around the bed to her side, taking her by the elbow, "aye, long enough for you to get some sleep as well."

Looking up at him, as he helps her into the other bed, letting out an inaudible sigh, as it feels really good to be lying horizontal, "thanks Carson."

Raising an eyebrow as he takes her pulse, "for what?"

Letting her eyes close, "for being here...for us."

Smiling and reaching for the thermometer that somehow managed not to get knocked onto the floor, "ach, it's my pleasure love." and looking at her as he inserts the thermometer into her ear, his smile widens as she is already fast asleep and withdrawing the thermometer, his smile falters a little as he sees the reading on the screen.

Shaking his head, he places the thermometer down and heads out of the room. Walking over to the nearest medicine cabinet, he pulls out a package of Tylenol and heads back into the small room.

Reaching Lexi's side he gently grips her shoulder, "Lexi?"

Letting out a moan, but opening her eyes to slits, "Carson, I thought you…wanted…me to…sleep."

Smiling, "I do. But I'd like you to take these first."

Pushing herself up, accepting the Tylenol he hands her with a cup of water, "I'm fine. But okay."

Pointing over his shoulder, "it's frightening how much you sound like him." and chuckling at the glare she gives him as she hands the cup back to him, "anyways, you're not fine. Your body is still recovering, which is why you're running a fever. So forgive me if I want to keep ahead of it."

Smiling as she shifts on the bed, pulling the blankets up over her chest, "you're forgiven." and snuggling further down in the bed, "can I go to back to sleep?"

Patting her shoulder, "aye. Sleep tight love."

Closing her eyes, she turns over onto her right side and listening to Beckett's footsteps echoing on the floor as he leaves the room, she lets out a sigh as she can't believe how tired she feels. A few minutes later, after tossing and turning and trying to get her brain to shut off, she opens her eyes to stare at the ceiling and lets out another sigh.

Realizing why she's having such a hard time falling asleep, she tosses the blankets off of herself and sitting up, she swings her legs over the side of the gurney and slowly stands up. Shuffling her way over to John's bed, she climbs into it and cuddling up next to him, his back to her stomach, she drapes her arm over his waist and entwines her fingers with his. Kissing the back of his neck, she closes her eyes and is out like a light in seconds.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chap. 12:

* * *

**

_Opening his eyes, John feels his insides twist as he is confronted with the scene that took place the last time he saw Ford._

"_Down that hall, fifty meters, turn left. It'll take you to Teyla and Ronon's cell. I'll hold the Wraith back for you."_

_Walking towards Ford, "you're coming with me."_

"_I'll hold the Wraith back, boss. Now go. I'll be ok."_

"_I'm not going without you, Lieutenant."_

"_John. I'll catch up. Now go!"_

_Hearing the wraith alarms echoing through the ship, watching Ford run away from him, "Ford!" and realizing that Ford didn't hear him and he better get going, "oh crap."_

_All of a sudden his surroundings change and he is lying in his infirmary bed, Lexi holding him and Beckett has just morphed into a Wraith. Before the fear that he had felt can grip him fully he feels himself slipping back into unconsciousness._

Bolting up in bed, feeling his heart thundering in his chest and trying to catch his breath, he darts his eyes around the room and realizing that he's in Lexi's quarters, he looks down on his right side and smiles as Lexi is sleeping soundly next to him.

Running his hands through his hair, he shivers and rubs his temples, as he still can't seem to shake the headache that has been plaguing him since Beckett released them from the infirmary. Quietly getting out of the bed and grabbing his hoody, which is hanging on the back of the desk chair, he pulls it over his head and heads out onto the balcony.

Reaching the railing, he grips it tightly and takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Leaning forward and resting his elbows on the railing, he looks up at the sky and gets lost in his thoughts.

"John?"

Nearly jumping out of his skin, he turns his head to look behind him and grimacing, "sheesh Lexi, a little warning would be nice."

Walking up to him and pulling him into her, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest, "sorry." and feeling him tightening his grip around her, "nightmare?"

Shivering a little as a chill runs through him, "yeah." and pulling away just enough to look down at her, "don't bite my head off, but d'you have anything for it?"

Standing on her toes, she leans in and kisses him and as she pulls back, "how long have you had the headache?"

Sighing and frowning at her, "why does it matter?"

Pulling him inside and towards the bed, matching his sigh, "John."

Letting her help him into the bed, "Lexi, it's just a headache." and seeing the concern mixed with annoyance written across her face, as she sits down on the edge of the bed, "oh fine. I've had it off and on since Beckett released us."

Shaking her head, she gets up and walking over to the desk, "you really are stupid sometimes you know that?"

Closing his eyes and sinking further into the mattress, wincing as the loudness of her voice ping pongs around in his head, "ah Lexi. Not so loud please." and hearing her muttering to herself about what he's not sure, he let's himself drift as now that he's lying down, he can't seem to stop himself.

"John?"

Blearily blinking his eyes open, it takes a second for them to focus and as they do so, he sees Lexi's concerned face staring back at him, "huh?"

Holding out a water bottle and two pills, "here, take these."

Propping himself up against the pillows, accepting the water and pills, eyeing them skeptically, "what are they?"

Standing up and walking around to her side of the bed, climbing into it, "something stronger than what you've been taking." and seeing the apprehension on his face, "they won't leave you loopy, I promise."

Downing the pills, he hands her the bottle and sliding further down in the bed, closing his eyes, he lets out a breath as he can already feel the jack hammers receding.

A few seconds later, he squints his eyes open as he feels her cuddling up to him, "so how much longer are these nightmares going to last?"

"Well, I'm not really sure." and shrugging her shoulders in response to the look he gives her, "but hopefully it shouldn't be too much longer."

Grimacing, "great. Just great." and scrubbing his hands over his face, "you know, this isn't exactly how I expected to spend my vacation. I should've been back on duty three weeks ago."

Matching his grimace, "I know and I'm sorry about that."

Looking her in the eyes, "Lexi, you've got nothing to be sorry about."

Fingering his dog tags, looking down at them, "yeah I do. If I hadn't gotten bitten by the snake…"

Gently gripping her chin, forcing her to look at him, "Lexi, none of this is your fault. Okay?"

Frowning, "but." and before she can say anything else, he's kissing her to stop her from talking.

Ten minutes later as he pulls away, "okay?"

Smiling a little, "okay." and not missing the exhaustion in his voice, "how about we go back to sleep?"

Smiling back at her, "that's a great idea." and letting his eyes slide shut, "love...you."

Shifting so that her head is resting on his chest, "love you too." and a couple of seconds later her breathing evens out and matches his.

xxxx

Five hours later, Lexi blearily blinks open her eyes and rolling over onto her right side, she blinks them a couple more times to bring the numbers on the clock into focus. Shaking her head as the 0730 sharpens, she let's out a sigh and turning over onto her left side, panic engulfs her as John isn't lying next to her.

Sitting up quickly, "John?"

A couple of nerve-racking seconds later, she lets out a breath of relief as John slowly walks out of the bathroom, "yeah?"

Watching him carefully, "you okay?"

Climbing into the bed, he leans over and kisses her and as he pulls back, "well, the headache's not as bad. So yeah, I'm good."

Frowning as she watches him pull the blankets over himself, "but it's not gone completely?"

Matching her frown, "Lexi, I'm fine."

Sliding on top of him, looking him in the eyes, "are you sure?"

Reaching up to push a piece of hair behind her ear, "I'm sure." and pulling her down on top of him, "let me show you." and capturing her lips with his, he kisses her, smiling through it as she pulls him up into a sitting position and pulls his hoody and t-shirt up over his head, tossing them on the floor.

With his shirts off, he shivers a little as the cool air of the room hits his skin, but the feeling is quickly forgotten as Lexi pushes him back down onto the bed and he feels her lips whispering across the skin on his stomach and chest, causing him to let out a moan of content.

xxxx

"Carson, where the hell are Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla and Lexi?"

Looking up from his breakfast tray, "well hello to you too Rodney." and seeing Keller walking up behind him, "Jennifer, welcome back."

Sitting down across from him, "yes. Yes. Hello. But I'll ask again, where is everyone?"

Taking a sip of his coffee, "well, Ronon is with Kanaan, Teyla and Torren on New Athos." and looking down at his watch, "and Lexi and Colonel Sheppard should be in Lexi's quarters, still asleep."

Staring at him, stunned, "why is Ronon with Teyla and why are Sheppard and Lexi still asleep?"

"Ronon is with Teyla because Lexi and Colonel Sheppard are still recovering."

Gently placing a hand on McKay's arm, interrupting him, "recovering from what?"

Looking at Keller, "a snake bite and the Pegasus version of meningitis."

Sharing a look with McKay, "oh."

Taking a bite of his eggs, "aye."

"Are they okay?"

Looking between them, "well as of three weeks ago, all their test results came back clean. So, I released them to Lexi's quarters with orders to take it easy."

"Have you seen them since then?"

Finishing his coffee, "no love, but I've had regular radio contact with them and they sound fine."

Standing up quickly, "you haven't seen them for three weeks, but you're trusting that they're telling the truth about being okay. How long have you known Sheppard?"

Looking up at him, "Rodney, I'm sure that Lexi wouldn't lie to Carson about how she and Colonel Sheppard are feeling. She took the same oath as we did." and turning to look at Beckett, "who was bitten and who had the meningitis?"

Smiling his appreciation at Keller and watching as McKay sits down again, "Lexi was bitten and Colonel Sheppard had the meningitis." and smile turning into a frown, "I hate to say it, but it was closer than it should've been. It's truly a miracle they're still with us."

Sitting forward, looking from Keller to Beckett, "a miracle. How close are we talking here Carson?"

Finishing his coffee, "I was ready to call all of you back to Atlantis."

Sharing a look with Keller, "why didn't you?"

"Rodney, they pulled through and they really are fine."

Standing up quickly again, rushing out of the mess, talking over his shoulder, "well then you won't mind if I just go see for myself."

"Rodney wait!" and sharing a look with each other, Keller and Beckett, rush after McKay.

xxxx

Eyes snapping open, Lexi strains her hearing to try and figure out what sound had woken her up. A few seconds later, just as she is about to close her eyes again and fall back to sleep, she hears the sound again and suddenly realizing what it is she turns over onto her left side, to see John curled in on himself, shaking like a leaf, sweat beading his forehead.

Feeling her stomach twist into knots of worry, she reaches out to pull him into her arms, only to pull back in surprise as he bolts up right and immediately turns on her, wrapping his hands around her throat, pinning her to the bed, "leave me alone!"

Gasping for air and trying to pull his hands away from her throat, "John…listen…to…my voice…it's me, Lexi."

Coming to his senses, he quickly lets go of her throat and horrified that one of his nightmares just played itself out in real life he tries to scramble out of the bed, only to fall out of it. As he pulls his legs into his chest and buries his head in his arms on top of his knees, it also hits him that he dreamt this as well.

As the rest of that nightmare plays itself out in his mind, "no, no, no. Not again. I…can't."

Climbing out of the bed, Lexi picks up her tank top from the floor and pulling it on, she tip toes her way over to his side, not wanting to spook him. As she kneels down on his right side, she frowns as she hears, "no, no, no. Not again. I…can't."

Feeling her heart clench, she sits down facing him and resting her hands on his arms, "John?"

Hearing his name, he looks up and as he realizes that Lexi is sitting in front of him, concern written across her face, "Lexi?"

Squeezing his arm gently, "yeah."

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, "I almost…"

Pulling him into her arms, wrapping her arms around him, "but you didn't."

Burying his head in her shoulder, "damn it Lexi! I'm sorry."

Rubbing his back, "it's fine John."

Talking into her shoulder, "no, it's not fine."

Kissing his neck, talking through it, "what can…I…do…then?"

Pulling back from her, glaring at her, "get angry at me, yell at me. Just don't tell me it's fine."

"But John."

"Lexi, please."

Frowning and standing up, looking down at him, "you really want me to get angry at you? Fine." and starting to pace back and forth, "where should I start? Oh I know, how about the fact that you don't make it easy for anyone to get close to you? Or that no matter how hard I try to, you always push me away! You think it's easy for me to see you suffering? G-d John, I love you so much that it hurts, it physically hurts when you pull away from me and don't let me in!" and feeling the tears streaming down her face, she angrily swipes them away as she sits down hard on the foot of the bed, burying her face in her hands.

Completely stunned by the fact that she actually yelled at him, he pushes himself up off of the floor and sitting down next to her, he pulls her into his arms, frowning as she sobs into his chest.

xxxx

"Rodney, don't you think you should at least ring the bell?"

Reaching for the door control panel, taking it off, looking at Keller, "no." and returning his attention to the panel, "I don't."

"Rodney, I'm telling you they're fine."

Looking at Beckett, "Carson, if they're fine, why haven't you seen them over the past three weeks?"

Sighing, "probably because they haven't wanted to see anyone but each other." and seeing that this only spurs McKay on in his attempts to override the door controls, "Rodney, leave them be. They know that everyone is back from Earth. I'm sure they'll make an appearance when they're good and ready."

Looking over his shoulder, "but…"

Gripping his arm gently, "Rodney, give them a little space. I know that you want to see that they're okay, just as much as I do. But Carson's right."

Looking at her hands on his arm and then up at her face, "oh…okay." and replacing the cover on the panel, "I should be checking in on the labs anyway."

Smiling and falling into step with Keller and McKay, "good lad. So how was it back on Earth?"

xxxx

Pulling out of his arms a little, looking up at him, "do you think…they're really gone?"

Cupping her face in his hands, brushing some tears away with his thumbs, "yeah. I think so." and leaning in he kisses her and as he pulls away a few seconds later, "Lexi, why didn't you tell me how you felt sooner?"

Shrugging, "because I guess I thought it was the right way to deal with you."

Pulling her into a hug, resting his chin on her shoulder, "if it helps, I think you were right. Most shrinks I've been forced to see always pushed and I just. You know."

Pushing him away to arms length, looking him in the eyes, "but that's the thing John. I do know. I've read everything in your file."

Smirking, "and you still want to marry me?"

Smiling and leaning in, she kisses him again and as she pulls away, "yes. I still want to marry you. But do me a favor?"

Returning the smile, "that depends on what you want me to do."

Rolling her eyes, "John, I'm serious."

"Okay, okay. Sorry. What is it?"

Standing up and holding out her right hand, "let me in all the way."

Frowning as he lets her pull him to his feet, "I have let you in all the way."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, "no John you haven't and don't get me wrong, I know that you've probably told me more than you've ever told anyone else. But you haven't told me everything."

Resting his hands on the small of her back, sighing, "Lexi, there are things that I can't tell you."

Frowning, "like what happened in Afghanistan?"

Fisting his hands in the back of her tank top, not meeting her eyes, "you really have read everything, haven't you?"

Gently gripping his chin, forcing him to look at her, "yes. I have." and dropping her hand to his dog tags, running her thumb over the raised lettering, "so stop being a stubborn son of a bitch and let me in all the way."

Raising an eyebrow at her, "wow. Someone sure is taking this getting angry at me, seriously."

Hitting his shoulder lightly and pulling out of his arms, "well, you did ask me to."

Following her into the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe, he crosses his arms over his chest, watching as she reaches for her toothbrush and the toothpaste, "yeah, I did." and walking up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, he kisses the nape of her neck and talking though it, "it's…just that…you usually…don't listen to me."

Pulling her toothbrush out of her mouth, leaning forward she spits into the sink, "well it's only fair. You usually don't listen to me." and washing out her mouth, spitting out the water, "but I thought this time would be as good as any to start." and placing the toothbrush in its holder, she turns around in his arms, resting her arms on his shoulders, "so, will you let me in all the way?"

Grimacing, "if I don't will you still?"

Frowning, "will I still love you or will I still marry you?"

Looking her in the eyes, trying to gauge her reaction, "um, both."

Sighing and pulling him into a hug, "John, to quote one of my favorite movie lines, 'you had me at hello.'"

Hugging her tighter, "really?"

Feeling his arms tightening around her, she tightens her grip on him too, "yes really." and feeling him relaxing his grip on her, she leans back a little, looking up at him, "so now that you know there's no chance of losing me…"

Not meeting her eyes again, "but."

Frowning, "no John. Listen to me, okay?" and seeing him nod, "I've told you this so many times that it really is getting old. I know that I've said that it's not, but it is. You have a family here. Your team loves you, as do I and when you love someone you take the good with the bad. I also know that there is always a chance that I might lose you one day and I accepted that fact a long time ago."

Matching her frown, "see that's the problem. You shouldn't have had to accept that."

Running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, "John, it was my choice and I have no regrets."

Leaning in to kiss her, talking through it, "are…you…sure?"

Pulling back, slightly, her heart drops into her stomach as she sees the emotions in his eyes, "yes John. I'm sure." and mentally turning on the shower, "now, how bout we shower and head down to grab some breakfast. I think there are a few people that want to see us."

Smiling as he pulls her tank top over her head, tracing every curve of her body with his eyes, "yeah. Okay."

They both undress, completely and step into the shower. An hour later, Lexi is sitting on the couch in her quarters and as she looks from John, who is sitting on the bed, lacing up his sneakers, to her watch which reads, 0930, "John, are you okay?"

Sitting up and looking at her, "I'm fine. Why?"

Leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees, "well, you usually don't take an hour to get ready."

Sighing as he stands up, "Lexi, I'm fine. Really. So let's get going."

Matching his sigh, she also stands up and walking over to him, "are you worried about seeing everyone?"

Pulling her into his arms, shrugging his shoulders a little as she fixes his shirt collar, "I guess, a little."

Resting her hands on his chest, "it's okay to feel that way."

Gripping her hands in his, looking down at them, "maybe. But I don't know why I feel this way and it's annoying the hell outta of me."

"John look at me." and smiling as he listens to her, "you have every right to feel this way. You've had a hard couple of months and it's no surprise that you're feeling a little vulnerable right now."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, "but Lexi, it's not like I haven't been through worse."

Rolling her eyes, "John, I know that you've been through worse. But think about it. First you end up having to relive your worst fears because of the Sekkari device and then you come down with meningitis, on top of having to watch me almost die." and seeing the look he gives her, "all I'm saying is that you didn't have any time to put everything back in their boxes. So don't worry if it takes a little bit longer for you to feel normal again."

Grimacing, "will it keep Beckett from clearing me this afternoon?"

Pulling out of his arms and leading him out of the doors, "no, he should clear you. The only thing that might keep him from doing so would be the headaches you've been having."

Walking next to her, his right arm draped over her shoulders, he looks down at her, "well I haven't had one in a couple of hours. Whatever you gave me really did the trick." and stopping in front of the transporter doors, "are you going to clear me?"

Smiling up at him as she swipes the control panel for the transporter, "already done. I sent it off to Mr. Woolsey while you were getting ready."

Hitting the screen for the mess hall, smiling at her, "thanks."

Stepping out of the transporter, smiling and nodding her head at the people that send "hellos" their way, "I only cleared you because I know that getting back to work will help you put things back into their boxes, more quickly." and feeling his right hand sliding into her left, she slides herself closer to him and as they continue walking into the mess, she lowers her voice so that only he'll hear her, "I'm right here."

Squeezing her hand to let her know that he heard her, he leads her over to the food line and letting go of her hand, they each grab trays and after filling them and grabbing a cup of coffee, they head out to the balcony, taking a seat at the team's table.

xxxx

"Hey Jen. Welcome back."

Looking up from her computer, Keller smiles as she gestures at the chairs across from her, "thanks Lexi. How're you feeling?"

Sitting down, returning Keller's smile, "I'm fine. How was Earth?"

Frowning, "it was great. But Lexi, Carson told me what happened while we were gone. So I'll ask again, how are you?"

Sighing, "Jen, I really am fine. As a matter of fact, you can see for yourself. I'm here for my clearance check."

Standing up and walking around her desk, "all right then, let's get you checked out."

Also standing up, smiling at Keller as they walk out of the office, "so did you have fun with Rodney?"

Patting the gurney under the Ancient scanner, smiling as she watches Lexi climb onto it, "I had a wonderful time with him."

xxxx

Two hours later, Lexi is sitting on a gurney chatting with Keller, as Keller finishes up her notes on Lexi's file, giving her the all clear, when all of a sudden, "I'm sorry Colonel. You know the protocol." interrupts their conversation.

Looking over to the East entrance to the infirmary, Lexi smiles as she sees the exasperation on Beckett's face and the frown on John's as they make their way towards the Ancient scanner, which is two beds away from where she is sitting, "John, stop giving Carson a hard time."

Lying down on the bed, turning his head to look at her, "I'm not giving him a hard time."

Huffing out a laugh, pressing the start button on the tablet attached to the Ancient scanner, "that's like saying I'm the bloody King of England, lad." and watching the screen as the image pops up, "Jennifer, how is Lexi?"

Hitting save on the computer next to Lexi's gurney, "well except for being slightly anemic, she's all clear." and looking at Lexi from the computer, "I'm gonna prescribe some iron supplements and you should feel better in a couple of weeks."

"Doc, are you sure she's okay?"

Looking over at John, who is now sitting up on the gurney, having his blood drawn by Beckett, she is shocked by the emotion playing across his face, "yes Colonel. She's fine." and looking over at Beckett, "I'll bring those down to the labs Carson. That's where I have the iron supplements that I want to give to Lexi."

Pulling out the needle from John's arm, placing a cotton ball over the puncture sight and handing Keller the vials, "thanks love." and waiting until Keller is out of ear shot, he turns around to face John, "all right lad, how long have you had the headache?"

Looking over at Lexi, who frowns at him and back at Beckett, "how'd you know?"

Frowning as he hooks his stethoscope into his ears, "the scan lad. Up with your shirt."

Looking at Lexi again, seeing her mouthing, "tell him the truth." he grimaces as the bell of the stethoscope touches his skin, "since you released us. But I don't have one now."

Straightening up a few seconds later and slinging the stethoscope around his neck, grimacing, "John, I clearly remember telling you when I released the two of you to Lexi's quarters that you needed to tell me if something like this happened." and turning to face Lexi, "and you love, you should've known better."

Swinging her legs over the side of the gurney, standing up quickly and walking over to John's side, she glares at him but lets him take her right hand in his and looking at Beckett, "this isn't my fault Carson. John didn't tell me until this morning about the headaches."

Sighing as he reaches for the blood pressure cuff, "and you didn't have any clue?"

Wincing as the cuff tightens around his bicep, "Carson, don't blame Lexi."

"John, don't you dare cover for me."

Wincing again, "Lexi, you didn't know that I was hiding them."

Placing the blood pressure cuff on the tray table next to the gurney, "all right you two. That's enough. I don't care who knew what and who didn't know what." and typing up some notes on the computer by John's gurney, "all that I care about John, is that you've had a headache for three weeks and your pressure is little low." and heading towards the section of the infirmary where the labs are located, talking over his shoulder, "just sit tight for a wee bit longer."

Watching as Beckett walks away from them, feeling Lexi's eyes on him, he turns his head to look at her, "I thought you said he'd clear me."

Sitting down next to him, frowning, "no. I said that the headaches might cause him to not clear you."

Sighing, "great. This is just what I need."

Forty minutes later, just as John is about to wear a hole in the floor from pacing back and forth, Beckett and Keller show up and after a lecture from the two doctors about hiding things, John is cleared for active duty.

As they reach the West exit of the infirmary, John kisses Lexi on the cheek and with a promise to meet up for dinner with her and the rest of his team, they each head for their offices.

xxxx

"I should've never left."

Looking up and smiling at the owner of the voice, "I'm fine Evan. How was Hawaii?"

Walking around the desk, pulling Lexi out of her chair and giving her a hug, "it was great." and letting her go, running his eyes over her, "you sure?"

Sitting down again, focusing on her tablet, "yeah, I'm good." and looking up at him, she smiles as he's leaning against her desk, his arms crossed over his chest, "did you stop by just to say hi or was there something else?"

Sighing and uncrossing his arms, gripping the edge of the desk, "I'm concerned about the Colonel."

Raising an eyebrow, "why? Carson and Jen cleared him."

Shrugging, "I know that. But I just sat through a two-hour briefing with him and Mr. Woolsey and he was zoning out even more than he usually does."

Leaning back in her chair, looking him in the eyes, "he's fine Evan."

Smirking, "that's what he said and being that I don't feel like getting chewed out by my CO for calling him on it. I'm asking you. What's going on?"

This time it's her time to sigh, "it's been a rough couple of months for him Evan and I'm not surprised that he's zoning out."

Frowning, "but Lexi, if he's zoning out this much, he shouldn't be going on missions."

Matching his frown, "look, I wouldn't have cleared him if I didn't think that he could handle it."

"I don't doubt that. But you're too close to this."

Glaring at him, "are you questioning my ability to separate my personal feelings from my professional ones?"

"Yes, I am."

Standing up quickly, fisting her hands by her side, "he's fine Evan and if you don't believe me ask Dr. Santino. Carson had him come in to talk to us before he released us. He also signed off on John's clearance."

Holding his hands up in surrender, "whoa. Calm down. I just thought…"

Pointing a finger at him, shaking with anger, "Evan, I treated you when we were together. What makes you think I wouldn't be able to treat John?"

Reaching out for her hand and pulling her into a hug, "I'm sorry Lexi. It's just that I'm worried about him. Which is really weird cause I've had COs that I've cared about, but with Sheppard it's different."

Pulling out of his arms, smiling, "he does pull you in, doesn't he?"

Smiling back at her, "yeah, he sure does." and sitting down on the edge of the desk again, "so are we okay?"

Sitting down in the chair again, "yeah. We're good and don't worry about John. Okay?"

Standing up and leaning over, he kisses her cheek and straightening up he heads for the doors, talking over his shoulder, "okay. I'll see you later."

Smiling, she watches him until the doors close, blocking him from view and refocusing on her tablet, she gets lost in her work.

xxxx

"I guess things are back to normal around here."

Looking up from her tablet, she smiles as John is leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, "as normal as they ever get."

Pushing off the doorframe and walking into the office, "good point." and sitting down on the couch, "do you think you can pull yourself away from your work for a minute?"

Pushing back from her desk, "sure." and standing up, she walks around her desk and as she sits down, "what's up?"

Turning towards her, "well I have something to give you." and reaching into his pants pocket with his left hand, he pulls out a little black box.

Seeing the box, "John, what is that?"

Smiling and opening the box, he looks up at her as he hears her gasp and taking the ring out of the box, "it's what belongs on your finger now that you've said yes." and taking her left hand in his, he slides the ring on her ring finger, where it fits perfectly with his mom's ring.

Looking from him to the ring, which is set in platinum with twenty brilliant cut diamonds on the band, leading up to a central oval-shaped diamond, which is at least four carats and back at him, "John you shouldn't have. It's too much."

Frowning, "what's wrong with me wanting to spoil you?"

Taking his face in her hands, leaning in to kiss him, she smiles as he kisses her back, the hunger in the kiss the same as the first time they kissed. A few minutes later, pulling back slightly but keeping her arms wrapped around his shoulders, "there is nothing wrong with you wanting to spoil me. But don't you think people will talk when they see the size of it?"

Smirking, "probably. But let them talk." and pulling her to her feet, "you wanna head to bed?"

Looking at her watch, "but it's only 1740 and we're supposed to meet up…" she trails off as she sees the glint in his eye and smiling up at him, "lead the way Colonel."

Pulling her out of her office they head directly for her quarters, where once inside, he mentally locks the doors. They kiss their way over to the bed and falling on top of it, they make love as if they haven't made love in ages.

Three hours later, Lexi can only smile to herself as she and John head off to the mess to have dinner with his team. As she sits down at the table, her smile widens and she sighs in content as everything is as John said earlier, "back to normal."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chap. 13:**

* * *

A week later Lexi walks out of the mess hall carrying a bottle of water and an apple. As she stops outside of the transporter, she reaches out to swipe the control crystal, but stops as John's voice comes over her radio. Reaching up to activate it, "go ahead John."

"Lexi, I'm gonna have to take a rain check on our sparring match."

Frowning to herself as she swipes the control crystal and walks into the transporter, "is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure yet. Todd's ship just showed up in orbit and Woolsey asked us to check it out. I just left the chair room and I'm on my way to gear up now."

Stepping out of the transporter in the hallway leading to her office, "don't worry about the sparring. Just be safe."

"Yes ma'am. See you later. Sheppard out."

As the channel shuts off, Lexi walks into her office and sitting down at her desk, biting into the apple she opens up her email client and goes through them, waiting for her next appointment to show up.

Thirty minutes later, "knock, knock."

Looking up from her tablet, "hey Jen. You're early."

Smiling as she sits down across from her, "yeah. I know. It's okay, right?"

Returning her smile, "of course. So what's up?"

Sticking her chin out at the rings on Lexi's left hand, "I was wondering how you knew that Colonel Sheppard was the one?"

Looking down at the rings, fiddling with the engagement ring as it still feels weird on her finger, due to its size, "I just knew."

Wringing her hands together, "but how did you know?"

Shrugging and leaning back in her chair, "I guess I couldn't see my life without him." and seeing the look on Keller's face, "are you asking because you feel the same way about Rodney?"

Staring at her, shock written across her face, "what? no. I mean." and looking away from Lexi again, shrugging, "well maybe."

Smiling, "that's great Jen."

Looking at her again, seeing her smile, she smiles a little too, "yeah. It is. I guess I'm just a little surprised by how fast it happened."

Shaking her head, chuckling a little, "can I tell you a secret?"

Leaning forward, "sure."

Also leaning forward, lowering her voice a little, even though they're alone in the office, "I fell in love with John the first moment I met him. It was a little scary to tell you the truth. I had never fallen for someone so quickly before."

Leaning back in her chair, "well that's good to know. I just hope he feels the same way. I mean, he was wonderful when we were back on Earth. But it's just so hard to tell with him. How do you deal with it?"

Standing up and heading for the couch, motioning for Keller to join her, "how do I deal with the fact that John sucks at sharing his feelings?"

Getting up and walking over to the couch, "yeah. They're not the most emotionally open people."

Snorting, "you don't say?" and seeing the eye roll Keller gives her, "well, I call him on it constantly."

"So I should do that too?"

Nodding her head, "I think you should do exactly what you've been doing."

Smiling and letting out a breath of relief, "thanks Lexi. That's exactly what I wanted to hear." and reaching for Lexi's left hand, looking at the engagement ring, "it really is stunning. He has amazing taste."

Looking at the ring, "he sure does." and looking up at her, changing the topic, "so Todd is back?"

Frowning, "yeah, I just hope he's not…" and reaching up to activate her radio, "Keller here. Yes, okay, I'll be there." and shutting off the radio, "I've got to go. Rodney and the team just got back and Mr. Woolsey wants me to go back to Todd's ship with them."

Raising an eyebrow, "really?"

Getting up, "yeah. Apparently Todd administered the gene therapy to his crew and it didn't work well." and heading for the doors, "I'll see you later."

Watching her head out of the office, "yeah. Be careful up there." and just before Keller reaches the doors, "oh hey Jen?"

Stopping and turning to face Lexi, "yeah?"

Biting her bottom lip, "can you ah. Can you keep an eye on John?"

Concern flitting across her face, "why, is something wrong?"

Frowning, "well, I'm not sure. He was in the chair earlier and sounded a little off when he radioed earlier. But could you?"

Smiling as she turns to walk out of the office again, "of course. But don't worry so much."

Shaking her head and refocusing on her tablet, talking to herself, "I can't help it. It's John."

xxxx

Keller headed straight to the infirmary from Lexi's office. An hour later, as she is packing the last of the supplies she can think of to bring with her, her first chance to keep her promise to Lexi presents itself, "hey doc, you ready?"

Snapping the latches shut on the container in front of her, looking up from it, "yes Colonel. I'm all set." and picking up the container, "this is the last of it. Everything else is already on board the jumper." and walking over to him, running her eyes over him, "so I hear you were in the chair earlier?"

Taking the container from her, shrugging as he falls into step next to her, "yeah, for a bit."

Stepping in to the transporter, "and you feel okay?"

Sighing as he lets her walk out of the transporter first, "jeeze, just because I passed out one time after using the damn thing, doesn't mean that every time I use it I'm gonna end up flat on my back. If you remember, I was kind of operating on no sleep at the time. We all were." and as he steps out of the transporter in the Jumper bay, a thought hits him and turning to look at her, "did Lexi put you up to this?"

Walking past him into the Jumper, "sort of."

Sighing and shaking his head, _great, just what I need right now._ and as he follows her onboard the Jumper, he plasters a smile on his face, inwardly hoping that the rest of the mission will work out better than the past five minutes have.

xxxx

"Dr. Carter, please come in."

Looking up from her tablet, tapping her radio, "Lexi here. Go ahead Mr. Woolsey."

"Dr. Carter, I need you to join me in my office right away please."

Feeling the icy tendrils of fear starting to creep into her stomach, she takes a deep breath and standing up, "I'll be right there. Carter out." and leaning over, she hits the button on her tablet that will send out the cancellation notices to the patients she has yet to see today. That done, she heads out of her office for the transporter, inwardly offering up a prayer that everything is okay.

xxxx

Around five hours after the teams had returned to Todd's ship, John is sitting on a crate in the med lab, trying to figure out how everything could have gone south so quickly.

"Colonel? John?"

Coming back to the present, he sees Keller standing in front of him, a look of concern on her face and looking around, "where'd everyone go?"

Leaning over, she grips his chin and turning his head to get a better look at the cuts on the right side of his neck and cheek, "they're on their way up to the bridge."

Swiping her hand away, "I'm fine. Leave 'em."

Straightening up, "I should really clean them. They're not bleeding that badly. But who knows what was on the Wraith's hand? They could get infected."

Standing up, he picks up his rifle and looking at her, "doc, not right now. Okay?" and heading out of the lab, looking at her over his shoulder, "come on, we should meet up with everyone."

Shaking her head, but following him out of the med lab, "okay. But let me know if anything starts to feel off."

Rolling his eyes, but nodding, "will do."

xxxx

"John?"

Slowly but surely awareness starts to assert itself and as it does so, John realizes that someone is trying to wake him up.

Ignoring the voice for a moment, he runs through the checklist that has become an all too common occurrence since he came to Pegasus, _sore? Check. Headache from hell? Check. Hot? Check._

Coming to the conclusion that he liked being unconscious a whole lot more, he tries to fall back to sleep. He almost succeeds at dropping back off, only to startle a little as he feels someone's hand taking his left and squeezing it gently.

Inwardly smiling as he realizes who the owner of the hand is, he squeezes back and peeling his eyes open, he is rewarded with Lexi's concerned face staring back at him, "hey." he grits out.

Smiling and holding a straw up to his lips, "sip it slowly."

Doing as he's told, he sucks the water up the straw, relishing the feeling of it on the back of his parched throat. After drinking all he can manage he pushes the cup away and locking eyes with Lexi, "is everyone okay?"

"Everyone is fine Colonel."

They look over to the South entrance to the room to see Keller striding towards them. As she stops next him, reaching for his right wrist, "how are you feeling?"

Sighing, "doc."

Letting go of his wrist, frowning as she meets his gaze, "Colonel."

Reaching up to scrub his face, he feels the tug of an IV in the back of his hand and staring at it, "ah, what's with this?"

Looking at Lexi and back at John, "do you remember those cuts you didn't let me clean?"

Scrubbing his face again, as he really does feel completely rotten, "they got infected?"

Reaching for the thermometer that is sitting on the bedside tray, sticking it in his ear, "yes, they did. But, I cleaned them up and they should heal without leaving any scars." and pulling the thermometer out of his ear a couple of seconds later, frown deepening at the reading, "I'll be right back." and with a glance at Lexi, she heads out of the room.

"John?"

Pulling his eyes away from the doorway, looking at Lexi, "what?"

Leaning forward, she kisses him, smiling as she feels him relaxing against her and as she pulls back, "relax. Okay?"

Frowning at her, "I'm stuck in the infirmary. Again. And you want me to relax?"

Matching his frown, she runs her fingers through his hair, "yes, I do." and seeing the glare he is fixing her with, "okay. What can I do to make it easier for you to relax?"

Closing his eyes, as the feeling of her fingers running through his hair, helps lessen the pounding that has taken up residence behind his eyes, "Keller said everyone is fine. But…the last thing I remember is crashing into the ocean. So, could you tell me how…everyone is really doing?"

Continuing to run her fingers through his hair, smiling as she sees the pain lines lessening around his eyes, "everyone got knocked around a little, but except for being sore this morning…"

Snapping his eyes open, staring at her, "wait. What? How long have I been out?"

"Well Colonel, seeing as it's 0814, you've been out for about eighteen hours."

Watching as Keller walks up to his left side and injects something into his IV line, "why didn't you wake me up sooner? I've got to talk to Woolsey." and shifting in the bed, trying to get out of it, "what happened to Todd? Is he…"

Pushing him back against the pillow, "John calm down. Todd is secure and Mr. Woolsey said that you could stop by after Jen has released you."

Letting her push him back against the pillow, closing his eyes as the room spins a little, "but…"

Seeing the color leaving his face, "Colonel are you nauseous?"

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "mmm, hmm."

Sharing a look with Lexi again and heading out of the room, "okay, hang tight for a sec."

"John?"

Squinting his eyes open, looking at Lexi, "why does…this always…happen to me?"

Grimacing, "it does seem like that doesn't it?" and feeling his fingers entwining with hers, she leans forward and running her fingers through his hair again, "go back to sleep."

Smirking a little, but letting his eyes close, "you really…like…telling me…to do that."

Shaking her head, she smiles as she sees his breathing even out and sliding off the bed, she takes a seat in the chair next to it. Leaning back, she rests her head against the back of the chair and propping her feet up on the side of the bed, her right hand still holding John's left, she dozes off.

"Lexi?"

Eyes snapping open as she feels Keller's hand on her shoulder, "oh Jen."

Hanging a second IV bag on the pole, untangling the line from the blanket covering John, "sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

Trying to hide a yawn, "I'm good."

Taking John's pulse, "Lexi, Dr. Cole told me you were here all night with him."

Looking at Keller, "I slept Jen. How is he?"

Typing up notes on the computer next to John's bed, rolling her eyes at Lexi's stubbornness, "better. His temp is coming down and if it keeps coming down, I'll release him this afternoon."

Smiling as she shifts in the chair, "that's great." and returning her focus to John, "so how is Todd doing?"

Frowning as she turns to face Lexi, "not well. I don't have the right stuff to treat him with." and sighing as she heads out of the room, talking over her shoulder, "it's really a shame. I really thought the gene therapy would work."

Watching Keller walk out of the room, she brings her attention back to John as he shifts and mumbles in his sleep. Squeezing his hand gently, she rests her head against the back of the chair again and watches him sleep.

xxxx

"Lexi come in please."

Looking up from her tablet, tapping her earpiece, "go ahead Jen. What's up?"

"Is the Colonel with you?"

Frowning as she looks at the clock on her tablet, noting that it is 1740, "no. I haven't seen him since you kicked us all out of the infirmary." and getting up from her desk, heading for the doors, "I take it he left without your permission again?"

"Yeah. He snuck out while I was getting the antibiotics ready for his release."

Hitting the control for the transporter, "is he cleared for duty?"

"No. I want him to take it easy for the next seventy-two hours."

Getting out of the transporter in the crew quarters section, "if I find him, do you want him back down there?"

"No. He can stay with you. Just make sure he takes it easy. No running or sparring until I clear him on Monday."

Reaching the hallway where her quarters are, "wow. You weren't joking when you said you wanted him to take it easy."

"No I wasn't. I'm serious Lexi. His temp might have broken, but the infection weakened his immune system and there's a virus going around base."

"So he's liable to catch it, if he hasn't already."

"With his luck. Yeah. As a matter of fact, I'd like him to stay on the antibiotics for another week. It won't help him fight off this particular virus, but it'll keep the infection from coming back."

Reaching her quarters and swiping her way into her quarters, smiling to herself as she hears the shower running, "okay. I'll stop by to get them from you after dinner." and heading into the bathroom, "Carter out."

"Keller's pissed?"

Smiling even wider as she hears John's shouted question over the water, she leans against the sink, grabbing his towel, "you could say that."

Stepping out of the shower, accepting the towel from her and quickly running it over his hair and wrapping it around his waist, "yeah, well. I couldn't stay there any longer. I've got stuff to do."

Running her eyes over him, "you do know that you're not cleared yet, right?"

Frowning as he steps up to her and pulls her into his arms, "yeah. That much she told me before I snuck out of there." and leaning down to kiss her, talking through it, "does she…want me…back in the…infirmary?"

Pulling back and out of his arms, "no. She said you could stay here. But you've got to take it easy." and closing the toilet lid, sitting down on it, watching him as he reaches for his toothbrush and the toothpaste, "which means no running or sparring until she clears you on Monday. She also wants you on the antibiotics for another week."

Grimacing around the toothbrush, "why?"

Matching his grimace, "because she wants to play it safe." and standing up, "and with your luck, it's not such a bad idea."

Spitting into the sink, washing out his mouth and placing his toothbrush in the holder, he takes in his reflection in the mirror and realizing that she's right, as he still looks like crap, "this sucks."

Wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder, as he puts on some deodorant, "yeah. I know." and turning him around to face her, after he's put the deodorant back, "so, dinner?"

Leaning down to kiss her again and pulling back a couple of seconds later, "I'm not really hungry and I really need to check in with Woolsey."

Frowning, "John, you should really eat something."

Letting go of her and heading into the main part of the quarters, talking over his shoulder, "Keller told me that too. What is it with you doctors telling me that I've got to eat?" and pulling open a draw, taking out a pair of boxers, leaning over to pull them on, "it's not like I'm wasting away to nothing." and freezing in place as the realization of what he just said sinks in and he hears her intake of breath, "sorry."

Coming over to him, "it's okay." and picking up his towel from the floor, "go see Woolsey." and heading back into the bathroom, talking over her shoulder, "I'll grab you a sandwich from the mess for later."

Pulling on a pair of BDU pants, "turkey?"

Talking from inside the bathroom, "of course."

Smiling at her response, he pulls on his t-shirt, only to wince as the movement pulls on sore muscles, "hey Lexi?"

Walking out of the bathroom, catching the tail end of the wince, she heads directly for her desk and opening up the top draw, "yeah." and pulling out a bottle, spilling out two pills, "take these."

Accepting the pills she is handing him, looking at them skeptically, "Tylenol?"

Putting the pill bottle back in the safe, shutting the draw with her hip, "yeah. I haven't restocked my supplies."

Heading over to the mini fridge, leaning over to grab a bottle of water, he nods his head in understanding and straightening up, he downs the pills with a gulp of water and leaning over again, he puts the bottle back in the fridge.

Coming over to him, as he straightens up, she wraps her arms around his neck, "so, what are you going to do about Todd?"

Leaning down to kiss her, pulling back a few seconds later, "I'm not sure. That's what I want to talk to Woolsey about." and tightening his grip around her, "I did give Todd my word that I'd take him to this planet he was talking about. But, if I do that…"

Pulling him into a hug, "he could live."

"Yeah." and sighing, he reluctantly pulls out of her arms, heading over to the bed where he sits down on the edge of it and slips into his boots, "he could."

Walking over to stand in front of him, she looks down at him and the next thing she knows, he has his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his head is buried against her stomach. Feeling him shaking against her, she runs her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, a little worried that he's a little warmer then he should be, "John, what's wrong?"

"What the hell am I doing Lexi?"

Inwardly sighing, she reaches for his chin and forcing him to look at her, she's completely surprised by the emotions playing in his eyes, "you're doing what you need to do to keep everyone safe."

Pulling his chin out of her grip, resting his forehead against her stomach, "but every damn time I deal with Todd, things go sideways. What happens if we're not so lucky the next time?"

Gently pushing him away from her stomach, sitting down on his lap, she wraps her arms around his neck and looking him in the eyes, "you have a next time and that's all that matters right now." and leaning in to kiss him, she smiles through it as he cups her face in his hands and pulling back, "so for now, let's count this one as a win."

Resting his head on her left shoulder, "yeah, okay."

Not having missed the exhaustion he's trying to keep out of his voice, "you should go see Mr. Woolsey now."

Lifting his head up, meeting her gaze, "yeah." and letting her stand up, he does too and heading for the doors, looking over his shoulder, "I'll radio you when I'm done." and seeing her smile at him, her, "love you." follows him out the doors.

xxxx

Heading for the Control room, John runs a hand through his hair and over his face as he still feels pretty rotten, but not as bad as he had felt before Lexi gave him the Tylenol. Reaching the Gate room, he nods at the on duty marines as he passes them and walking up the stairs he nods at the on duty Control room staff as well.

Walking across the bridge leading into Woolsey's office, he smiles to himself as he sees the base commander sitting in an armchair reading a book. As he stops in the doorway to the office, Woolsey looks up, "Colonel. Good to see you back on your feet. How's the rest of your team?"

Heading for the chair across from Woolsey, "yeah. Recovering. Took quite a jolt when we hit the water."

Watching John, "I can imagine." and as John sits down, "you were lucky. By the time Major Kersey and his team were able to blast their way down to your position, the Hive, what remained of it, was already half full of water. It sank minutes after they extracted you."

Grimace-smirking, "hmm. Wish I was awake to see that." and looking at the CCTV feed screen to his right, which has an image of Todd on it, gesturing at it with his thumb, "how is he?"

"Not well. He hasn't responded to any treatment." and placing his bookmark in his book, closing it, "I received your request."

Looking at him, hopeful, "and?"

Placing the book down on the coffee table, "forgive me if I'm wrong, but weren't you the one who wanted to destroy his ship when it first appeared?"

"Mmm, sounds vaguely familiar."

"And now you want me to go against protocol and let him go."

"Well, he is the reason we're alive."

"I realize that, Colonel. He's also the reason you were in danger in the first place, not to mention an incredible security risk."

Briefly rubbing his left temple as his head starts to pound a little, "all right, look. He's probably gonna die anyway.

"And if he survives?"

"If he survives, he's gonna remember what we did. Like it or not, he's the best ally we've had in the fight against the Wraith. If we ever get around to perfecting this gene therapy, we're gonna need his help to deploy it."

"You realize this is the kind of decision that could cost me my job?"

Shrugging a little, "well...aren't they all?"

Smiling and keeping his gaze locked on John for a few seconds, thinking about it, he finally comes to a decision, "okay Colonel. Have him sent through the Gate."

Smiling and nodding his head a little, "thank you Mr. Woolsey." and getting up slowly he starts to head for the door, only to stop as he hears, "oh Colonel?"

Turning around to face Woolsey, "yes sir?"

Opening his book again, "get some rest."

A little surprised, but covering it quickly, "yes sir. Right after Todd is gone."

Smiling as he refocuses on his book, "good. Have a good night."

"You too." and heading for the Control room, he stops in front of Chuck's station, "Chuck, do we have the address for the planet that Todd mentioned?"

Hitting some keys on his laptop, "yes sir. We located it last night after he was locked up."

"Great. Dial it up." and reaching up to activate his radio, "Colonel Sheppard to Major Kersey."

"Go ahead sir."

"Major, have two of your men bring Todd up to the Gate room."

"Yes sir." and as the radio link shuts down, John heads for the stairs leading down into the Gate room. Walking down the stairs, he grimaces a little as sharp pain stabs through his temples and making a mental note to take a couple more Tylenol as soon as possible, he reaches the bottom of the stairs just as the Gate kawhooshes.

Walking over to the Gate, he stops just at the horizon and stares into it for a couple of minutes, getting lost in his thoughts. He zones back in, just in time to turn his head to watch as two Marines escort Todd into the Gate room. As Todd reaches the Gate, John looks at the Marines and they turn, to head back the way they came.

Turning to face John, "I appreciate your decision to let me go."

Turning his head to make eye contact with Todd, "a deal's a deal."

"I will remember this, John Sheppard." and smiling, Todd walks through the Gate.

Watching the event horizon shimmer and then shut down, _what did I just do?_ and staring into space, he zones out again.

A couple of minutes later, "Colonel?"

Coming back to himself, he realizes that Amelia is standing in front of him, concern written across her face, "huh?"

"Are you okay?"

Realizing that everyone in the Gate room is throwing concerned looks his way, he nods as he brings his attention back to her, "yeah. I'm good. Just thinking." and turning on the spot, he heads out of the Gate room. Reaching one of the transporters, he reaches out to swipe the control panel and at the same time he reaches up to activate his radio, "Colonel Sheppard to Dr. Carter."

"Go ahead John."

Stepping into the transporter, "where are you?"

"In my quarters. Why?"

Sighing and hitting the screen for the crew quarters section, "great. I'll see you in a few." and closing the link, he steps out of the transporter and heads for her quarters, smiling at the people he passes by.

Reaching Lexi quarters, he lets out another sigh as he swipes the door chime. A few seconds later, he feels his shoulders slumping in relief as Lexi is standing aside to let him in, "hey." he says, wearily as he walks past her, heading straight for her bed.

Mentally closing the doors, she watches him as he sits down slowly on the edge of the bed and hearing the grunt he lets out as he leans over to untie his boots, she quickly walks over to him. Kneeling down, batting his hands out of the way, she starts to untie the laces, "I guess the Tylenol isn't working?"

Sitting up slowly, grimacing as the room spins slightly, "not…really."

Looking up at him as she stows his boots under the bed, she catches the grimace. Standing up, she reaches for the top button of his BDU shirt and as she starts to unbutton it, "this would be why Jen wanted you to take it easy."

Looking up at her, scowling and pushing her hand away, "I am taking it easy."

Ignoring the scowl, she reaches for the buttons again and resumes unbuttoning the shirt, "John, taking it easy means staying in bed and letting me take care of you until you're cleared."

Letting her pull the shirt off, wincing as his head is now pounding in earnest, "Lexi, I…" out of no where a bout of coughs has him trying to pull in much needed air and the next thing he knows, Lexi is sitting next to him, rubbing circles on his back.

As the coughs subside and he is able to get his breathing under control, he squints at her through watery eyes and leaning into her touch, "but…I'm not…sick."

Frowning as she gently pushes him to lie back against the pillows, covering him with the blankets, "oh no? I'd have to disagree with you on that one." and satisfied that he's tucked in, she walks over to the fridge, "I'd say that you've caught the virus that's going around base."

Letting his eyes close and her words wash over him, he drifts a little as now that he's lying down, he can't deny how bad he really feels. Again out of nowhere another set of coughs have him sitting up off the pillows and as they subside, he sees Lexi walking towards him, water, pill bottles and a turkey sandwich in her hands.

As he slumps against the pillows, scrubbing his face, "you're not gonna make me see Keller are you?"

Sitting down on the bed, next to him, placing the sandwich on the bedside table, she hands him the water bottle, "no. I'm not gonna make you see Jen." and spilling out two pills from each of the pill bottles, handing them to him, "as long as you listen to me."

Swallowing the pills and drinking most of the water, he hands her the bottle, "that depends on what you want me to do."

Glaring at him as she reaches for the sandwich and places the almost empty bottle on the bedside table, "you're gonna stay in bed until I say otherwise."

Returning her glare as best he can, "but I've got stuff to do."

Handing him half of the sandwich, raising an eyebrow, "like what? You're grounded, remember."

Taking a bite of the sandwich, chewing slowly, forcing himself to swallow, "yeah…but I could get caught up on mission reports."

Staring at him, "okay. Now I know you're sick." and seeing the frown he shoots her way, "sorry." and realizing that he hasn't finished the half of the sandwich he's holding, "John, eat."

Looking at the sandwich half in his hand, feeling his stomach turn at the sight, he hands it to her, "I can't."

Frowning and taking it from him, placing it back in the container on her lap, "nauseous?"

Closing his eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "a little."

Standing up and walking over to the fridge, her stomach twisting into knots as she's really starting to get worried, she looks over her shoulder as she hears John's breathing evening out, as she reaches the fridge. Leaning over to put the sandwich back into the fridge, hitting her radio as she does so, "Jen, come in please."

"Keller here. What can I do for you Lexi?"

Closing the refrigerator door and standing up, heading into the bathroom, mentally shutting the door, so she can talk without waking John up, "it looks like John's caught the virus. But I'm…" she trails off as the doors to the bathroom slide open and John comes running into it, heading straight for the toilet.

Grimacing as she sees him throwing up into it, she grabs a wash cloth and as she wets it with cool water, she realizes that Keller is trying to get her attention over the radio and as she walks over to John's side, kneeling down next to him, rubbing his back, "Jen you'd better get down here."

"Okay. I'm on my way."

Before the radio shuts off, "oh Jen?"

"Yeah."

Seeing John staring at her through half lidded eyes, now that he's leaning against the wall, "don't bring a team."

"But Lexi…"

Flushing the toilet and sliding herself behind John, frowning as she feels the heat of his skin against hers, as she places the washcloth on his neck, "please Jen."

"Oh fine. Keller out."

"Thanks Lexi."

Rubbing John's upper arms, feeling him relaxing against her, "no problem. How're you feeling?"

Sneezing and sniffling, "well, I'm not nauseous…anymore."

Smiling a little at his attempt at sounding stronger than she knows he's feeling, "well that's good. But John, that doesn't answer my question."

Sighing and sinking further into her arms, trying to get warm, "Lexi, I'm sick. What do you want me to…say?"

Feeling him starting to shake, "I don't know." and shifting so that she is facing him, letting him lean against the wall, "you feel like going back to bed?"

Smiling a little, "I thought you'd never ask."

Returning his smile, she stands up and helping him to his feet, she wraps her arm around his waist, steadying him until he gets his feet under him. She helps him to the sink, knowing from past experience that he'll want to brush his teeth. She stays by his side as he does so and when he's ready, she helps in back to the bed.

As Lexi settles him against the pillows, the door chime goes off and mentally opening the doors, she covers him with the blankets.

"So Colonel, how're you feeling?"

Watching Keller walk up to his left side, "I've been better doc."

Raising an eyebrow at him as she scans him with the LSD, "a truthful answer from you. Okay now I'm worried."

Glaring at her, he tries to say something only to end up coughing. What feels like an eternity but is only a few seconds later, he finds himself propped up against the pillows with an oxygen mask on his face and breathing definitely is easier than it was just a few seconds before. Blinking his eyes a couple of times to get them to focus, he scans them around the room and as they come to rest on Lexi and Keller, "hey." he rasps out from under the mask.

Looking over at him and then at Keller, who turns and walks out of the quarters, a deep frown on her face, Lexi walks over to the bed and climbing into it, she crosses her legs in front of her and taking his right hand in hers, "do you want some water?"

Nodding his head a little, he pulls the mask off and watches as she reaches for a bottle of water on her bedside table, "why was…Keller upset?"

Handing him the bottle, "because I wouldn't let her take you down to the infirmary." and watching as he slowly sips the water, "the LSD confirmed that you have the virus that's going around base and she wanted to monitor you down there."

Capping the bottle as he's had enough, handing it to her, "how did you convince her to let me stay here?"

Placing the bottle on the bedside table and then leaning over to place the oxygen mask back on him, "first, keep the mask on." and smiling at the glare he gives her, "you need it right now and to answer your question, I just told her that you'd sleep better here."

Shivering, he pulls the blankets up to his chin, frowning, "yeah…I…guess…that's true. How long…does this virus last?"

Tucking the blankets tighter around him, "well, Jen said that the worst case lasted a week. But, she believes you should be good as new by about Wednesday." and meeting his gaze, "at least if you stay in bed."

Sighing and trying to keep his eyes open, "I think…this is…one…time where…I won't…mind doing that."

Shifting so that he is lying in her arms, rubbing his, "good I'm glad to hear it." and feeling his breathing even out, she looks down at him and smiles as she sees that he's fast asleep. Shifting a little again, this time so that she is under the blankets as well, but still holding him, she closes her eyes and even though she doesn't mean to, she also falls asleep.

xxxx

The following Wednesday, Keller clears John as she can't find any trace of the virus still in his system. After his clearance check, he and his team meet up with Woolsey to discuss the upcoming week of missions and such. That night, he meets up with Lexi and his team in the mess for dinner and again things get back to as normal, or as they ever are on Atlantis.


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I've been crazy busy working on my Graduate Thesis. Anyway, here is Chap. 14. I know it's a short one but I wanted to post something. Hope you enjoy :-)

**Chap. 14:

* * *

**

Around five weeks later, Lexi startles awake and without even realizing that she has woken John up as well, she dashes out of bed for the bathroom.

Blinking his eyes a couple of times, John grimaces as he hears her retching in the bathroom and getting out of the bed, he heads for the fridge and takes out a bottle of water. Hearing the toilet flush, he heads over to the bathroom and leaning against the doorframe, watching as Lexi brushes her teeth, seeing her staring back at him in the mirror, "you okay?"

Placing the toothbrush in its holder, turning to look at him, she accepts the water bottle he hands her, "yeah. Thanks."

Trying to look her in the eyes, but having no luck, as she won't meet his gaze, he reaches out and pulls her into his arms, gently gripping her chin, "Lexi, this is the third time this week that you've woken up sick."

Pulling her chin out of his grip, but not out of his arms, "John, I'm fine." and seeing the worry plastered across his face, she leans in and kisses him. Pulling back a few seconds later, "if it'll make you feel better, I'll go see Jen right after we're done with our run."

Smiling and letting her go, walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth and such, talking over his shoulder, "it would definitely make me feel better."

Shaking her head as she heads over to the dresser to get her workout clothes, "and Jen says I worry too much." she says under her breath. Getting changed, she heads into the bathroom as he comes out and after putting on some deodorant and popping some Maalox, she walks out of the bathroom just in time to see him grabbing two bottles of Gatorade out of the mini fridge, "you ready?"

Straightening up with the two bottles in his hands, closing the fridge with his foot, "yeah. Let's go." and falling into step with her, they head out of the quarters to start their run.

xxxx

Two hours later, showered and changed Lexi makes her way down to the infirmary to see Keller.

Walking into it she scans it quickly and catching sight of Keller sitting at a work table, she heads over to her, "hey Jen."

Looking up from the microscope she is currently looking through, "hi Lexi. What brings you by?"

Coming to a stop next to her, picking up a test tube from the table and rolling it between her fingers, "oh you know."

Rolling her eyes, as she realizes that Lexi is now almost as difficult to get information out of about her health as John is, she reaches for the test tube and taking it out of Lexi's hand, "what's wrong?"

Sticking her hands in her pockets and darting her eyes around the immediate area, coming to land on Keller, "could we ah? Could we talk in your office?"

Seeing the nervousness radiating from her, Keller stands up and guiding Lexi into her office, closing the door, "okay. Now that we're out of earshot of everyone, what's going on?"

Sitting down in one of the chairs, looking up at her, "I've woken up nauseous the past three mornings and I've also been really tired, lately."

Raising an eyebrow at her, leaning forward with her hands clasped on the desk in front of her, "have you had any other symptoms?"

Frowning, "not really."

Unclasping her hands and placing them flat on the desk, she pushes down and standing up, "okay then. Let's run a scan and draw some blood." and smiling as she walks towards the door, looking over her shoulder as Lexi gets up from her seat, "you could be fighting something, but let's just make sure."

Following her out of the office, "great."

xxxx

Eight hours later, around 1720, Lexi leans back in her desk chair and rubs her eyes. She had come straight to her office from the infirmary, not wanting to wait around there while Keller ran her blood work.

Leaning forward, she refocuses on her laptop and tries to finish up her notes on her last patient. A couple of minutes later, she startles a little as the door chime goes off. Getting her wits about her, she looks over at the doors, "come in." she shouts, smiling as Keller walks in.

Returning her smile and sitting down across from her, "so, I got your blood work back."

Leaning back in her chair again, "and?"

Biting her bottom lip, "I ran it three times because I wanted to make sure that it confirmed what the scan told me."

Frowning at the look of apprehension on her face, "Jen, is there something wrong with me?"

Looking her in the eyes, "not wrong, really. Actually I'd say it's something great."

Feeling her gut tighten in apprehension, "just tell me."

Smiling, "Lexi, you're pregnant."

Completely shocked, she zones out for a moment and the next thing she knows Keller is kneeling down next to her in her line of sight. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, focusing on Keller, "yeah, Jen I'm fine. It just took me by surprise. That's all."

Standing up and gently squeezing her shoulder, "I'd imagine it would. Especially today." and moving to sit down across from her again, "are you sure you're okay?"

Smiling and looking down at her stomach, "yeah." and looking back up at her, it hits her that she's gonna have to tell John and grimacing, "thanks."

Seeing the grimace, "Lexi, what's wrong?"

Refocusing on Keller, "I ah. I just realized that I'm gonna have to tell John."

Looking at her with concern, "why is that such a bad thing?"

Sighing, "it's not. It's just that, I remember how he reacted when Teyla told him she was pregnant."

Realization dawning, "oh." and smiling, "but Lexi, this is different. This is his child."

"Yeah. I just hope you're right."

Looking down at her watch, "I know I am." and looking back up at Lexi, "well, I should get going. I've still got some patients to see." and standing up, walking towards the doors, talking over her shoulder, "don't worry Lexi."

Grimacing again, "yeah." and calling after her before she reaches the doors, "hey Jen?"

Stopping just as she reaches the doors, turning to look at Lexi, "yeah?"

"Please don't tell anyone else about this. At least until I tell you otherwise."

Nodding and turning to head out of the office, "of course and congratulations."

Calling after her, "thanks." and smiling, she closes down her tablet and hitting her radio as she gets up from her chair, "Dr. Carter to Colonel Sheppard."

"Sheppard here."

Walking out of her office, mentally shutting off the lights and locking the doors, "John, are you busy right now?"

"No."

Swiping her way into the transporter, "where are you?"

"In my office. Why, is something wrong?"

Hitting the screen for the section where his office is, "no. Nothing's wrong. But I need to talk to you."

"Okay. I'll be waiting."

Turning off her radio, she reaches his office a few minutes later and swiping the door chime, she smiles as she hears, "come in." and as the doors slide open, she walks into his office, smile widening as she sees him staring straight at her, "hey."

Watching her as she walks towards him, "what's up?"

Sitting down in one of the chairs facing him, "I went to see Jen."

Raising an eyebrow at her, leaning forward and clasping his hands together in front of him on the desk, "and?"

Smiling and twisting the rings on her ring finger with her thumb, looking him right in the eyes, "I'm um. I'm pregnant John."

Staring at her, shocked, not sure that he heard her right, "I'm sorry?"

Braking eye contact, looking down at her hands in her lap, twisting them together, "I'm pregnant."

Standing up and walking around the desk, he pulls her up out of the chair and cupping her face in his hands, he leans in and kisses her. A few seconds later as he pulls back, looking her in the eyes, "I'm gonna be a dad?"

Reaching up to grip his hands, which are still cupping her face, smiling, "yes. You're gonna be a dad."

Letting go of her, he steps away and leaning against the desk, scrubbing his face, "I'm gonna…be a dad." and looking up as he feels her standing next to him, "how?"

Raising an eyebrow at him, "what do you mean how?"

Smirking, "Lexi, you know what I mean. We're always careful. So how could this have happened?"

Shrugging, "well, I guess it happened the night you gave me this." she says, holding up her left hand.

Reaching out for her hand, pulling her into his arms, "oh right."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, biting her bottom lip, "and now the big question. Are you okay with it?"

Smiling, "yeah actually, I think I am. Are you?"

Returning the smile, she leans in to kiss him again and as she pulls back, "well, now that I know you're okay with it, I couldn't be happier about it."

Reaching up to grab her hands and pulling her towards the doors, "do you want to tell anyone yet?"

Shaking her head as she waves her right hand over the door control for the transporter, "no. Not yet. I don't want to jinx it. Maybe in another couple of months, though."

Stepping into the transporter, squeezing her hand as he hits the screen for the crew quarters section, "okay. But you know, Teyla might be a good person to tell. She's been through this already."

Stepping out of the transporter, looking over at him, "yeah, maybe."

"Colonel, Dr. Carter."

Nodding at the two Marines that are walking by them, "Searmen, Koto. Everything all right?"

"All's quiet, sir. Congratulations."

Sharing a look with John, not surprised that the news of their impending Athosian wedding ceremony has already made the rounds on the grape vine, "thank you Sergeant."

Continuing along the corridor with Searmen, talking over his shoulder, "you're welcome, ma'am. Sir."

Nodding after them and pulling Lexi towards her quarters, "boys." and reaching them, he swipes the control panel and as they walk in, "so much for keeping it quiet."

Smiling as she heads over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, "John, think about who's gonna be off world tonight. Don't you think it'd be odd if the news hadn't made the rounds already?"

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, watching her as he thinks about it, "you know what? You're right." and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "I'm surprised Woolsey's even coming."

Walking over to sit down on the couch, looking over at him as she does so, "I'm not."

Raising an eyebrow at her, "really?"

Smirking at the look of confusion on his face, "yeah. I think he realizes that this is a great opportunity for him to interact with his senior staff in a non-work setting."

Standing up and coming to sit next to her, "well he certainly could do with the practice." and reaching for her left hand, taking it in his, "Lexi, are you really sure all of this is what you want?"

Sighing and squeezing his hand, "John, look at me." and waiting until he does, "listen to me very carefully. I love you and yes, I am sure that all of this is what I want."

Running his thumb over the engagement ring, not looking at her, "but with everything that goes on around here there's always a chance that…"

Gently gripping his chin, forcing him to look at her, "I know. But all I care about right now is that I'm carrying your child and tonight I get to marry you." and seeing the sides of his lips quirking up in a small smile, letting go of his chin, "okay?"

Nodding, "okay." and standing up, holding out his hand for her to take, "shower?"

Smiling and grabbing his hand, letting him pull her to her feet, "sounds great."

They head into the bathroom and getting undressed they take a shower. Forty-five minutes later Lexi is sitting on the couch, watching as John pulls on a long sleeved fleece, "you seem really…oh what's the word I'm looking for?"

Smiling as he walks over to stand in front of her, looking down at her as he straps on his thigh holster, "happy?"

Returning the smile, standing up and fixing his collar, "that too. But I was gonna say, at ease. More so then I can ever remember seeing you." and running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, "have you gotten everything back in their boxes?"

Leaning his head forward, resting his forehead against hers, "yeah and I have you to thank for that."

Pulling her head back, looking him in the eyes, "why?"

Leaning down and capturing her lips with his, he kisses her for a couple of seconds and as he pulls away, he smirks at her, "because you don't back down from me when I'm an idiot." and smirk turning into a smile as she leans in and kisses him again, he talks through it, "so…thanks."

They stand there for a couple of minutes kissing each other until John's radio going off in his ear forces him to pull away and hitting the receiver in his ear, "yeah Ross, we're on our way. Sheppard out." and as the channel shuts down, "it seems we're running late."

Smiling as she pulls out of his arms, "how can we be running late? It's our ceremony."

Shrugging and falling into step next to her as they head out of the doors, "you've got me." and as he swipes them into the transporter, "tell me again why we're not getting dressed here."

Looking over at him as they step out of the transporter, into the Jumper bay, "because according to Teyla, it's Athosian tradition to get dressed in the ceremonial tents."

"Oh, right." and as they head up the ramp of Jumper 1, "that explains it."

Chuckling as she sits down in the co-pilot's seat, looking over at him, "John, one day that wit is gonna get you into trouble."

Smirking as he sits down in the pilot's chair and starts his pre flight, "one day? Try everyday." and reaching up to activate his radio, "flight, go ahead and dial the Gate." and hearing Lexi laughing, he looks over at her, smiling as she smiles back at him and as he lowers the Jumper into the Gate room, "let's go get hitched."


	15. Chapter 15

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but here's something new to read for the weekend. I don't know when I'm gonna be able to post chapter 16, but I am working on it. I know that this is a short one and it ends on a bit of a cliff hanger, but I couldn't help it. It just felt like the right place to end this chapter. I hope you like it and please stay with me. Thanks.

**Chap. 15:**

* * *

Flying the Jumper out of the Gate on New Athos, John activates his radio, "Sheppard to Teyla."

"Go ahead John."

"Just wanted to let you know that we'll be there in ten minutes."

"Wonderful. We shall be waiting. Teyla out."

As the radio link shuts down, John looks over at Lexi and frowns, "what's wrong?"

Opening her eyes and looking over at him, "just a little nauseous, don't worry. It'll pass."

Focusing on the view screen again, "are you sure?"

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "yeah."

Glancing over at her, "is there anything I can do?"

Meeting his gaze, smiling, "no, not really. But thanks for asking."

Returning her smile, "no problem. But maybe you should tell Keller?"

Sighing, closing her eyes again and resting her head against the headrest, "she can't do anything about it either."

Matching her sigh, but raising his eye brows in surprise as he sees the settlement coming into view, "hey Lexi. Look at that."

Opening up her eyes again and looking out of the view screen, she smiles as she sees the settlement awash in fire light from dozens of lit torches and the late afternoon sun. As John banks the Jumper around to come in to land next to Jumper 3, they get a better view of the settlement, sharing a smile as the tents are adorned with coverings of dark reds, purples and blues and the trees are lit with lights that they can only assume the Athosians borrowed from Atlantis's supply of party decorations.

Looking over at John again, a huge smile on her face, "they really went all out for us."

Landing the Jumper as gently as possible, looking over at her as he shuts it down, "they sure did." and seeing the color returning to her face, "better?"

Smiling and standing up, "yeah. Much." and heading for the back of the Jumper, holding out her hand for him to take, "you ready?"

Coming to stand next to her, taking her hand and releasing the back hatch, returning her smile, "most definitely."

As the hatch hits the ground they walk down it and as they reach the bottom of it, Teyla greets them, "John, Lexi welcome to New Athos."

Smiling and hitting the remote to close the Jumper hatch, "it's good to be back."

Returning his smile, "I'm glad to hear that, but we should get going. Everyone is most eager for the ceremony to begin."

Also smiling and sharing a look with John, "so are we."

Turning to lead the way towards the preparation tents, "John, Ronon and Rodney are waiting for you in your tent."

Looking over at Teyla as they are walking the short distance, "really? Why?"

"Well, as your best men they have to help you prepare."

Raising a questioning eyebrow, "how will they do that?"

"They will take the things that are symbolic of your life before being joined with Lexi."

Frowning at her, "you're talking about my dog tags and my gun aren't you?"

Nodding, "yes." and seeing the hesitation on his face, "don't worry, you will get them back during the ceremony."

Sighing, "okay." and seeing that they have reached the preparation tents that are set off to the side of the entrance to the settlement, he looks over at Lexi, "I guess I'll see you in a few."

Squeezing his hand and kissing him on the cheek, pulling away and following Teyla into the tent on their right, talking over her shoulder, "you bet."

He watches as she disappears into her tent and turning, he ducks inside of his, smiling again as he sees Ronon and McKay, "hey guys."

Getting up, "Sheppard."

Also getting up, looking from Ronon to John, "what took you so long? We've been waiting here for two hours."

Walking over to the table where his suit is laid out, "sorry McKay. I had a few things to take care of."

"Oh, right. Anyway," and coming to stand next to John, watching as he pulls off his dog tags, "Teyla told you what you have to give us?"

Handing McKay his tags, "yeah."

Accepting the tags, "and you're okay with it?"

Leaning over and unclipping his thigh holster, "not really. But, she said that I'll get them back during the ceremony." and handing the gun to Ronon, "so, I'll live with it."

Accepting the gun and holster, "and you're sure about this?"

Raising an eyebrow at Ronon, as he toes off his sneakers, "am I sure about what?"

Sharing a look with McKay, "getting married."

Not having missed the look, he sighs as he pulls off his fleece, "look, I know you guys always make fun of me for playing Kirk, but Lexi gets me like no one else has." and picking up his dress shirt from the table, slipping it on over his undershirt, "anyway, why are you guys asking me this now, I thought you liked her?"

Glancing from John to Ronon and back, "we do like her and it's great that she gets you, but you're a lot older than she is." and seeing the look that John is giving him as he pulls off his jeans, "just think about it. It might be fine now, but what do you think is gonna happen in thirty years?"

Pulling on his suit pants and tucking in his dress shirt, he glares at McKay, "I don't care about that and neither does she and just so you know, your timing is really shitty. I wouldn't have done this to you. In fact I didn't do this to you did I?" and seeing McKay shake his head, "no. I just kept my mouth shut even though I thought that Katie was wrong for you."

Not backing down from John's glare, but giving him one in return, "what do you mean she was wrong for me?"

Slipping his belt on, "oh come on McKay, you even realized it. If you hadn't, you'd have proposed to her, like you were going to. But you didn't did you?"

Looking over at Ronon, seeing him shrug as if saying, "he's got you there," he looks back at John, "no I didn't. But…"

Interrupting him, "Sheppard, you told me a couple of years ago that you weren't very good at being married. If that was the truth, then why do you think this time will be different?"

Slipping into his dress shoes, "because it will. Now will you just leave it the hell alone? I love her and I'm gonna marry her." and seeing the looks on Ronon and McKay's faces, "what the hell is going on?"

Taking a step back, "nothing, just take it easy John."

Raising an eyebrow at McKay, "take it easy? I'm marrying Lexi in less than an hour and you guys decide to hit me with this." and sitting down heavily on the chair that is behind him, he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head, "of all the times to…"

Coming over to John's side, looking down at him, "sorry Sheppard. We had to."

Looking up at Ronon, "but why?"

"Because Halling told us that as your best men it's our responsibility to make sure that you're really ready be joined with Lexi."

Turning his head to look at McKay and then back at Ronon, letting out another sigh, "guys, I wouldn't let this ceremony take place if I wasn't ready."

Slapping him on the shoulder, "good enough for me." and looking McKay, "McKay?"

Smiling and nodding his head, "yeah. Let's get you to the alter."

Returning the smile and rubbing his left shoulder where Ronon slapped him, John gets up and reaches for his tie, "yeah. Let's."

xxxx

Entering the tent, Lexi stops short as she takes in the sight of Teyla on the floor unconscious, a woman dressed in a hooded cape standing over her and pointing a Wraith stunner directly at her. Before she can react, she feels the tingle of the stunner engulfing her and she falls to the ground in a boneless heap, unconscious before she hits the ground.

"Jaylan, get in here now!"

"Coming mistress."

Scowling as Jaylan enters the tent from the back, "pick her up and leave the Athosian."

Picking Lexi up as if she were nothing more than a sack of potatoes, "yes mistress."

As soon as Lexi is in his arms, the woman walks over to him and quickly takes off the rings from her ring finger, as well as the diamond bracelet, "take her out of here and head for the Gate. I will be right behind you."

Nodding his head, Jaylan ducks out the back of the tent and quietly makes his way to the Gate.

Positive that Jaylan is out of the tent, the woman bends over Teyla and places the rings and the bracelet in her right hand. That done, she heads out of the back of the tent as well and heads for the Gate.

xxxx

"So Lexi, you ready to get this ceremony…" and entering the tent, trailing off as he notices Teyla starting to come to on the floor, Lorne hurries over to her side, "Teyla, what happened? Are you okay?"

Sitting up slowly, with his help, she looks down at her right hand and noticing that she has the rings and the bracelet, she looks him in the eyes, "I am fine. But we must alert everyone immediately. Shiana has taken Lexi."

Helping her stand up, he hits his radio, "this is Lorne. Everyone meet me outside of Lexi's tent. We have a situation."

xxxx

A couple of minutes later, Lorne and Teyla step out of the tent to be met by everyone. Before either of them can say anything, John steps up to them, "what's going on Major?"

Sharing a look with Lorne and handing him the bracelet and rings, "John, I'm sorry, but Lexi is gone. Shiana has taken her."

Accepting them, he looks at them in his hand and feeling his gut twist in anger and worry, he looks up to see everyone looking at him with concern. Taking a deep breath to settle his nerves, he clenches his fist around the bracelet and rings and turning on the spot, he heads for the Jumper, "Lorne, Teyla, get the Athosians to start doing a ground sweep. Ronon, McKay and I will do an aerial sweep in the Jumper. We can't let them get off this planet."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chap. 16:**

* * *

Slowly awareness starts to assert itself and as it does so, Lexi realizes that she is being carried. But as she blinks her eyes open, it hits her that John is not the one carrying her and as the smell of sweat and the woods reach her nose, she looks up at the person who is carrying her, "wh…what's going on?"

Looking down at her for a second and then refocusing on the path in front of him, "I am taking you to the Gate. My mistress will be with us soon."

Knowing that it would be fruitless to try and struggle as she can tell that his grip on her is strong, she decides to gather as much information about what is going on as she can, "who is your mistress?"

Shifting her in his arms to balance himself better as he continues to hurry for the Gate, "Shiana."

Feeling her breath catch in her chest, she closes her eyes and shivers in fear. A few minutes later, she snaps her eyes open as she hears a crack behind them and as Jaylan stops moving and turns around towards the sound, she frowns as Shiana comes into view.

"Don't stop you idiot. We must make it to the Gate before they find us." and drawing even with them, she looks at Lexi, "ah, good you're awake. It will make things easier."

Meeting her gaze, "why did you take me?"

Concentrating on the path in front of her, "I was cheated out of justice for my family. So I decided to take matters into my own hands."

Knowing that the best chance of John finding her is if she can distract Shiana long enough to keep her on the planet, "the trial found Atlantis not guilty. I'm sorry that your family was killed Shiana, but John was not at fault. The Replicators were."

Turning around and stopping short so quickly that Jaylan almost drops Lexi, "Colonel Sheppard most certainly is to be held responsible! He confessed to waking the Wraith and he also confessed to having a hand in activating the attack code in the abominations! By committing these crimes he is directly responsible for the deaths of my family and everyone else who has died!"

Looking around the woods, "mistress, hush."

Shooting a scathing look at Jaylan and starting to move again, "I will not hush." and glaring at Lexi out of the corner of her eye, "by taking you I am hoping to cause Colonel Sheppard some of the pain I felt as I watched my family die!"

Looking directly at Shiana, "John didn't kill them. But just so you know, he still blames himself for all of it. So much so that he doesn't sleep and he won't rest until he has rid this galaxy of the Wraith."

Stopping short again, "he doesn't sleep?" and laughing hysterically, running a hand through her hair, "he regrets what he has done?" and walking up to her and Jaylan, "if that is the case, he shouldn't have done it!" and turning on the spot she starts walking again, muttering to herself.

Looking at Jaylan, lowering her voice so only he will hear her, "do you know what she plans to do with me?"

Shrugging, "she hasn't shared her plans with me. I only do what she tells me."

Shivering in fear again, as she is certain that Shiana's plan will most likely end her life, she offers up a little prayer that somehow John will find a way to stop Shiana. However, she feels her breath catch again as the Gate comes into view.

xxxx

Flying the Jumper over the forest, John focuses on the HUD trying to locate Lexi's sub q transmitter and looking over at McKay who is nervously fiddling with the controls on the console in front of him, "anything Rodney?"

Frowning and looking over at John, "no. Nothing." and fiddling with the controls some more, "that's just weird. Shiana must have something on her that is masking the signal."

Sighing and turning to focus on the view shield, he hears Ronon growl behind him and looking over his shoulder, "what's up Chewy?"

"Why'd you want me with you? You know I would've found her."

Looking over at McKay and then back at Ronon, "cause I don't trust myself."

Sharing a look with McKay, "fair enough."

Nodding and refocusing on the view shield again, he activates his radio, "Lorne. Teyla, anything yet?"

"Yes sir. Teyla and Halling have the trail. They're headed for the Gate."

Smiling and mentally commanding the Jumper to fly faster, "copy that. We'll meet you there. Hang back and go on my mark."

"Yes sir."

As the radio shuts down, John looks over at McKay, "dial the Gate for the Alpha site." and as he looks out of the view screen again, he pilots the Jumper towards the Gate.

Just as they reach the clearing where the Gate is, his grip tightens on the controls as he sees Shiana and a large man emerge from the tree line. But what makes his pulse quicken is what the large man is carrying in his arms. Seeing Lexi in the man's arms, he pushes the engines of the Jumper even more wanting to reach her as quickly as possible.

xxxx

Hurrying into the clearing where the Gate is, Shiana curses aloud as she sees that the Gate is already active. She looks behind her at Jaylan, who is looking around the clearing nervously, shifting his grip on Lexi. Just as she pulls the Wraith stunner out of her cloak, she freezes in place as, "drop it!" echoes through out the clearing.

An angry scowl creases her brow as she sees John, Ronon and McKay walking towards her from the back of a Jumper, guns trained on her and Jaylan. Looking from John to Jaylan and back, "no. You drop it Colonel. Or Jaylan will kill Lexi."

Before he knows it, the man who was holding Lexi, has a knife to Lexi's throat and Shiana is aiming the stunner at Lexi's head.

Sharing a look with Ronon, who nods back at him, he lifts his hand up to his radio and clicking twice, they move as one as Lorne, Teyla and the Athosians come out quietly from the Tree line, "Shiana, you're surrounded. Let her go and we'll go easy on you."

Aiming the stunner at John, her finger beginning to squeeze the trigger, she snorts out a laugh, "you'll take it easy on me. Please Colonel, at least do me the honor of telling me the truth for once."

This time John snorts and starts walking forward, ignoring the looks McKay and Ronon are throwing him, "I've done nothing but tell you the truth from the first moment we met, you bitch!"

Taking a slight step back and tightening her finger on the trigger of the stunner, she finally lets loose a shot as she screams, "liar!"

As the bolt of energy from the stunner sails past him, he flinches ever so slightly and takes another step towards Shiana, his stunner still aimed at her, "I'm a liar. Please don't make me laugh. Let Lexi go now!"

Aiming at him again, her hand shaking in rage, "no!" and letting off another shot with the stunner, she misses him again.

Looking from her to Lexi and back, his emotions finally get the better of him and he launches himself at Shiana, only to be engulfed by a bright red and blue light at the same time, before he can even touch her.

xxxx

"Colonel, can you open your eyes for me lad?"

Slowly but surely John feels himself surfacing through the layers of fog that claimed him back on New Athos. Shifting slightly, it hits him that he's laying on something soft and as he shifts again, he lets out a low moan as pain radiates through his chest and head.

The feeling of a strong but gentle grip on his left wrist, forces him to slit his eyes open and blinking a couple of times, he smiles a little as Beckett's concerned face solidifies in his line of sight, "Car…son?"

Smiling, "aye."

Blinking his eyes again to try and bring the two Beckett's he is seeing into one, "ice?" he rasps out.

Letting go of his wrist, reaching for the cup of ice on the tray table next to him, "sure." and scooping a piece into John's mouth, "better?"

Sighing as the cold liquid from the ice slides down his parched throat, "much." and scrubbing his face with his right hand, he feels the pinch of an IV in the back of it, but ignoring it as he remembers what happened on New Athos, he sits up quickly, "Lexi?"

Pushing him gently back against the pillow, "calm down John. She's fine. In fact she should be back in a few minutes. Jennifer is just doing her clearance check."

Slumping against the pillow, starring at Beckett, "what…happened? The last thing I remember is lunging for Shiana."

Taking a seat in the chair that is next to the bed, "well, you got hit by Ronon and Shiana's stunners. Your heart stopped from the overload of electrical currents and we had to shock you again to bring you back. You've been out for about two days."

Grimacing as he shifts in the bed again, "o…kay. But, that's not what I meant. What happened to Shiana and her goon?"

"Ronon shot Shiana and Evan shot Jaylan and me."

They look over to the North entrance of the room to see Lexi walking into it, a bandage on the right side of her throat.

Seeing the bandage, John sits up straighter against the pillow, frowning as Lexi comes to stand on his right side and looking at Beckett, "you said she was fine."

Sitting down on the side of the gurney, taking his right hand in hers, careful of the IV, "John it's just a scratch. I didn't even need stitches."

Standing up and heading for the South entrance to the room, "I'll be back in a little while."

Smiling after him, "thanks Carson." and feeling John's eyes on her, she turns to look at him, "what?"

Looking down at her stomach and up into her eyes, "how's the baby?"

Leaning over to kiss him, smiling again as she pulls back, "the baby is doing great."

Returning her smile, "are you sure?"

Leaning forward and running her fingers through his hair, smile fading a little as his eyes close and he grimaces a little, "yeah, Jen just gave me the all clear. No harm done."

Opening his eyes, he shifts on the bed and pulling her down into his arms, careful of the IV and the EKG wires, "good, I was worried that…"

Looking up at him, "I know." and resting her head on his chest, "you scared me John. I've seen you angry before, but never…"

Hugging her a little tighter, "I'm sorry. I don't know where it came from."

Looking up at him again, "I think I do. I was in danger and you did what you do best."

Scrubbing his face with his left hand, "I guess." and pinching the bridge of his nose, "where are Shiana and Jaylan now?"

Snuggling closer to him, "Woolsey handed them over to the Pegasus council. He thought it would be a good idea to keep her as far away from you as possible."

Yawning and letting his eyes drift shut, "s'good. But we…still need to…get hitched."

Turning the rings around her finger with her thumb, smiling again as she feels his breathing even out, "we will." and lying there listening to his breathing and the steady beeping of the monitor, she too falls asleep.

xxxx

Two days later, Lexi is standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, wearing a blue silk Athosian wedding dress. Finishing the final touches to her makeup, she smiles as John walks in and wraps his arms around her waist and as he leans down to kiss the nape of her neck, "the dress looks great on you."

Smiling as she puts the lip-gloss into the over the sink cabinet, "thanks." and running her eyes over him in the mirror, "you don't look too shabby either."

Turning her around in his arms, "you know I hate wearing this right?"

Nodding as she wraps her arms around his neck, "yeah, but do you have any idea how much I want to jump you right now?"

Raising an eyebrow, "really?"

Smirking, "yeah. There's just something about it that works for me."

Shrugging, "well if that's the case, are you ready to go get hitched?"

Leaning in to kiss him, running the fingers through the hair on the back of his head, talking through the kiss, "I…was…ready…two days…ago." and pulling back, she frowns at the look he's giving her, "John, it wasn't your fault. No one could've known that Shiana was going to be there."

Pulling out of her arms and walking out of the bathroom, he sits down hard on the couch and rubs his hands over his face, as he's still not feeling a hundred percent, "Lexi, you got stunned twice."

Rolling her eyes as she comes over to stand in front of him, "so did you."

Looking up at her, pulling her down on to his lap, "yeah, but I'm not pregnant."

Chuckling, "now that's something we should be thankful for."

Grimacing, "Lexi."

Pouting, "oh come on John, it was a little funny."

Sighing, "ha, ha." and seeing the look she gives him, "do you have any idea how scared I was? And I don't scare that easily, you know that."

Cupping his face in her hands, leaning in to kiss him, she smiles as he relaxes against her and as she pulls away a few moments later, "I do know that. But John, you're not gonna be able to be with me every minute of every day."

Pulling his face out of her hands, but not braking eye contact, "but…"

Shaking her head, "no John. I'm fine and so is the baby. You saved me and I don't have any plans to go off world again any time soon. So don't worry, okay?"

"Okay."

Smiling, "good." and standing up, holding her right hand out for him to take, "now if you don't mind, could we go. Cause I'd really like to marry you."

Returning her smile, he takes her hand, but the smile turns into a wince as she pulls him to his feet and his muscles twinge a little, "lead the way."

Not having missed the wince, "still sore?"

Leading her out of the quarters, "a little. But it's not as bad as it was."

Frowning as they head for the transporter, "did Carson say how much longer it's gonna last?"

Looking over at her, as they reach the transporter, "a few more days." and scowling as he swipes them into it, "which is why I haven't been cleared yet."

Pulling him out of the transporter, "John, it's New Year's Eve and we're getting married."

Stopping short and pulling Lexi into his arms, raising his eyebrows, "so?"

Smiling as she feels his arms wrapping around her waist, "so, I have a feeling that we won't be getting much sleep tonight."

Leaning down to kiss her, talking through it, "so sleeping…late…and other…things."

Also talking through the kiss, "and…other…things."

They stand there kissing each other for a couple of minutes until, "you couldn't wait a couple more hours?" forces them to pull apart and stare at McKay, who is standing a couple of feet away from them, arms crossed and glaring at them.

Feeling the heat rising on the back of his neck, sharing a look with Lexi, "no Rodney. We couldn't." and smirking at the uncomfortable look that flits across McKay's face, he slaps McKay on the shoulder and starts walking towards the mess hall, "come on Rodney. We're going to the chapel and we're gonna get married."

Rolling his eyes as he falls into step next to John, "only you would quote a romantic song from the sixties." and as they reach the mess hall entrance and he swipes them all in, he looks at Lexi, "you're really gonna marry him?"

Smiling and looking from him to John and back, "absolutely." and glancing around the mess hall, her smile widens as she takes in everything from the lights hanging on every wall, to the chairs, which are currently occupied by the guests who were invited to the original ceremony, draped with fabrics of all different colors, to the center aisle between them covered in flower petals, leading up to the silk covered canopy on the raised level of the mess hall. Her eyes shift from the canopy to the other side of the room and she sees the tables set up on the outside balcony, covered in lit candles and draped in the same colors as the chairs.

Taking it all in, she easily spots Teyla, who is walking up to them, "wow Teyla."

Coming to a stop in front of them, "do you like it?"

Sharing a look with Lexi, "like it? It's amazing."

Smiling, "thank you John. I'm glad you like it." and stepping over to Lexi's left side, "are you ready? Major Lorne is waiting for you out on the balcony."

Nodding, "yeah." and leaning over to give John a kiss, "I'll see you in a few."

Squeezing her hand and letting go, "I can't wait."

With that John and McKay head for the canopy, where Halling is talking with Ronon and Teyla leads Lexi out onto the balcony where Lorne is waiting for them. As soon as he sees her, he lets out a whistle, "well Lexibeth, you look amazing."

Blushing, "thanks Evan."

Smiling at them, "okay Major, I am going to go let Halling know that we are ready. Do you know what you have to do?"

Returning her smile, nodding and looking from her to Lexi and back, "yep. I'm all set."

Turning to walk inside, talking over her shoulder, "wonderful."

Watching Teyla walk away, she feels Lorne's eyes on her and turning to face him, "what?"

Smirking, "nothing. It's just that I can't believe that I'm giving you away."

Stepping up to him and taking his hands in hers, looking him in the eyes, "I know. Thank you. It means so much to me that you agreed to do it."

Kissing her left wrist and pulling her over to the door leading into the mess, as the music has started playing and the ceremony is beginning, "it means just as much to me."

He guides her up to the canopy and as they reach it and the music stops, "I, Major Evan Lorne, hereby present this woman, Alexa Elizabeth Carter to you, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. Will you accept her, take her as your own, keep her safe from all harm, including herself and love her unconditionally until the day of your last breath?"

Meeting his gaze and accepting Lexi's right hand, "I will."

Nodding and accepting John's dog tags from McKay, "then by clasping your hands together with your tags, I bound you to her and her to you for as long as you both shall live." and bowing his head at Halling and then at Teyla, "may the two of you live together for a very long time." and with this he takes his seat next to Woolsey.

As soon as Lorne sits down, Teyla steps up next to Lexi and John, "I Teyla Emmagan, Daughter of Tagan, hereby present this man Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard to you, Alexa Elizabeth Carter. Will you accept him, take him as your own, keep him safe from all harm, including himself and love him unconditionally until the day of your last breath?"

Smiling and meeting Teyla gaze, "I will."

Nodding and accepting the dog tag that John gave to Lexi, from Ronon along with John's mother's ring and the engagement ring, "then by clasping your hands together with this dog tag, I bound you together." and handing John the engagement ring, "and by allowing John to place this ring on the ring finger of your left hand, he promises to be faithful to you always. Do you so promise John?"

Slipping the engagement ring on Lexi's ring finger, "I do."

Smiling and handing John his mother's ring and looking between the two of them, "John, by placing your mother's ring on Lexi's left forefinger, you and she will be joined forever. At this point you may chose to break the commitments you have made today, if not, please place the ring on her forefinger."

Without a second thought, John slides his mother's ring onto Lexi's forefinger and smiling wide, "I, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, have and will always love you Lexi and nothing, not even death will ever change that. Please take me as your partner in life and death."

Accepting the golden silk rope from Halling, Lexi weaves it around her and John's hands, which are still clasped together by the dog tags and looking him in the eyes, "I love you John, no matter what happens, I will always love you and wait for you as long as it takes for you to return to me."

As Lexi stops speaking, Halling steps forward and as he reaches for the rope, "I Halling, proclaim this union complete. By untying this rope and these chains, I certify that this couple has made the proper pledges and by doing so they are now considered husband and wife." and handing John Lexi's tag and Lexi John's, "now to finish the binding, Lexi will you please place Colonel Sheppard's tags around his neck and Colonel Sheppard will you do the same."

Lexi places John's tags around his neck and John does the same. Seeing this, Halling looks out everyone gathered, "Colonel Sheppard there is one last thing that you must do and that is to kiss your wife."

Smiling, John pulls Lexi into his arms and kisses her hard, to the cheers of everyone present. As he pulls away, he whispers in her ear, "thank you Lexi."

Pulling back and looking him in the eyes, seeing the emotions playing in them, she smiles and as they are surrounded by everyone, she mouths, "you're welcome."

The party gets started right after the ceremony and being that it's New Year's Eve, people come and go through out the night as their shifts end and begin, counting down to the New Year. John and Lexi stay until just after midnight and sneaking out of the mess hall they make their way back to Lexi's quarters.

As soon as they reach them, John picks her up and mentally opening the doors, he carries her over the threshold, "welcome home, wife."

Smiling as he lets her down gently, she wraps her arms around his neck and the next thing she knows, clothes are flying everywhere and they're cuddled under the blankets making love. Forty minutes later, they fall asleep in each other's arms, her back to his stomach, his left arm draped over her stomach, fingers entwined.

xxxx

The following morning, Lexi wakes up to the first rays of light peeking through the curtains on the windows. Lying in the bed listening to John's breathing, she smiles to herself, as she can't remember a time when she was happier.

Turning over onto her left side, she startles a little as John is blearily blinking back at her, "good morning, husband."

Reaching out and pulling her closer to him, nuzzling her neck, "I like the way that sounds."

Smiling and cuddling closer to him, "me too. But maybe we could go back to sleep?"

Grimacing a little, "yeah, yeah." and trying to suppress a yawn, "this is the only problem with being married to a doctor."

Rubbing his arm, smiling as she feels his breathing evening out, "the key words being, married to." she says under her breath and closing her eyes, she falls asleep a few seconds later.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chap. 17:**

* * *

A few hours later, around ten, Lexi bolts upright in bed trying to catch her breath. Darting her eyes around the room, the fear that has yet to let her out of its grip notches up another level as she realizes that the bed is empty, "John?"

She waits a few nerve-racking seconds and when she doesn't get an answer, she throws the blankets off of herself and slips her feet into her slippers. Standing up quickly, she rushes over to the dresser and pulls out a hoody. Just as she is slipping it on over her head, however, she turns around quickly as she hears the doors swishing open. Seeing John walking into the room, she feels her legs go weak and she sits down hard on the dresser.

Seeing the color leaving her face, rushing to her side and wrapping his arms around her, "Lexi, what's wrong?"

Burying herself deeper into his arms, still freaked out of her mind, "it's noth…nothing. I just…you weren't…here."

Wincing as her grip on him tightens, he sucks in a breath and letting it out slowly, trying to breathe through the pain now radiating through his chest, "sorry. I'm here now."

Loosening her grip on him as she hadn't missed pain in his voice as he spoke, "yeah." and pulling back a little, looking him in the eyes, "where'd you go? I thought we were staying in bed today."

Not meeting her eyes, "we were. But I needed to go for a run."

Gripping his chin gently, turning his face to look at her, "you're not supposed to be running yet."

Pulling his chin out of her hand, but not breaking eye contact, frowning, "Lexi, just because I'm sore doesn't mean that I can't go for a run."

Matching his frown, "John, I know that you're going stir crazy, but…"

Standing up quickly and starting to pace, "but I'm fine!"

Standing up just as fast, planting herself in his path, causing him to stop short and glare at her, "okay." and wrapping her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest, smiling to herself as she hears the steady beat of his heart, "you're fine."

Completely shocked by the fact that she isn't fighting him tooth and nail like she usually does, when it comes to him being a good patient, he hesitantly wraps his arms around her again, "ah Lexi?"

Lifting her head up and looking at him, "yeah?"

"Are you going soft on me or something?"

Chuckling at the look of confusion on his face, "no I'm not going soft. I just don't want to fight."

Raising an eyebrow, leaning down to kiss her and pulling away, "I don't want to fight either, but you usually don't back down. So I'll ask again. What's wrong?"

Sighing and resting her head against his chest again, needing to reassure herself that he is indeed alive and well, as she can vividly remember the nightmare that woke her up, "I lost you."

Not sure he heard her right as she basically whispered the words out, "huh?"

Shuddering as the fear returns, she looks up at him, "you died and Carson and Jen couldn't bring you back."

Realization dawning as to why she's acting like she is, "I'm still here." and pulling her into a hug, wincing as she buries her head in his chest again, "and I don't plan on leaving you any time soon."

"John I…"

Hooking his finger under her chin and capturing her lips with his, he effectively cuts off anything else she was going to say. A few minutes later as he pulls back a little, but doesn't let her go, "look, I'm not gonna tell you not to worry about me, cause I know that you'd just bite my head off if I did. But I am fine. Okay?"

Running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, looking him in the eyes, "okay." and nodding her head in the direction of the bathroom, "shower?"

Quirking an eyebrow at her, "will you be joining me?"

Reaching behind her back, she takes his hand and pulling out of his arms, she pulls him towards the bathroom, "of course."

xxxx

Forty-five minutes later, John is sitting on the couch watching Lexi slide into her sneakers, "feel better?"

Smiling as she comes to stand in front of him, "yeah." and holding out her right hand for him to take, "you ready? Cause I'm starving."

Returning her smile, letting her pull him to his feet, "so when we get back, do we get to do other things?"

Pulling him towards the doors, winking at him, "you bet."


	18. Chapter 18

To All of my readers, and I hope you're still out there, I am so sorry that it has been so long since I last updated this story. I know that I had previously posted Chapter 18 and then took it down. But I needed to change some things and figure out where exactly I was taking this story, as it has been a really long time since I've been in this world (Stargate Atlantis). I think I finally have it figured out and decided that I would post this and the following chapter.

Now a little background: I've done some research and according to a timeline that I saw, although I can't exactly remember where I saw it, the last season of Stargate Atlantis (Season 5) took place in 2008-2009. Which means that the following chapters will take place in January 2009 and beyond.

Also, I'm basing John's birthday off of Joe Flanigan's, as we never really were told when it was.

Now to get the formalities out of the way, as it's been a while:

I do not own Stargate Atlantis, the dialogue from the show or the characters, they are owned by MGM. Dr. Alexa (Lexi) Carter is my own original character. I have tried to research the medical jargon as much as possible, so if any of it is incorrect, I apologize.  
© Jennifer Dreyer, 2009-2012

Please read and review and most of all, enjoy :-)

**Chap. 18:**

* * *

Four days later, around 0340, feeling movement next to her, Lexi turns over and peels her eyes open, "John?"

Startling a little and looking down at her, "sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Smiling up at him, "it's okay." she says, and pulling him down into her arms, her smile fades as she feels him shivering, "you okay?"

Cuddling closer to her, trying to get warm, as he's been waffling between freezing and roasting since he left Gate room, but not wanting to make her worry, "I'm fine. Let's just go to sleep."

Happy that it's pitch black in the room, so he won't see her eye roll, she kisses his forehead and pushing the worry that is coursing through her to the side, "oh all right." and feeling him shifting in her arms, "I'm glad you're home."

"Me…too." he mumbles, as he falls asleep.

Inwardly sighing and glancing at the alarm clock on her bedside table, she smiles to herself as the date on the clock, which reads January 5th, alerts her to the fact that it's his real birthday and with that thought, she closes her eyes and before she knows it she falls asleep as well.

xxxx

The alarm goes off at 0630 and turning over Lexi swats it off. Letting out a sigh, she turns over onto her left side and she starts to worry, as John isn't lying next to her. Sitting up quickly, she scans her eyes around the room, only to let out another sigh, as she sees that the door to the balcony is ajar and the curtains are fluttering in the wind coming in through it.

Climbing out of the bed, she sneezes and cursing the cold that has been plaguing her for the past two days, she grabs John's hoody which is draped over the back of the desk chair and pulling it on over her head she walks out onto the balcony.

Letting the door close quietly behind her, she spots John standing at the railing, staring out at the lightening sky. Not missing the exhaustion that is radiating from him, she walks up behind him, "John?"

Turning his head to look at her, grimacing, "hey." and turning to look out at the sky again, he shivers.

Not missing the grimace or the shiver, "John?"

Grimacing at her, again, "Lexi, leave it alone."

Gripping him by the arm and pulling him towards the door, "leave it alone? You're crazy, you know that?"

Pulling out of her grip and storming back inside, shouting over his shoulder, "I'm not crazy and yes, leave it alone!"

Following him inside, watching him pace back and forth with a frown on her face, "what happened?"

Looking over at her, rage written across his face, "I lost two good men because of a fucking freezing rain storm, and there was nothing I could do to save them!"

Moving to stand in his path, raising an eyebrow at him when he growls at her for getting in his way, "John, you can't control everything, least of all Mother Nature."

Running his fingers through his hair in frustration, "maybe not. But I can try."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kisses him and as she pulls back, "did you see Jen after you got back last night?" she asks, hoping to change the topic.

Not meeting her eyes, "um."

Griping his chin, turning his face to look at her, "you didn't, did you?"

Pulling his chin out of her hand, but not breaking eye contact, "no. I didn't. She had her hands full with taking care of the villagers we brought back."

Resting her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, she lets out a sigh, "oh John."

Matching her sigh, "don't Lexi. Just don't." and inwardly cursing himself for what he's about to ask her, as he's been going back and forth about it since he got back, "how hard would it be for you to ground me for a few days?"

Shocked by this, she pulls back enough to look at him, "I'm sorry. What?"

"You heard me. How hard?"

Frowning as she sees the pleading and annoyance warring in his eyes, "not hard at all." and pulling out of his arms, she heads over to her desk, where she sits down and boots up her laptop, smiling as John comes up behind her and starts massaging her shoulders. Reaching up to squeeze his left hand with hers, she navigates to her email client and opens up a new window, "Jen- John is grounded until I say otherwise and I'm taking you up on that sick leave offer. Please let Mr. Woolsey know. Thanks. I'll be in touch. - Lexi."

Hitting send and leaning her head back, looking up at John, "okay birthday boy, we're grounded."

Leaning over, he kisses her forehead and smiling as he straightens up, "thanks Lexi."

Standing up from her chair, she drapes his left arm over her shoulder and guiding him towards the bed, "now how about we go back to bed?"

Frowning as she helps him into the bed, "I can't sleep."

Matching his frown, as she climbs into the bed next to him, "maybe not, but you should at…" her words are cut off as he pulls her into a hug and buries his head in her shoulder.

Completely taken aback by the fact that he's now shaking like a leaf, she inwardly sighs, as she knows that he won't let himself cry this time around. But as she readjusts her grip on him, she whispers in his ear, "I'm right here. It's okay to let it out."

He doesn't say anything, but he does tighten his grip on her, as he doesn't trust his voice right now.

Twenty minutes later finally able to reign in his emotions, "I really am tired Lexi."

Kissing his neck, "I know."

Pulling back and leaning against the pillows, looking her in the eyes, "can I ask you a question?"

Reaching up to run her fingers through his hair, rubbing his left temple with her thumb, "sure, what?"

Closing his eyes and turning his head into her touch, as it lessens the throbbing that has taken up residence behind his eyes, "what would you say if I decided to give it all up?"

Continuing to run her thumb along his temple, raising an eyebrow, "you mean Atlantis don't you?"

Blinking his eyes open, slowly nodding his head, "yeah. So, what do you think?"

"Oh John, don't get me wrong. There's a huge part of me that would love nothing more then to have you all to myself and not have to worry about losing you ever again."

"But."

Smiling a little, "but, I know you John. You might think that you'd be okay with it, but eventually you'd hate yourself for giving it up and then you'd be hell to live with."

Sighing and shifting further under the blankets, "how'd you know that's what I wanted to hear you say?"

Shifting so that she's lying on her stomach, resting her chin on his chest and looking him in the eyes, "like I said. I know you and I also know that right now you love what you're doing too much to give it up."

Letting out another sigh, he closes his eyes and scrubbing his face, "I don't love it as much as I used too."

Turning over and sliding out of the bed, she heads for the desk and as she pulls open the top draw, "I know. But you still love it more than you hate it."

Blinking his eyes open, watching her as she walks over to the fridge, "I guess so, it's just not as easy as it was."

Coughing and sniffling as she straightens up from grabbing two bottles of Gatorade from the fridge, "well think about it, before you came to Atlantis, you didn't have anyone you considered family. Now you do."

Tracking her as she walks towards him and smiling a little as she climbs into the bed, "and it's about to grow by one."

Handing him a Gatorade bottle and a couple of Tylenol, "that's not entirely correct."

Accepting the Gatorade and the Tylenol and sitting up straighter against the pillows, worry starting to course through him, "what do you mean? Is everything okay?"

Swallowing some Gatorade and smiling, "John, relax. Everything is fine, in fact I'd say it's better then fine." and placing the Gatorade down on the night stand, biting her bottom lip, "I ah, I saw Jen yesterday and it turns out that we're having twins."

Nearly choking on his Gatorade, he coughs and coughs and the next thing he knows Lexi is rubbing circles on his back, "what did…you say?" he asks, as he gets his breathing under control.

Fiddling with the rings on her ring finger, "we're having twins."

Slumping against the pillows, scrubbing his face as the news sinks in, "twins?"

Frowning as she sees the color leaving his face, "yeah." and trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall, but having no luck, "John?"

Looking at her, seeing the tears, he pulls her into his arms and kissing her forehead, "I'm sorry Lexi. It just took me by surprise. That's all." and looking down at her, wiping the tears away with his thumb, "it's wonderful news."

Leaning up to kiss him, pulling away a little, "are you sure?"

Smiling again, he slides on top of her and pulling off the hoody and tank top she's wearing, throwing them on the floor, he kisses his way down to her stomach and looking up at her, continuing to kiss her stomach, talking through the kisses, "yes I'm…sure. It's the…best birthday…present I could ask…for."

Returning his smile, she reaches down and running her fingers through his hair, she sits up, which causes him to sit up as well and pulling his t-shirt off and also throwing it on the floor she leans in and kisses him. As she shifts position to deepen the kiss, she pulls him down on top of her, digging her fingers into his back as he catches her in just the right spot.

xxxx

Two hours later, around 0915, Lexi is lying in John's arm, her head resting on his chest, listening to him sleep. He had fallen asleep shortly after they finished making out and she had dozed on and off for a while before a craving for peanut butter and bananas had woken her up. However, just as she shifts to try and get out of the bed, John lets out a moan and worried that extricating herself from his arms will wake him up, she chooses to just lie there in his arms and let him sleep, _especially since he's actually sleeping, _she thinks to herself.

Twenty minutes later, lifting her head up off of John's chest again, she runs her eyes over him and feeling her stomach growl, she lets out a sigh, as she can't put off getting something to eat any longer. Throwing the blankets off of herself, she pulls out of his arms, slowly, holding her breath as he turns over onto his left side.

Letting the breath out in relief, as he doesn't wake up, she recovers him with the blankets and bending over, she picks up her tank top and sweatshirt and slips them on. Walking into the bathroom, she mentally shuts the doors and reaching for her toothbrush, she brushes her teeth. A couple of minutes later after relieving herself and washing her hands, she walks out of the bathroom and with a quick look at John, smiling as she sees that he's still sleeping, she slides her feet into her slippers and grabbing her radio from her bedside table, she slips it on her ear and quietly walks out of the quarters.

Heading for the transporter, she runs over everything that they talked about or more accurately didn't talk about and getting lost in her thoughts, she doesn't hear Keller shouting her name until Keller's hand lands on her shoulder and nearly jumping out of her skin, "jeeze Jen. Give me a warning why don't you?"

Gripping her elbow to keep her steady, "sorry. I did call your name." and letting her go, "how're you feeling?"

Rolling her eyes, "about the same as I did yesterday when you checked me over. How long did you say this cold is supposed to last?"

Frowning, "you should be better by the end of the week. But that's just a guess, your blood work showed that it's a strain of the Pegasus rhino virus, so it could last a bit longer."

Turning and continuing to head for the transporter, "great."

Falling into step with her, "I'm sorry Lexi. You know I'd give you something stronger than Tylenol cold if I could, but…"

Reaching the transporter and swiping them into it, "it's okay. It's just annoying."

Smiling as she hits the map for the mess hall, "it continues to amaze me how much you sound like the Colonel." and seeing the frown on Lexi's face, "is he doing okay?"

Sneezing into her elbow and stepping out of the transporter, "well he's asleep."

Walking next to her on their way to the mess, "that's good. From what the rest of his team told me, after everything settled down last night, he didn't get much of it on the mission." and reaching the doors leading into the mess, swiping them open, "how's he coping with the loss?"

Walking into the mess, "oh you know. He's blaming himself as usual."

Leading her over to the food line, "why am I not surprised?" and picking up a tray, waiting for Lexi to do the same, "anyway, I was going to radio you this morning and have you bring him down, but then I got your email."

Choosing what she wants to eat, "yeah. Sorry about that. John asked if I could ground him for a few days." and taking an extra helping of turkey sausage and eggs, "to tell you the truth I would've grounded him even if he hadn't asked me to do it. I think he's suffering from CSR."

Watching Lexi as she grabs a banana and some peanut butter, "maybe you should bring him down to see me."

Grabbing a bottle of water and leading Keller over to the table where she spotted Ronon, Teyla, Torren and McKay, "no Jen. For now just let him be. It's nothing I can't handle right now." and seeing the look that Keller is giving her as they sit down, "look, if I think that it's something that can be treated medically, I'll radio you."

"Is John all right?"

Looking at Teyla as she spreads the peanut butter on the banana, "not really. But as I was just saying to Jen, it doesn't warrant a trip to see her."

"Lexi, when did you start eating as much as Ronon and me?"

Looking up at McKay from spearing a piece of turkey sausage with her fork, she looks back down at her tray and back up at everyone else at the table and seeing the questioning looks on Ronon, McKay and Teyla's faces, "ah. Um." and taking a bite of the turkey sausage, chewing it and sharing a look with Keller, she swallows and seeing that everyone is still waiting on an answer, she lowers her voice, "I'm pregnant."

Smiling and feeding Torren, "oh Lexi. That's wonderful news."

Sharing a look with Ronon and then looking at Lexi, smiling, "I'm assuming Sheppard knows."

Biting into the banana and chewing, talking around it, "of course he knows."

"Did you tell him about…"

Looking at Keller, smiling, "yeah. Last night. He was understandably shocked at first, but so was I when you told me that I'm having twins."

Spluttering, "wait. What?"

Looking at McKay, "I'm having twins."

Tearing into a pancake, "congrats Lexi."

Smiling at Ronon, "thanks." and looking at all of them, "I hope that you guys can keep this between us for now. I don't want anyone telling Evan before I do."

Sharing a look with everyone else at the table, as she wipes Torren's mouth, "we will keep it quiet Lexi. Don't worry."

Smiling again, "thanks guys."

The group continues chatting and eating and half an hour later with a "see you later" and a promise to Keller that she will contact her if either she or John get any worse, Lexi heads out of the mess and as she does so, she hits her radio, "Dr. Carter to Major Lorne."

"Go ahead Lexi."

Swiping herself into the transporter, looking at the map, "Evan, where are you?"

"I'm in the ready room. Why, is something wrong?"

Hitting the screen for her desired destination, "nothing's wrong. I just need to tell you something. I should be there in a couple of minutes."

"All right Lexibeth. I'll be waiting. Lorne out."

Shaking her head in annoyance as the radio shuts down, she coughs a couple of times and as the doors open to let her out of the transporter her radio goes off, "Control to Dr. Carter."

Reaching up to activate her radio, "go ahead Amelia."

"Lexi, Mr. Woolsey is looking for you."

Sighing as she reaches the doors leading into the ready room, "tell him that I'll stop by as soon as I can."

"See that it's soon. Please." and in the background, Lexi can hear Woolsey's angry voice yelling at Amelia.

Chuckling, but ending up coughing instead, clearing her throat, "I'll be there soon. I promise. Carter out." and as the radio shuts down, she walks into the ready room and easily spotting Lorne at the front of the room, "Evan?"

Looking up from the tablet he's got in his hands, he smiles as he sees her walking towards him and taking in her attire, "did you just roll out of bed?"

Returning his smile, "sort of." and sitting down, looking up at him, "so."

Leaning against the table that is behind him, placing the tablet down on it and meeting her gaze, "so. What's up?"

Looking down at her hands, twisting the rings on her ring finger, "um." and looking up at him again, "oh, this is harder than I thought it would be."

Pushing himself off of the table, he sits down next to her and taking her hands in his, he gently grips her chin, forcing her to look at him, "Lexi, come on. You've always been able to talk to me. What's going on?"

Pulling her chin out of his hand, but not breaking eye contact, she takes a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "I'm pregnant with twins."

Smiling even more, "twins? As in two."

Rolling her eyes, "yes Evan. Two babies."

Pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek, "this is the best news I've gotten in a long time."

Pulling back from him, but not out of his arms, "really?"

Raising an eyebrow at her, smile disappearing, "yes really. Why are you so surprised?"

Sighing, "oh Evan. I guess it's just…do you remember what you asked me before you left for Hawaii?"

"Yeah. I asked you if you were sure about marrying Sheppard." and realizing where this conversation is going, "Lexi, listen very carefully to me, okay?"

Nodding and biting her bottom lip, "okay."

"You're my best friend in two galaxies. I love you. I always have and I always will. But you and I both know that we never worked as that kind of couple. You and Sheppard do and I should've never doubted that. So like I said, this is the best news I've gotten in a while."

Pulling him into a hug again, resting her chin on his shoulder, "thanks Evan." and pulling back, looking him in the eyes, smiling, "can you do me a favor?"

Returning her smile, "of course."

"Well, John is probably gonna ask Ronon and Rodney. But seeing as you are also my best friend in two galaxies, I'd love it if you would be my kids' honorary uncle. So will you?"

Completely taken aback by the request, but recovering quickly, he kisses her wrist and pulling her into his arms again, "it would be my honor."

"Dr. Carter to Control. Dr. Carter."

Pulling back and looking at Lexi, "what's that about?"

Standing up and leaning over, she kisses his cheek and straightening up, "Woolsey's pissed cause I grounded John and evidently he has other ideas."

Raising an eyebrow and also getting up, walking her to the doors, "why'd you ground him?"

"Lets just say that getting caught in a freezing rain storm and getting little to no sleep is not the best thing for ones' health." and seeing the concern plastered across his face, "don't worry, he's gonna be fine. He just needs a few days off and you know that he wouldn't have taken them any other way."

Chuckling, "you've got that right." and looking her over, he remembers that she's been fighting a cold, "please tell me that you're taking the time off as well."

Smiling as they reach the doors, "yeah, as soon as I'm done with Woolsey, I'm gonna head back to bed."

Pulling her into a hug again, "good. If you need anything just radio me."

Pulling out of his arms and walking out of the doors, talking over her shoulder, "I will. Thanks again. I'll see you later."

Heading back to the table and reaching for his tablet he smiles to himself as the news about Lexi's pregnancy really is the best news he's gotten in a really long time.

xxxx

Walking out of the ready room, Lexi heads straight for the transporter and swiping her way into it, she hits the map for her desired destination. A few seconds later, as she steps out of the transporter in the hallway just outside of the Gate room, she lets out a sigh, as she really doesn't want to have to deal with Woolsey right now.

As she walks up the stairs leading into the Control room, she doesn't miss the looks that everyone is throwing her way and remembering that she's currently wearing her pjays and slippers, she simply smiles and shrugs at them. Reaching the door leading into Woolsey's office, knocking on the doorframe, "Mr. Woolsey?"

Looking up from his desk, taking in what Lexi is wearing, but dismissing it, motioning for her to sit down and getting down to business, "Dr. Carter, may I ask why you felt it was necessary to ground Colonel Sheppard?"

Sitting down and meeting his gaze, "of course you may. But I'm under no obligation to give you an explanation."

Raising an eyebrow at her, "as a matter of fact, protocol states that you do in fact have to give me one."

Coughing a little to clear her throat and sniffling, she rubs her forehead and meeting his gaze again, "fine." and standing up, "Colonel Sheppard is grounded due to exhaustion stemming from a case of combat stress reaction. However, if you feel the need to have another opinion back mine up, feel free to have Dr. Keller examine him. Now if you'll excuse me, I have decided to take Dr. Keller up on her offer of sick leave and I am going back to bed."

Completely stunned by the fact that Lexi just raised her voice at him, it takes his brain a couple of seconds to realize that she has already walked out of his office and reaching up to activate his radio, "Woolsey to Dr. Keller."

"Go ahead Mr. Woolsey."

"Doctor, I would appreciate it if you could examine Dr. Carter and Colonel Sheppard and report back to me."

"Is something wrong?"

Sighing, "I'm not certain."

"I'll see to it right away. Keller out."

Letting out a sigh as the radio link shuts down, Woolsey picks up the folder he was reading before Lexi had shown up and continues where he left off.

xxxx

Leaving Woolsey's office, Lexi had all but ignored the stunned looks everyone in the Control room was throwing her way and it isn't until she reaches her quarters that it hits her how out of line she just was. Swiping her way into her quarters, sneezing and sniffling, which only fuels the anger coursing through her, she walks through them and swiping her way out onto the balcony, she mentally shuts the door and walking over to the railing, she lets out a scream.

A few minutes later, "feel better?"

Startling a little at the sound of John's voice, she turns around to face him, leaning heavily against the railing, "not really." and as he walks up to her and wraps his arms around her waist, she wraps her arms around his neck, "I'm sorry I woke you."

Leaning in and kissing her, pulling back, "it's okay, turn around's fair play and anyway, I wasn't really sleeping." and tightening his grip around her waist, "where were you?"

Unclasping her hands from around his neck, fingering his dog tags, "well, I got hungry and couldn't sleep anymore, so I went down to the mess."

Reaching up to grip her hands, he pulls her over to the chairs that are to the right of the door and sitting down, he pulls her down onto his lap, "and you got angry cause they didn't have what you wanted?"

Frowning, "no. I got angry cause Mr. Woolsey questioned my ability to do my job."

Shifting her a little on his lap, "how so?"

Running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, smiling as his eyes close, "he had the balls to ask why I grounded you. Which he has every right to do apparently, but..."

Snapping his eyes open, as he doesn't miss the anger inching into her voice, "please tell me that you didn't hit him."

Scowling at him, "no John. I didn't hit him. But I did yell at him."

Letting out a sigh of relief, "well that's not so bad. I've yelled at him."

Standing up and holding out her hand, "true. But you're his second in command."

Taking her hand and letting her pull him to his feet, grimacing as the world spins a little, "and that…makes it okay?"

Draping his left arm over her shoulders, looking up at him as she guides him back inside, "I guess not. It's just…"

Letting her ease him down onto the bed, pulling her down next to him, "Lexi, don't worry about it. He's not gonna hold it against…" and he trails off as the door chime goes off.

They look over at the doors and then each other and raising an eyebrow at him, she calls out, "who is it?"

"It's Dr. Keller."

They both let out a sigh and as Lexi buries her head in John's shoulder, he smiles and whispers in her ear, "I've got this." and mentally opening the doors, he tracks Keller as she walks towards them, "hey doc. What's with the visit?"

Running her eyes over them, inwardly sighing as she sees Lexi's head buried in John's shoulder, "Mr. Woolsey radioed and asked if I could check up on you." and coming over to John's left side, pulling out the LSD, "how're you guys feeling?"

Pulling out of John's arms, sitting up and looking at Keller, watching as she scans John, "I can't believe him. He actually doesn't trust my opinion."

Drawing her eyes away from the scanner, looking at Lexi and back to the scanner, "that's not an answer to my question."

Feeling John's eyes on her, ignoring him, she gets out of the bed and walking around to Keller's side, she grips Keller's arm and as she pulls her towards the door, "we're fine Jen."

Pulling her arm out of Lexi's grip, staring at her shocked, "Lexi, what are you doing?" and hearing John getting out of the bed, she looks over at him and seeing the expression on his face, she purses her lips and nodding her head, she turns and walks out of the quarters without another word.

Feeling John's arms wrapping around her waist, his lips on her neck, Lexi lets out a sigh and entwining her fingers with his, "now I know how Teyla felt."

Turning her around in his arms, meeting her eyes, "what do you mean?"

Gripping the front of his t-shirt with her hands, "the night that she called me to her quarters, she said she hated being pregnant because it threw her emotions out of whack." and burying her head in his chest, starting to cry even though she doesn't mean to, "I'd have…to say…that mine…are officially…out of…whack."

Sighing, he tightens his grip around her and rubbing her back, "I'd have to agree with you. But, please don't cry."

Looking up at him, "I can't…help…it."

Reaching up to swipe a tear off her cheek, he leans in and kisses her and as he pulls back, "I'm sorry."

Seeing the frown on his face, but completely confused as to why he's apologizing, "what do you have to apologize for?"

Shrugging and raising an eyebrow, "I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to say."

Sniffling and smiling a little, "well thanks. But you don't have to apologize. I do and not just to you." and pulling out of his arms, heading for the bathroom, "as a matter of fact, I should probably go apologize now."

Walking up behind her, gripping her arm to pull her up short before she reaches the bathroom, turning her to face him again, "it can wait. Come to bed."

Opening her mouth to protest, but catching the pleading in his eyes, she nods her head and lets him guide her back to the bed. Climbing into it, she cuddles up to him, resting her head on his chest and a few minutes later, just as she's about to fall asleep, "Lexi?" cuts through the silence of the room.

Opening her eyes and shifting so she is lying on her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows, she frowns as she notices the pain lines etched around his eyes and reaching out, she starts running her fingers through his hair.

"Better?" she asks after a couple of minutes.

Forcing his eyes open, smiling a little, "yeah." and letting his eyes drift shut again as the headache starts to recede a little, "thanks."

Leaning in to kiss him on the lips, pulling away, "you're welcome. Just go to sleep."

Smiling and mumbling a "yes mom." he listens to her and drifts off.

Lexi watches as he falls asleep and a couple of minutes later, when she's certain that he's out, she shifts so that her head is resting on his chest and before she knows it, she's out like a light as well.

xxxx

About nine hours later, around 1900 (January 5), Lexi is walking back to her quarters, an apple and a pickle in her hand. She had slept on and off during the day, not really getting much sleep for a number of reasons. The main one being that John hadn't been able to stay asleep due to a migraine, that wouldn't let up.

Eventually, she had been forced to give him the strongest pain pill she had in her possession and satisfied that he would finally be able to get some uninterrupted sleep, she knew that she wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep herself. So instead, she had headed into the bathroom to take a shower and after getting dressed and checking on John once more; she had headed out of the quarters for the mess. On her way there she had also decided to stop and apologize to Keller and Woolsey for the way she had acted.

Playing the conversations she had just had with Woolsey and Keller over in her head, she doesn't realize that she's already inside her quarters, until her eyes land on the empty bed.

Taking in the rumpled sheets and the radio on John's bedside table, panic engulfs her for the second time that day and dropping the apple and the pickle on the dresser that is next to the entrance to the quarters, she turns to hurry out of the quarters only for the lights to flicker and the doors to the quarters to close and open.

As they do so, Lexi feels the strongest wave of vertigo assault her and reaching out to brace herself against the wall, her eyes close of their own volition and the next thing that registers is the worry coursing through Atlantis and an image of John popping up in her minds eye.

Just as she opens her eyes, her radio goes off and reaching up to activate it, "go ahead Rodney."

"Lexi, where the hell is Sheppard?"

Hurrying out of the quarters for the transporter, feeling Atlantis pulling her, "he's in the Chair room Rodney. Get Jen and meet me down there as soon as you can."

"Why's he in the Chair room? There's no maintenance scheduled and no warnings popped up."

Reaching the transporter, she is completely surprised that she doesn't have to reach out to swipe her way into it, as it simply opens for her, "I don't know. But Atlantis is worried." and as the lights flicker again and she steps out into the main hallway leading to the Chair room, "she doesn't know what John is doing either."

"Okay, we're on our…"

Stopping short as the radio cuts off, "Rodney? Rodney, come in." and she frowns as she gets no response. Letting out a huff of frustration, she starts for the Chair room again, only for the lights to go out completely and as vertigo hits her again, she reaches out for the nearest wall. But the next thing she knows, she feels herself falling and the last thing she is aware of as Atlantis screams in her mind, is gentle but strong hands catching her and an image of John fighting for all he's worth to stay in the chair.

* * *

Just a side note: I'm taking liberties here in regards to Lexi and her connection to Atlantis. I believe that since she and John are natural carriers of the Ancient gene, it would make sense that their children would be as well. I liken it to what happend to Teyla when she was pregnant with Torren.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chap. 19: **

**Takes place night of January 5, 2009 1900 AST (Atlantis Standard Time) through morning of January 7th.**

* * *

Bolting up in bed, John feels his heart thundering in his chest and quickly looking around the room, he nearly topples over as the movement screws with his equilibrium. Closing his eyes, he takes a couple of deep breaths to calm his stomach and lying back down, he scrubs his face, as he can't seem to shake the feeling that someone is in the room, "Lexi?"

"No John. She's not here. But I am."

Before he can sit up again, he feels himself being pinned to the bed and as he looks up into the face of the owner of the voice that had answered him, shock courses through him, "Chaya?"

Sneering, "ah, so you do remember me."

Swallowing hard, as his stomach is still threatening to rebel, "how…could I forget?"

"Well, I was just wondering. Because as I remember it, you promised to come visit and I have not seen you since we shared each other."

Wincing as he shifts in the bed, trying to loosen her grip on him, "yeah…I guess I did. But…you see…I kinda got busy trying to keep my people safe from the Wraith…and such."

Sneer turning into a frown, "and that's the whole reason why I'm here."

Wincing again as the shrillness of her voice amps up the pounding in his head, "I don't…get it."

Tightening her grip on him, "the Wraith came and I couldn't stop them this time. There were too many. My people are…"

Realization hits like a truck, "gone." he finishes for her and matching her frown, "I'm so sorry Chaya."

Sobbing, she releases her grip on him and talking through the sobs, "ha. It's a…little late for…that." and shifting into her non-corporeal form, "I am going to make you suffer the way that I have suffered."

Hearing her voice echoing around the room, it takes a second for him to realize what is about to happen, but before he can move, she enters his body, causing him to let out a scream of pain.

The next thing he knows, he's in the Control chair, disrupting the power through out Atlantis and realizing that Chaya is about to destroy his city, he puts all his remaining strength into trying to stop her.

xxxx

"Lexi?"

Slowly but surly awareness starts to return and as it does so, Lexi is aware of two things. First that Atlantis is still screaming in her head and second that she's currently lying on a hard surface.

"Come on Lexi, wake up."

Recognizing Ronon's voice, she forces her eyes open and blinking them a couple of times to get them to focus, it hits her that the reason why she can hardly see him, is that the lights are still out, "hey." she croaks out.

Helping her sit up, keeping a steadying hand on her shoulder, "are you okay?"

Gripping his arm, "I've been better." and looking up at him, "help me up. We've got to get to the Chair room. John's in trouble."

Frowning, "what else is new?" and smirking as he can just make out the glare she throws his way, he helps her to her feet and looking her over, "you good if I let go?"

Smiling a little, "yeah. Thanks." and stepping away from him as he lets go of her, she nearly face plants into the floor, as everything whites out around her, as Atlantis's screaming intensifies in her head and the next thing she knows, Ronon is standing in front of her, gently griping both of her elbows, staring at her with concern, "I'm…okay. But we've…got to…hurry."

Lifting her up into his arms, shrugging at the look she gives him, "what?"

Raising an eyebrow, "I can walk."

Heading in the direction of the Chair room, "this is faster."

Rolling her eyes, but instantly regretting it as the world tilts on her a little, "good…point." and closing her eyes, Atlantis's screaming stops, but only long enough to alert her to what is happening.

Opening her eyes again, "Ronon, you can't go in there with me."

Stopping short and looking down at Lexi, confusion written across his face, "but?"

"Just trust me on this."

"Ronon?"

Turning around with Lexi still in his arms, the corridor is illuminated by P90 lights and flashlights as McKay, Keller, Teyla, Lorne and a group of marines all come to a stop in front of them, "Lexi are you okay?"

Nodding at Ronon and then looking at Keller as Ronon puts her down, "not right now Jen." and looking at everyone else, "Chaya is here. She's the one doing all of this."

Sharing a look with Teyla, "Chaya as in Athar? How do you know that?"

Rubbing her forehead, peering at McKay through squinted eyes, "Atlantis told me." and turning to look at Lorne, "haven't you heard her?"

Nodding at the marines to take up a perimeter around the hallway, "yeah. She's been screaming at me for a while now. But I couldn't make out what she was saying." and looking at the rest of the group, "if Chaya's really here, then we're in trouble. We don't have anything that can stop an ascended Ancient."

"Lexi thinks she can."

Blushing, as five sets of eyes all fall on her, "I never said that I could stop her. All I said was that I need to go in there on my own."

"But Lexi, if you go in there, how do you expect to stop her? I hate to say it but you've looked better."

Locking her eyes on Keller, not missing the fact that she's trying to hide the LSD behind her back, "I'll be fine." and walking away from the group, heading closer to the entrance to the Chair room, "Rodney, do you have anyone down in the ZPM room?"

Falling into step next to her, Ronon and Teyla on either side of them, "yeah. Zelenka's down there now, we're on walkies. Why?"

Looking over her shoulder to make sure that Keller and Lorne are following, happy that they are, she refocuses on McKay, "tell him to disconnect the ZPM."

Raising an eyebrow, "why?"

Rubbing her forehead again, "cause she's an Ancient and I'm sure she has a back up plan."

Nodding, he clicks on the walkie talkie, "Radek, disconnect the ZedPM from the grid…Why?...Because I said so…Good. Thanks." and turning off the radio, handing it to Lexi, "okay. We're good."

Accepting the radio from McKay, she stops right outside the Chair room and turning to look at everyone, "okay. I'm gonna go in there." and holding up her hand to forestall the protests she can tell everyone is about to make, "look, I can't tell you why I have to be the only one to go in there, but according to Atlantis, I'm the only one who can. So…" she trails off as everything whites out around her again and through the excruciating pain, she hears Atlantis telling her to hurry as she and John can't fight off Chaya much longer.

Snapping her eyes open, she isn't surprised to find four sets of very concerned looking eyes on her, "I'm fine."

Stepping forward and gripping Lexi's elbow to steady her, "are you crazy?"

Pulling out of Keller's grip, "sorry Jen. But I've got to help John and Atlantis."

"She's right doc."

Looking from Lexi to Lorne, seeing the dazed look that is plastered across his face, "Major?"

Shaking his head to clear it, focusing on Keller, "I'm good, doc. But Lexi is the only one who can stop Chaya." and motioning at Lexi's retreating back, "and there's nothing we can do to stop her."

As one, Keller, Ronon, McKay and Teyla all turn to see Lexi disappearing into the Chair room and before anyone can say anything, the floor beneath their feet starts to shake violently and as they all stumble to the walls to keep themselves standing, McKay vocalizes what they are all thinking, "this is so not good."

xxxx

Walking into the Chair room, Lexi stops short, as the sight that meets her eyes is worse then the images that Atlantis has been showing her. The Chair room is bathed in light and the Chair is active. Assuming that the only way that this can be possible is that Chaya is powering the room and the Chair, she steps further into the room, stumbling as the floor shakes under her feet, "Chaya?"

Shimmering into existence inches away from Lexi's face, anger and hurt radiating from her, "who the hell are you?"

Taking a step back, gaining her balance as the floor stops shaking and looking over Chaya's shoulder at John, her resolve strengthens, "my name is Lexi Carter. I'm his wife."

Advancing on her, "ah. So you're who he chose over me." and looking her up and down, "I know that Atlantis thinks that you'll be able to stop me. But you cannot."

Not backing down from her, but allowing sympathy to enter her voice, "Chaya, I can't imagine what it feels like to lose everyone that you care about, but please don't destroy Atlantis and John. This galaxy needs them to fight the Wraith."

Refocusing on John and mentally readjusting her hold on him, as he is still struggling, albeit weaker than before, "if he had not woken the Wraith. My people would still be alive!"

Walking silently to Chaya's side, placing a hand on her shoulder, "please Chaya, you know that's not the case."

Shrugging Lexi's hand off of her shoulder, Chaya turns non-corporeal again and before Lexi can even blink, she has entered John's body again and as Lexi watches in horror, John's eyes snap open and focus on her, "put the ZPM back or I will kill John."

Frowning as she can't reconcile the fact that Chaya's voice is now coming from John's mouth, she turns on the radio, "Radek, this is Lexi, put the ZPM back."

"But…"

"Radek, listen to her."

"Thanks Rodney."

"Okay. Inserting ZPM."

A few seconds later, vertigo assaults Lexi again, but doesn't knock her loopy this time. Instead the vertigo dissipates quickly and in its wake, she can feel every single system in Atlantis available to her like she's never felt them before and as Atlantis suggests a plan of action to her, she takes a step forward, staring John in the eyes_, _"Chaya, use me instead." she says, putting the plan into action.

Leaving John's body and taking on solid form again, sneering at Lexi, "why would I use you? "

Looking at John, she sees his half lidded eyes locked on her, fear and anger warring in them and as she mentally connects with him through Atlantis, "_forgive me John_," she refocuses on Chaya, "because I'm stronger then he is. Can't you sense it?"

Smiling as she does in fact sense that Lexi is stronger, she advances on her, "well you certainly are."

The next thing Lexi knows, Chaya is coming at her and bracing herself mentally and physically, she smiles as she hears Chaya's scream of pain upon entering her body, "_and you thought that I couldn't stop you?"_

Trying to escape Lexi's body, "_how is…this…possible?_"

"_Well, as soon as you entered my body Atlantis surrounded me with the shield."_

Still struggling, _"but I can usually pass through the shield. Why can I not do so now?"_

"_Because I modified the frequency as soon as you entered my body and now that I have your undivided attention, this is what is going to happen. You will let John go immediately and then you will leave Atlantis and never come back."_

Suddenly realizing the reason for Lexi's strength, she focuses all her anger and power and just before she acts, _"ah, but are you certain you want to save John and not your unborn children?"_

Letting out a nervous breath, but hearing Atlantis' reassurance that Chaya won't be able to inflict any harm to her or the unborn babies, _"I'm sure."_

Letting out a mental growl and beginning her attack, _"then so be it."_

The next thing Chaya knows, she is in chains and can't move a muscle and mentally screaming, _"no! I should've been able to kill them!" _

"_I'm sorry Chaya, but right now even though you are ascended, I am stronger then you. I don't know how it's possible, but it is. So, will you let John go?"_

Starting to struggle even harder, _"if it means that he will suffer as much as I have. Then yes."_ and smiling wide, she releases her hold on John and focuses all her energy on attacking Lexi.

Feeling Chaya's hold on John release, Lexi mentally tells Atlantis to let Keller, Lorne, Teyla, McKay and Ronon into the Chair room and then focuses all of her attention on fighting off Chaya. As Chaya attacks her again and again, she feels herself weakening a little, but then out of nowhere, she gains a burst of energy and realizing that Chaya is now on the defensive, she uses every ounce of energy and power that she can tap into and forces Chaya out of the City.

Pushing Chaya out into the skies above the City, she smiles as she feels the soft mental embrace of someone who she hasn't felt since the snake on the mainland had bitten her, _"Teer."_

"_Hello Lexi. You have done well."_

Letting out a sigh as she feels the other presences surrounding her, _"thanks. But will you take care of her now?"_

"_Yes. We will. That is why we are here."_

Suddenly realizing that she has no concept of how much time has passed, if any, _"how long?"_

"_You have been fighting her off for thirty six hours. It is now the day you humans call January 7 and it is early morning." _

Worry seeping through her, _"are John and Atlantis okay? Are my…"_ she trails off as she can't bare to say it out loud.

"_Everyone is fine. The lives inside you are still strong and Dr. Keller has been taking care of John. However, you must return to them now."_

Feeling herself becoming weightless, she lets herself float and smiling again as she senses Teer and the others leaving, _"thank you Teer."_

"_No, Lexi. Thank you. You have saved our legacy."_

With that Teer and the other ascended Ancients take Chaya with them and as they do so, Lexi succumbs to the weariness that is permeating her very soul and the last thing that registers is John's tired but relieved face looking at her before she passes out in his arms.


	20. Chapter 20

AN: So the following chapter takes place from the morning of January 9 through the afternoon of January 10. In my head and from the research I've been able to do, John and the team leave on the Daedalus to go after the super hive ship the afternoon of Jan. 10 and they're stuck on Daedalus for the week of Jan. 11-17. Which means that they get back to Atlantis on January 17, John goes through the gate and Atlantis flies back for a few days and then the balcony scene where they're looking at the Golden Gate bridge takes place around January 22-24.

I'm so sorry that this has taken so long to post. But real life has taken hold and I will hopefully get this story finished within the next couple of weeks. Please read and review.

**Chap. 20:**

* * *

_"I'm sorry John. But we've lost Lexi and the babies. Chaya was just too strong."_

Sitting down hard on a chair in the waiting room, _"no. She was just fine when I…"_ and burying his head in his hands, _"no. No. No. Lexi!"_

xxxx

Feeling John thrashing in the bed next to her, Lexi sits up quickly and taking in everything, she reaches out and resting her hand against his cheek, "John, wake up!"

It takes a few seconds, but eventually his eyes snap open and as they settle on her, he leans into her touch, "Lexi?"

Running her thumb over his cheek, "yeah John. I'm right here and the babies are just fine."

Taking in a deep breath, he lets it out slowly and closing his eyes, embarrassment sweeps over him as he realizes that this is the fifth time since Keller released them back to their quarters, that she's had to wake him up, _way to go John. Get a gr…_

"John."

Hearing Lexi say his name, he opens his eyes to see her glaring at him and offering up a sheepish smile, "sorry?"

Sighing, "what have I been telling you for the past two days?"

Reaching up to pull her down into a kiss, talking through it, "that…it's…not my…fault."

Kissing her way down to his throat, she smiles as he lets out a moan of content and the next thing she knows, he's flipped her onto her back and is looking her in the eyes, "good. I'm finally getting through to you."

Frowning and pulling away from her, he sits up and running his hands over his face, "yeah Lexi. You're getting through to me."

Sitting up, she slips her arms around his waist and kissing his shoulder, "you say that like it's a bad thing."

Leaning back into her embrace, "it's not a bad thing. It's just that, you nearly died. Again."

Tightening her grip on him, "no John. I didn't almost die again. You did and if I hadn't done what I did, you would be dead. She was going to kill you and destroy Atlantis."

Shifting around to pin her against the bed so quickly that she can only gasp in surprise, "so you had to go play the hero?! That's my job!"

Wincing a little as his grip is just this side of painful, "oh for g-d's sakes. How many times are we going to have this conversation?"

Letting her go and climbing out of the bed, he slips into his sneakers and without another word, he storms out of their quarters.

Rubbing her arms where he had gripped her and letting out a growl of frustration, she also climbs out of the bed, "of all the stupid, idiotic…" she trails off at the sound of the door chime and slipping on her slippers, "yeah, hang on a sec."

Reaching the door, she swipes it open, and pasting a smile on when she sees Lorne standing there, in workout clothes, "oh, Evan. Hi."

Thumbing over his shoulder, "everything okay? I saw Sheppard on my way back from the gym and he looked pissed."

Frowning, as she turns around and heads over to her dresser, "no. Everything is not okay." and pulling out some yoga pants and one of John's t-shirts, "I've got to go chase down my husband, cause he's an unbelievably stupid and frustrating man."

Walking over to her, glad that the rooms are sound proof and that no one can hear this conversation, once the door has slid shut, "don't. Let him run it out."

Glaring at him as he comes to a stop in front of her, "I can't just let him run it out. He's got to get it through his head that this whole situation with Chaya, wasn't his fault."

Reaching out to gently grip her chin, "Lexi, think about what you just said." and pulling her into a hug, as he sees the tears starting to fall, "he has gotten it through his head and that's why he's pissed. I'd be pissed too."

Pulling out of his arms and sitting down on the dresser, "but why? I only did what you guys do all the time."

Sighing, "yeah, but it's not your job to do that. It's ours."

Crossing her arms over her chest, letting out a frustrated breath, "yeah, that's what John said."

Sitting down next to her on the dresser, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "so. Just let him be. Okay?"

Resting her head on his shoulder, biting her bottom lip, "I guess I don't really have a choice. Do I?"

Resting his head on hers, "no. You don't and I can't say that I'm sorry about that."

Letting out a sigh and shifting out of his grip, she stands up and walking over to sit down on the bed, sliding on her sneakers, "d'you wanna go grab some breakfast? I could use a distraction."

Standing up, smiling, "sure. Let's go. I'm always happy to serve as a distraction."

Matching his smile, she picks up her radio and as they're walking out of the quarters, already slipping into the easy banter that they've always shared, she inwardly hopes that she'll see John before he is due to go back on duty that afternoon.

xxxx

Twenty-four hours later, Lexi comes back to their quarters to find John, sitting on their bed, staring right at her.

Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, she doesn't pay him any mind as she heads over to the desk and boots up the email on the laptop. Just as she's about to sit down, she startles, as she feels John's arms wrapping around her waist and his lips kissing the back of her neck.

Entwining the fingers of one hand with his, and reaching up to run the fingers of her right hand along his jaw, "I take it this is your way of saying you're sorry?"

Resting his chin on her shoulder, "yeah and also good-bye."

Turning around in his arms, looking up at him, "you guys are going to try and stop the hive ship?"

Leaning down to kiss her, pulling back a little, "yeah. We can't let that ship get to the point where it can't be stopped."

Letting out a sigh and standing on her toes to kiss him again, she smiles into the kiss as she feels him melting into it, and as she pulls back, she reaches up to play with the chain of his dog tags, "be safe and come back to me in one piece."

Smiling and pulling her into a hug, "and that right there is why I love you. Thanks, Lexi."

Pulling back slightly, rolling her eyes, as she knows that he's not thanking her just for loving him, "you're welcome. Now go save Earth, again. We'll be right here when you get home."

Smiling even wider, resting his hand on her stomach, and kneeling down to talk to it, "you kids be good to your mom." and looking up at Lexi, "they kicked. You think they understand us?"

Running her fingers through his hair, matching his smile, "I think they can hear your voice and know that they're safe as long as you're around." and leaning down to kiss him, pulling him up with her, "love you…fly boy."

"Colonel Sheppard to the control room. Colonel Sheppard to the control room."

Kissing her one last time and letting out a sigh, "love you too, doc. I'll see you soon."

Pushing him playfully towards the door, "John, go."

Leaning in for another kiss, talking through it, "this…is…me…going."

Pulling away from him and putting some distance between them, she laughs as he pouts and heads out, waving over his shoulder.

Watching him go, she rests her hands on her stomach and offering up a prayer to whatever g-ds might be listening, she turns and heads back to her desk to catch up on her emails, like she had been planning to do before John had distracted her.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chap. 21:**

* * *

"Lexi?"

Turning around at the sound of Keller's voice, Lexi grimaces and without saying anything turns back to the window and goes back to watching the stars streak by.

Letting out a sigh and coming to stand next to her at the window, noting with satisfaction that she still has the IV in at least, "you should still be in bed."

Glancing at Keller and then looking back out of the window, gripping the IV pole a little tighter, "I can't stay in the infirmary. It's too…"

Reaching over to gently squeeze her hand, "Lexi. Please. I know you're upset about losing the babies, but I need to keep an eye on you and I can't do that if you disappear on me."

Squeezing Keller's hand back, and turning slightly to face her, "will he blame me?"

Completely heartbroken at the misery she sees on Lexi's face, she pulls her into a hug and grimacing as she feels the tremors wracking Lexi's frame, "oh Lexi. There's no way he'll blame you. You didn't do anything wrong. No one did."

Burying her face in Keller's shoulder, letting the tears flow, "but if I…hadn't…"

Rubbing her back, and shaking her head, "no Lexi. Miscarriages happen and it's horrible that it did. But don't you dare blame yourself for this." and realizing that if she doesn't get Lexi lying down soon, she's gonna have an armful of unconscious psychiatrist on her hands, she grabs a hold of the IV pole and gently guides Lexi over to her bed.

As she helps Lexi lie down, "okay. I'll make you a deal."

Wiping her eyes and blearily blinking up at Keller, "what're…you…offering?"

Smirking a little at how much Lexi sounds like Sheppard, "if you promise to stay in bed for the next twenty four hours, then I'll let you stay here in your quarters."

Raising an eyebrow, "really?"

Covering Lexi with the blankets, "yes really. But I'm going to send Marie down to check on you every couple of hours and…"

Gripping Keller's arm hard, staring at her, fear coursing through her, "don't tell anyone. Promise me. I don't want anyone else to know!"

Pushing Lexi gently back against the pillows, looking her right in the eyes, she discreetly pulls out the syringe of sedative she had put in her lab coat pocket before coming to see Lexi, "Lexi, right now only you, Marie and I know that you lost the babies. I promise to keep it that way until you tell me otherwise." and uncapping the syringe, she inserts it in the IV port, pushing the plunger down, "now get some sleep. I'll send Marie by in a couple of hours."

Relaxing back into the pillows as the sedative starts to take effect, "don't tell John…don't tell…"

Frowning as she watches and hears the last couple of words that Lexi mumbles before the sedative finally pulls her under, Keller tucks her in again, and with one last look at her, she heads out of the quarters.

A few minutes later, she arrives back in sickbay just as Mr. Woolsey comes to alert her to the fact that she and her team will have to be ready at a moments notice. After he has left and she gets over the initial fear at what he has just told her, she gets her staff ready, and after letting Marie know that she'll be in charge of taking care of Lexi, and not to tell another soul about the loss of the twins, she heads into her office for a moment to collect her nerves, hoping against hope that everything will be okay.

xxxx

Two days later, after leaving the room where Todd is being kept, John resumes his search for Lexi, who he hasn't seen since before he left Pegasus to come back to defend Earth.

He's been searching for her in between taking care of everything that has needed taking care of after a battle the magnitude of the one they just fought and won, with no luck.

He's asked everyone on base and no one seems to have any idea where she is. He has tried hailing her on the radio and just as he reaches the exit to the balcony where he heard the voices of Woolsey, Beckett, Keller, Amelia and his team, he decides to try hailing her one more time, "Sheppard to Lexi. Please come in."

He hears some static and then releases a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding as her voice comes over the comm, "go ahead John."

Smiling to himself, "Lexi, where've you been. I've been searching everywhere for you."

"I'm sorry John. I was at the SGC. I needed to see Sam."

Feeling his gut tighten in worry as he can tell that something's not right by the tone of her voice, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing's really wrong."

Growling a little under his breath, "Lexi, please don't lie to me."

"John, it's okay. Really. But it's not something I can talk about over the radio. Just come see me in our quarters when you're done with whatever you're doing."

Bristling at the fact that she sounds as if he doesn't care about her, "fine. I'll see you in a few. Sheppard out." and taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he walks out onto the balcony, "oh, so this where everyone went, huh?"

He walks up to stand in between Ronon and Teyla and as he stares out at the Golden Gate bridge, he vaguely registers Keller and McKay talking. Just as McKay finishes speaking he absentmindedly throws out the comment, "nice view." and then goes back to thinking about the brief conversation he just had with Lexi and the fact that she wasn't there to welcome him back to Atlantis like she usually is.

He gets so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn't realize that everyone else has already headed back inside, until he feels a hand on his forearm. Glancing down at it he looks up to see Keller's concerned gaze on him, "oh hey, Jennifer."

Frowning at him, "John, are you okay?"

Matching her frown, and letting out a sigh, "to be honest, I'm a little tired."

Smirking at the fact that she finally got an honest answer out of him and it only took the almost annihilation of the world, "yeah, I can imagine. But that's not what I mean."

Leaning heavily against the railing, "yeah, I thought so." and sighing again, "I think Lexi's pissed at me for almost dying again and I know that when I left to come back to Earth, we were fine. But something's going on. I mean why would she need to go see Sam instead of being here when I got back? She's always here when I come back from a mission."

Matching his sigh, "John," and waiting until he is looking at her, "I can't tell you why she wasn't there when you got back. But right now, you need to find her and whatever happens, she's gonna need you to be there for her, even if she doesn't think that she needs you, and even if she pushes you away. Okay?"

Feeling that worry starting to claw at his insides again with every word that comes out of Keller's mouth, he pulls his arm from her grip and nodding his thanks to her, he hurries back into the city, making a bee line for their quarters.

Reaching their quarters in what seems like record time, he mentally opens the doors, and strides through them before they've even finished opening fully. Looking quickly around the room, he notes that the balcony door is open, and heads over to it.

As he steps through it, he immediately sees Lexi, leaning against the railing, her shoulders hunched and shaking, and as he gets closer to her, he sees that she's wearing one of his large hoodies and it's actually hanging loosely on her. Not letting the thoughts that are starting to swirl in his head stop him, he wraps his arms around her, noting that she's not as large as she was before he left, and as the reason for that hits him, he startles as she turns quickly in his arms and buries her face in his chest. He just barely makes out the, "I'm sorry, John." that she's hiccupping out through her sobs.

Completely shocked by everything, as it finally hits him why she's apologizing, he wraps his arms around her even tighter and for one of the only times he can ever remember, he let's the tears come without trying to stop them, following her down to sit on the floor as the emotions overwhelm them both.

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AN: So, after polling readers, I got the feeling that angst was how you wanted me to go. That is partially why I chose to have them lose the twins. Also, it made sense to me, as in the final show, when they needed someone to fly the city, they called in Beckett. If Lexi had kept the twins, then she would have been the one to fly the city and since she is my creation and didn't actually exist in the show, I chose to go in this direction.

AN2: I'm sorry to leave this chapter on a bit of an abrupt halt, but I will be finishing this story soon. I promise. Probably one more chapter to wrap everything up.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: This is the end of the story. Finally. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this and getting everybody's feedback. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think. I don't know if I'm going to continue writing in this universe as I think I've finally just burned out of ideas. But who knows maybe I will at some point in the future. Enjoy.

**Chap. 22:**

* * *

John, doesn't know how long they sit on the floor, trying to comfort each other, but eventually the sound of the door chime going off, forces him to look up from where he had his face buried in Lexi's shoulder. Pulling back a little to look at her, and then at the door, "are you okay to see people?"

Wiping her eyes and looking up at him, "no."

Nodding, he lets her go and standing up, he holds in a groan as his muscles protest the position they've been sitting in, and slowly walks over to the door, wiping his own eyes and running his hands through his hair.

Reaching the doors, he takes a deep breath and swiping them open, he's taken by surprise when two arms wrap around him and it takes his brain a moment to realize that it's his brother who is hugging him. Once the realization sinks in though, he grips Dave just as tight, and is only slightly aware of Sam walking past them into their quarters and doing the same thing to Lexi and of Dave walking them backwards, so that the doors can close.

A couple of minutes later, he pulls away, staring at Dave in shock, "what're…how're you…"

Frowning, Dave juts his chin towards Sam, who is currently sitting on the edge of the bed with her arms around Lexi, "Colonel Carter contacted me a few hours ago and was able to get me clearance for all of this and you and I will be having words about everything at another time, but, she said you might need your older brother."

Wiping his eyes again, offering up a sheepish shrug at Dave's admonition, he looks over at Sam, who has now shifted her grip on Lexi, and is talking quietly with her. Looking back at Dave, he leans against the cabinet that is to the right of the doors, "she lost…the twins." and as the words leave his lips, he feels a shudder run through him as the realization completely hits him.

Stepping closer to John, gripping his shoulder again, "what can I do?"

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, "I don't know. She just told me and with everything that I'm gonna have to do now that we're back on…"

"Colonel, don't even say it." comes Sam's voice, interrupting him.

Eyes darting over to Sam and Lexi, "but Sam…"

Glaring at him, all the while still keeping an arm wrapped around Lexi's shoulders, "no John. You're on stand down for the next week. General Landry already signed off on it." and holding up a hand to silence him, "you and Lexi, need to deal with this."

Returning her glare, "I know that, but Sam, what about Todd, and making sure the IOA doesn't keep Atlantis here? We need to…"

"John, please."

Looking at Lexi, and deflating at the look of complete misery on her face, "okay. Okay." and looking at Dave, "do we still have the villa on lake Cuomo?"

Smiling, a little, "yeah." and looking at Sam, "is there any way I can make a phone call?"

Squeezing Lexi's shoulders and standing up, "yes." and looking from John to Lexi and back, coming over to where John and Dave are standing by the door, "you guys get packed and I'll help Dave set everything up."

Nodding and standing up to walk over to Lexi, John is surprised again for the second time in twenty minutes when Sam wraps him in a hug and kisses his cheek. Patting her back, awkwardly, "ah, thanks."

Pulling away from him, smiling at the look on his face, "you're welcome. Just take care of her and yourself. Don't worry about anything here. It'll still be waiting for you when you get back. I'll make sure of it."

Nodding at her, he returns her smile and walks them out. After they've left, he turns and faces Lexi, and letting out a sigh, as the doors shut leaving them in silence, "Lexi, I'm…"

Getting up and coming over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, looking him in the eyes, "thank you."

Leaning down to kiss her, talking through the kiss, "you're…welcome."

With that they separate and start packing and within twelve hours, they arrive in Lake Cuomo. As they drop their bags on the chaise lounge in the master bedroom of the villa, John wraps Lexi up in his arms and starts to kiss her, guiding her over to the king size bed and before either of them know it, they've divested themselves of their clothing and are making love to each other in the moonlight that is streaming in through the large French doors that lead out onto the balcony overlooking the lake. Neither of them caring that their sounds of pleasure are intermixed with the sound of sobs for what they've lost.

xxxx

A week later, John finds Lexi standing on the patio over looking the lake and as he walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her, "are you ready to go back?"

Turning in his arms, standing on her toes to kiss him, she smiles as she pulls away slightly, "yeah. Are you?"

Leaning down to kiss her again, and pulling back a few minutes later as he really does love kissing her, "yeah. Are we going to be okay?"

Taking his face in both hands, looking him in the eyes, "yeah. I've still got you and as long as you keep coming back to me, we're gonna be just fine."

He kisses her one more time and pulling back, "then I'll always try and come back." and with a smile he reaches up to his ear and hitting the radio in his ear, taking her right hand with his left, "Sheppard to the General Hammond, we're ready to beam."

As the lights engulf them, their eyes lock and they smile at each other as they know that they're heading back to where they belong and Atlantis will also soon be back where it belongs as well. Which means that everything in their crazy lives will be as right as it can be.


End file.
